Yahoo Lifestyle Bride Regrets Her Recent Wedding, Can't Bear to Look at Photos: 'Traumatized from It All'
The bride said she was "bullied" and "gaslit" by her mother and wedding planner, and that more than half of her wedding guests who RSVP'd "yes" didn't show up
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Sad bride crying (stock image)A newlywed woman complained on Reddit about everything that went wrong on her wedding day
She mostly blames her mother and wedding planner, even going as far to say that they "bullied" and "gaslit" her
Redditors were sympathetic in the comments section, and suggested that the poster should try to focus on the positives of her big day
A newlywed woman "can't stop focusing on what went wrong" on her wedding day.
Even though her family and friends loved her wedding, the bride explained in a post on Reddit's "Wedding" forum that she reflects negatively on it. Her big day wasn't the celebration she envisioned because her mother "bullied" her into listening to a wedding planner who made every decision for her.
"My mom pushed me into using a planner after I planned it all (type A little old me), and basically bullied me into thinking I had done it all wrong," she wrote. "The planner was her wedding gift to me but it was such a burden. She told me to extend almost every aspect by an hour, which I disagreed with. But I felt so gaslit the whole time by both of them and ended up listening to some advice. Looking back, everything I let the planner advise me on went badly."
She emphasized: "I knew what was best and what I wanted, but nobody listened to me."
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Sad bride (stock image)Issues arose even before the wedding. The date was set on a Sunday and the location was not a temple. The bride's "very Mormon" mother immediately "hated" this decision because The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) members traditionally have temple marriages.
"[It] is 'embarrassing for good parents' she's always said," the bride notes of her mother, who made "a passive aggressive comment" in her toast at the wedding reception that she's glad her daughter "finally found someone who can put up with" her.
To make matters worse, many invitees skipped the celebration entirely.
"Even though we had a ton of RSVPs yes, more than half didn't show with no explanation," the bride continues.
Due to poor scheduling and planning on the wedding coordinator's part, "nobody danced" at the wedding.
"I told my mom I was bothered with how people behaved and she told me that's what happens when I try to go too big with things people don't really care about," the poster wrote.
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Sad bride (stock image)The bride also noted that even though her mother wasn't compassionate about her concerns, she complained that "the coordinator was trying to do the mother's job of wedding management."
Activities after the wedding didn't improve. The poster's parents previously volunteered to help out with post-wedding responsibilities, which included returning decor rentals. But because they were "too tired to do it after putting on the entire wedding," they backed out and made the newlyweds do it the next day. This forced them to leave their hotel and drive back to their venue, which was more than an hour and a half away.
"We got our wedding photos back two weeks ago (a month after) and I can't bring myself to look because I honestly feel low-key traumatized from it all," the bride admitted.
Since her wedding, the poster has "had trouble working through it." She has been "overwhelmed" with all of the aspects that make her "sad from it."
"I planned it out so intricately and wish I had stood my ground and had more support from family rather than being told to change everything and blamed for it not working later," she said.
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Redditors in the comments section felt bad for the bride, and suggested that she get counseling and set boundaries with her mother. They also advised her to focus on what weddings are really about — tying the knot with the love of your life.
"The only important thing about that day is you made a covenant with someone you love, and it’s up to you to begin being happy with your spouse. Please, try to put the pain behind you," one commenter wrote in part. "Focus on building a beautiful FUTURE with your spouse. There’s nothing you can do to change the past, and there’s no sense in wallowing in the sorrow."
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