Blogger’s refreshingly honest post

Jessi Kneeland is keeping it real on Instagram. Photo: Instagram/Jessi Kneeland
Jessi Kneeland is keeping it real on Instagram. Photo: Instagram/Jessi Kneeland

While plenty of laughs have been had at the expense of the Instagram vs reality trend, not a lot of real progress has actually been made.

Despite the trend’s popularity, you don’t have to look far on the social media platform to find unrealistic standards – but body confidence coach Jessi Kneeland is different, and only shares her true self with her 20,000 followers.

“It’s SO challenging to learn how to like and accept and approve of yourself when mainstream societal messaging says that only a very specific kind of body is acceptable,” she tells Yahoo Lifestyle.

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Hi. This is a friendly reminder to not let angles and poses fool you! “Instagram-worthy photos” are typically the ones that make the subject look closest to societal standards of beauty, status, and success, NOT the ones that make them look the closest to themselves. # On the left you can see me posing, sucking in, twisting, and holding my body at an angle considered “flattering” due to the fact that my waist looks small, my boobs look perky, and overall I look suitably thin and feminine. # On the right you can see me sitting like I actually sit 90% of the time, which means my back is kinda hunched (no advice needed on that, thank you!) and my belly is relaxed. In these high waisted shorts, sitting naturally means my belly rolls are hidden but my boobs hang past my waistband lol. # I am meant to feel “confident” about the left photo, and embarrassed by the right, according to the rules of being a woman in our culture. Once upon a time the right photo would have felt like instant blackmail, something I would delete and go to any lengths to keep hidden or secret. But I no longer get my confidence from appearing (or being) closer to some cultural “ideal,” or from what other people think of me, or from how I look in general. # Since the photo on the right looks like ME, from my posture to my smile to my boobs, and since I *genuinely* like and approve of myself, I like the right photo better. # Out of curiosity, what do you think would happen if, overnight, we all stopped posting photos that tell lies, and gave ourselves permission to post photos that reflect our truths instead? What if we stopped using poses and angles and filters and other smoke and mirrors and just let ourselves BE? # Note: I recognize that I still have an enormous amount of privilege, due to being thin, white, young, able-bodied, cis-gender, and conventionally attractive. While I believe confidence IS an inside job for everyone, I do not mean to imply that anyone can just “choose confidence,” that doing so is easy, or that systemic oppression doesn’t affect how a person feels about themselves. #justbe #confidenceisaninsidejob #theonlyapprovalyouneedisyourown

A post shared by Jessi Kneeland (@jessikneeland) on Apr 15, 2019 at 6:00pm PDT

“For women, that body is, among other things, white, thin, free of cellulite, able bodied, ‘feminine’ and confirming to a million micro-details of beauty standards, like perky boobs and no stretch marks and smooth poreless skin and dazzling white teeth and on and on and on.”

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She says that these ridiculously high beauty standards teach women that their worth is dependant on their looks and “that only women who conform to these impossible beauty ideals are worthy.”

Jessi recently shared a side-by-side Instagram vs reality photo, with the image on the left showing her with perfect posture and a sucked-in stomach, while the one on the ride shows her sitting naturally.

“I like to find ways to show my audience that those beauty ideals are falsified, impossible, and unimportant,” she tells us.

“I like to show them that we don’t need to hide or be ashamed of the parts of our bodies that society calls ‘flaws’, and that we can form our OWN relationship with our bodies and ourselves outside of that narrative.”

Confidence is an inside job, Jessi says, and she often posts empowering messages alongside her photos, urging women to block out the noise and practice self love.

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The results have been positive with many of her followers enjoying the fact that Jessi is transparent about her ‘flaws’.

“A ton of women feel liberated and empowered by seeing the ‘invisible curtain’ of Instagram-worthy beauty standards being drawn back, and getting to see someone be real,” she says.

“Occasionally, of course, I get dudes telling me which picture they like better (completely missing the point that only my own opinion of myself matters) or someone trying to tell me that I’m ugly, wrong, unhealthy, or whatever.”

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