Aysha Welch was 'heartbroken' after early “Survivor 47” elimination

"It was just so hard processing the personal disappointment I felt within myself."

Aysha Welch went from podcasting about Survivor to living Survivor when she showed up in Fiji for Survivor 47. Unfortunately, her life in the game did not last very long. Aysha became the first person voted out of the Lavo tribe after she would not agree to vote out her ally Sol Yi. Her intractability eventually persuaded Kishan Patel and Teeny Chirichillo to flip the script and vote Aysha out instead.

Does Aysha regret not at least telling Kishan and Teeny what they wanted to hear? Does she think volunteering for the day one journey left her in a role when it came to building bonds with her tribemates? And, most important of all, did Rome Cooney really spit fish guts onto her? We asked Aysha all that and more, including how difficult it was for her as a big fan to be the first Lavo to go.

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ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Be real with me, Aysha, because we saw it all over your face and we heard it in your words. How hard was it to be the first person voted off your tribe?

AYSHA WELCH: Oh, it was incredibly tough. Because being the first one voted off your tribe, it feels like the first one voted out, right? Because you're like, we haven't had to test these dynamics. We haven't had to test the loyalties yet. So then it was just like, dang. I was so hard on myself. Was I not able to navigate the social element of this game? The strategic element of this game?

But then watching it play out and knowing what was true, what wasn't true, what I suspected and what was actually true of what I suspected — it was like, okay, there were so many things at play, such as the idol, such as I didn't know if it was a Steal a Vote or an extra vote. So trying to plan against that, that made it tough for sure. And the fact that our tribe was very clear duos, I think that that made it really hard to navigate, which is really tough with the six person tribes.

You appeared to point right at Kishan and Teeny after the deed was done when you said how much it hurt. Why them specifically?

It just hurt in so many ways because I felt when I came into this game, I was like, I am going to be as myself as possible. I felt like the only thing that I wasn't going to mention just upfront was that I was a podcaster, but everything else was going to be true. I was going to let them know the real me. I pride myself in my social relationships, and I just felt like I got to know Teeny and Kishan as well as you can get to know someone in seven days with other people in close proximity. And so not only did I feel like I was building these personal relationships with them, I also felt like I'm all in on this four. I don't know what else I can do to assure you that I am with this four.

There's not even a possibility that I could work with Genevieve or Rome. That wasn't even on the table. And they knew that. They were very aware of that. Maybe that was my misstep in just thinking that I was being overly reassuring and they thought I was just playing the game and thinking I was keeping my options open.

But there was just no world where I was working with Rome, which meant there was no world I would be able to work with Genevieve, because they were so close. I mean, I would wake up at night and those two would be talking, and I'm like, “Okay, I know that those two are locked in, so I'm all in on Kishan and Teeny. So that's what hurt the most, that I felt like I was all in on y'all. I was not turning on y'all. So why?

Related: Survivor 47 recap: Prepare for the Romeaissance

So when Kishan and Teeny came to you with the plan that Sol was the target, why put yourself at risk by seemingly refusing to go along with it, or was that not how that went down?

In a way, it was how it went down because they did pitch to me: “Hey, Rome has an idol. We don't know if Rome is going to play it on him or Genevieve, so let's vote Sol.” And so I'm just like, “Let's weigh our options. Why does it have to be Sol?” Because in my mind, if you're willing to get rid of Sol, you're willing to get rid of me. So if I willingly get rid of Sol here, I'm on the bottom. Also, Sol was a huge help for us in every challenge up to that point. Have you seen the man? He is so strong, he was so key to us winning when we did.

And so I was just like, “Look, I hear you. but let's explore these options.” And they even told me they were down to vote Genevieve. They told me they were down to split the votes 3 to 1. And so that was the reassurance that I had, and which is why I did not play my Shot in the Dark, because if I'm siding with them, I need my vote. I can't give up my vote. So in the chance that they do side with me, I'd need my vote to go through with this plan so we don't have any ties or anything.

I also didn't know if what Rome got on the journey was an extra vote or a Steal a Vote. So if you're playing with an extra vote, that's seven votes you have to account for. With a Steal a Vote, that's just six. And so them pitching Sol to me was so dumb in the moment because it's like, what incentive do I have to vote out Sol? You even hear Kishan say it on the episode that “We're saving your butt.” Just so I'm forever indebted to you? That just didn't feel like a good enough reason. I might as well wrote down my own name at the next Tribal Council whenever Lavo goes again.

So it didn't make sense to me why I would side with them because they did say in that conversation, "It'll be us three against them two." If you vote out Sol, it's going to be us three against them two. No, you're obviously with those two if you're willing to get rid of Sol. Because what was missing in that conversation was their willingness to vote for Genevieve. It didn't seem like they had a strong enough reason why it felt like she was off the table.

