Bride Regrets Choosing Friend of Over 10 Years to Be Her Bridesmaid, Wants Her to 'Step Down'

A regretful bride is asking Reddit users: "Should I ask a bridesmaid to step down?"

The bride getting married in August 2025 explained in a post on the platform's "Wedding" forum that in order to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, she ended up inviting a person she's been friends with for over 10 years to join her bridal party — but it turned out to be a decision she soon regretted.

"I was wary about choosing this particular friend because we sometimes have disagreements and she is extremely anxious, therefore if I do anything she doesn’t like it’s a massive, massive deal," the bride wrote. "She asks me to be more open and honest with her but I can’t because she tells her partner everything (which is totally fine), but then he goes and gossips and spreads rumors about my partner and I."

At the time, it "felt right" to pick the woman as her bridesmaid. The bride's fiancé told her she had to choose her because he already knew who his groomsmen were and there were five of them and she only had four bridesmaids — her two sisters, sister-in-law and a close friend. Asking another woman to be her bridesmaid would make the number even, and given her history with her friend it made sense on the surface.

But as the wedding date approaches, the bride is "regretting" her decision.

"I basically don’t trust her and I always feel like I have to be so careful about her," she said. "She’s been my friend for over 10 years and if I didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid she would probably be really petty and spread more rumors."

The gossipy friend has denied ever spreading rumors, but the bride doesn't believe her.

"I don’t know how else it happened," she continued. "If I ask her to stop being a bridesmaid I believe she would try and turn all of our shared friends against me, and her partner would be angry and malicious."

Related: Groomsman Struggles to Tell Friend He Can't Afford the Nearly $4K Needed to Attend a Destination Wedding

Now, the bride is "torn and frustrated."

"I think I’m going to give her one more chance (without telling her) and if any gossip or rumors about me come back to me that are from her, then I will ask her to step down," the bride decided. "I don’t think it may be wise to just ask her out of nowhere."

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Reddit users gave the poster advice in the comments section.

"You’re too old to have frenemies like this," one person wrote. "But also asking her to step down would be friendship ending, and this girl seems like she would have a fiery vendetta. I would pick whatever gives you less headache."

Another Redditor added: "There’s no way she won’t take you asking her to step down as a massive slight and make it a drama. Essentially, you just have to decide if this is a person you want in your life at all!"

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