People Are Dragging This Bride For Refusing To Give Her Sister A Plus One, And It's Because Of How Incredibly Judgemental The Bride Was

Plus-ones seem to be a very contentious topic when it comes to weddings and who receives an extra invite—and this couldn't be truer for one bride who went viral after sharing why she doesn't want her sister to have an extra seat on her big day.

Here's the story in the bride's own words: "My sister has always been — to put it frankly — a pick me girl," the bride said. "She has no friends that are women because she says 'she sees them as competition' and she likes to be friends with boys."

"She will only date rich men and refuses to settle for less (a little bit to that later)."

"My sister has not had a relationship last longer than two months, and she always has a new guy on her shoulder. My mother and fiancé were recently talking about this before I sent out my invitations. I had mentioned since our venue was on the smaller side, we didn’t want strangers in our wedding, nor did we want them in our wedding photos."

"My mom made a comment about how anyone my sister would bring would be a fling since she currently was not in a relationship.

When we went home that night, I brought it up to my fiancé (we’ll call him Bertram). I told Bertram that I really did not want a complete stranger in my wedding pictures, and certainly not someone my sister would only have been dating for a few weeks, maybe a month."

"Well, just this past week, Bertram and I sent out our wedding invitations, and they read: 'We have reserved __ seat(s) in your name.' So, for example, for my fiancé’s family, theirs reads, 'We have reserved four seat(s) in your name.' When my sister received her invitation, hers read: 'We have reserved one seat(s) in your name.' And boy, was she upset."

"She called me and told me it was not fair that she could not bring a plus one. I mentioned to her that she didn’t have the best track record with men and that Bertram and I really didn’t want some random person nobody would talk about in our wedding pictures."

"She said that I was selfish and that since our wedding was towards the end of December (the 29th), she had six months to find a boyfriend and that it would be a serious relationship. Now, here, I might’ve gotten mean, but I told her I would seriously doubt if she found anyone, given her track record for the absolutely worst men alive."

"She got upset, hung up, and said she will be attending my wedding with a boyfriend of four-plus months because she will find one. Am I the asshole for not giving her a plus one? And would I be an asshole for considering to uninvite her altogether?"

WELL! I'll be honest, initially I was on the bride's side.

Lifetime / Via giphy.com

Similar to these readers, I initially felt that plus-ones are up to the discretion of the couple, regardless of the reasoning.

"For the last time, for everyone in the back, you don't have to invite anyone to your wedding just because someone expects it," Redditor NotCreativeAtAll16 commented. "Just like people are free to take that invitation and respond to it how they see fit."

"I feel like people tend to forget that plus ones also aren’t free," user spicymorenaaa agreed. "It’s your wedding at the end of the day."

Then people started introducing valid reasons as to why the bride may actually be the asshole.

"I personally wanted people to feel comfortable, so most single invitees got plus ones," an anonymous user wrote. "The day after your wedding, when the excitement of planning wears off, I guarantee that you will regret being this petty. Before your wedding, you’re the center of attention, and everything is for the bride; after the wedding, you will not have the same amount of people co-signing your nonsense."

A LOT of commenters pointed out how judgemental the bride sounded when writing about her sister, and feel that this emotion leaked into what could have been a candid conversation.

"Gonna go against the grain and say you're the asshole," user growsonwalls said. "You come across as very judgy and contemptuous of your sister, and I bet that tone was apparent when you explained to her the rule. You might win the battle, but if you value your sister at all, you need to find more respectful, empathetic ways of communicating with her."

"You’re placing yourself on a pedestal and using your wedding as an excuse to belittle and shame your sister’s love-life because her plus-one might be in some photos?" an anonymous user wrote.

"If I were her, I wouldn’t even come, and years down the road, when people ask why, you can tell them you cared more about the wedding photos than your sister. Get over yourself, seriously."

Finally, user FeuerroteZora succinctly wrote:

"You're not an asshole for not giving your sister a plus one, but DAMN, the way you talked to her? You had so many options and you chose to be an asshole every time.

You knew that this was going to be something your sister would want to discuss. Why on Earth didn't you prepare yourself for this conversation? You should have had a clear, neutral explanation ready to go. 'Because this is a small wedding, we only want people there that we have a relationship with. We don't want someone there we don't know.'

Of course a discussion (and possibly an argument) would follow. But at least you could have gotten off on the right foot.

Instead, what you did say, the very first explanation you gave her, was that she didn’t have the best track record with men. Damn, girl, you went right for the throat. You immediately made it personal, and you did so in a massively judgmental way. You don't approve of her relationship history, so she doesn't get to bring a date.

You could have given her an explanation that wasn't hurtful and judgmental, but for reasons of your own, chose not to. She responded poorly, but you absolutely provoked her.

And as if that wasn't enough, you then made absolutely clear that this was 100% about you disapproving of her choices and that there's nothing she can do to change your low opinion of her and her relationships. Yeah, saying, 'Well, I'm going to find a boyfriend right now just to spite you,' is her being petulant, but you basically told her you don't think she's capable of having a relationship with a decent guy. Ouch.

And again, you had other options!! You could so easily have told her, 'Well if you start seriously dating someone, we can revisit this discussion." But that wasn't what you said at all. And because she reacted badly again, now you're thinking of uninviting her entirely?

I'm sure you love your sister, but it really doesn't seem as if you like her very much. At every turn during this conversation, you chose the most hurtful thing to say, even though there were blatantly obvious alternatives available to you.

I'm going with you're the asshole, because while your sister also behaved badly, you really provoked her."

What are your thoughts on the situation? Let me know in the comments.