A bride-to-be has sparked a heated debate after revealing she had asked one of her bridesmaids to lose weight in order to fit into her dress.
The 24-year-old, who is planning on getting married in October, took to Reddit to ask for advice after her bridesmaid, cousin Mila, revealed she had ‘grown out’ of her grown.
“For whatever reason” - perhaps the fact that we’re in the midst of a global pandemic - “Mila has been gaining a lot of weight over the past few months, and I’d estimate she’s up 30-40 pounds (13-18kg),” the woman explains, adding she had been the one to pay for the “somewhat expensive” dresses.
“Mila has broken it to me that she ‘grew out of’ her dress and will need a new one. Unfortunately, the style is not available in plus sizes and would need to be custom made, if it’s possible to get at all.”
Given she had already paid for the original dress, the bride says it was “inconsiderate for her to put on weight”.
“I texted her last week and told her my issues. I gently asked her to go back to the size she was last fall,” she continues.
“She didn’t respond, but she has been vague-posting about ‘women who tear other women down’ and anti body shaming stuff. So I’m pretty sure she’s mad.
“What do I do? Was I wrong to even ask?”
Most people seemed to agree both parties were somewhat in the wrong.
“She shouldn't have just assumed that you could/should/would fork out for a brand new dress,” one person said. “You shouldn't assume she can lose that weight again by October, and you certainly shouldn't tell her to do so.”
Another said ‘both were the a**hole’, “Mila for assuming you'd just pay for another dress, regardless of the reason. You for pretty much demanding she lose weight, with no seeming interest as to why this might have happened,” the person wrote.
A ‘fellow overweight lady’ said the bride had been generous to pay for the dress in the first place.
“Her just assuming you'll pay because she out on weight is very poor on her part,” she commented. “Her own choices led to it not fitting, so she should take responsibility to resolve it. Whether that's getting an alternative or losing weight.
“You could argue that the lockdown situation makes it difficult to keep in shape, but I still don't think that justifies her entitlement and passive-aggressive response.”
There were a few who defended the bride.
“Was it an insensitive remark? Sure, but she wasn't fat-shamming her,” one person wrote.
But others thought she was way out of line.
“‘I think it's inconsiderate of her to put on weight’, like the bridesmaid planned it, is pretty f***ing entitled and shame-y,” was one person’s response.
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