And then right before we went to Tribal, they said, “Look, we're down to vote. Genevieve 3-1. I couldn't make sense of why they would be siding with Rome, because the only thing I could think was: You are giving Rome another person that is voting with him. You get rid of me, Rome has the power no matter what. He doesn't even need you to do anything. Him, Genevieve, and whatever advantage he has, that's all he needs. And so it just didn't make sense to me logically why they would want to get rid of me or Sol.

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Right before voting when you said, “I don’t want to call anybody out, but I hope the person that agreed to vote with me sticks with that” — who was that directed towards?

That was directed towards Rome, because I wanted to make sure that Rome played his idol on himself.

Really? Wow.

I wanted Rome to be scared enough that he played the idol on himself. Because when Teeny and Kishan told me we're down to vote 3-1, I said, “Okay, what I'm going to do is I'm going to try to make sure Rome plays the idol on himself. If that's truly y'all's fear that he's going to play the idol on Genevieve. I want to make sure he plays it on himself. That way we can get Genevieve out.

And so I even went up to Genevieve right before Tribal. I was like, “Hey, just so you know, me and Sol got a third vote. I'm not going to say who it is, but we have a third vote to get out Rome. I don't want you to be left out of the vote.” And so then I was just like, if she's able to communicate that to Rome before we go to Tribal, that works. And then in the case that she didn't, that's why I said that last second thing, just to make sure that he felt unsafe so that Kishan and Teeny knew that I was going all in on them. But little did I know, they didn't care.

Related: Survivor host Jeff Probst explains how he does not fall into the ocean

What have the past four months been like, knowing this episode was coming and you were going to have to relive it all over again? Because I’m sure it hasn't been easy.

It's not easy whatsoever. I will say nothing prepares you for that. Survivor has always been something that I thought was impossible. I just thought it was so hard. So then when I finally did apply last year, I was like, “You know what? I finally feel like I can do it. I feel like I can at least go out there.” And then you get closer and closer and you're like, “Wait, okay, I'm actually about to make it on the show! Okay, I am about to going to go play!” And then pregame, I'm like, “Wait, I'm looking at my competition, I think I could win! I think there are a lot of people here I can get along with, a lot of people here I can strategize with. Okay, I can win!”

So then now I'm at that mindset of, “I can win!” Not, “Oh, I want to make the merge!” Or “Oh, I just want to survive the first vote.” Which is why I wasn't willing to get rid of Sol. Me and Sol had such a strong relationship, which is what I feel like was missing from the first three episodes was day one, he was the only one so reassuring to me that “It's okay, you did something none of us were willing to do by going and battling for the camp supplies.”

And so from that moment on, Sol was just like my safety blanket. He was the one I could escape to talk about our workouts back home. We were talking about family, we were talking about our pets, and so I really bonded with Sol. And so it just was like, not only do we need him as a tribe, but I personally need him here. And so when I'm I'm in this mindset of I'm out there and then your first Tribal Council, you go home. I'm just like, “Oh my gosh, did that just happen?” My Survivor experience is over at this point, and I just was heartbroken.

Those first couple of months back home were so hard because for one, no one knows what happened, and you're just dealing with it on your own and you're just like, yeah, I have my parents, I have my brother. But it was just so hard processing the personal disappointment I felt within myself. I set a goal and then I felt like I didn't accomplish that goal, which was to win.

When now sitting here, getting to experience the show, getting to experience the love and support that I've been receiving, I'm like: You know what? The goal was to go out there and show myself what I was capable of. And, I did accomplish that goal. I did meet that goal for myself. So that's what is definitely fulfilling is knowing, okay, there's only one winner. One out of the 18 of us are winning, so what else did I get out of the experience? And I feel like being able to last even seven days, there's a point I didn't think I could last one day. And so being able to last seven days, being able to build the bonds that I was able to create out there, it was just like, oh my gosh, that part was really satisfying. Once I got past the like, “Dang, I didn't win.”

Related: Survivor 47 cast reveal bold predictions for the season

You and TK both went on the opening journey rather than going back to start building bonds with the tribe, and were both voted out first from your tribes. He told me last week he thinks missing that time definitely played a role in him going home. What about in your case, do you regret doing that?

I don't regret going the first day only because I felt like what I was missing was a bond with Genevieve and Rome, which I don't think would've been there if I hadn't even gone. I think even if I showed up day one, Rome is Rome, and I think there could have been something else at play. There were many weeks I beat myself up about going on that battle for camp supplies, but then I just play it out in my head. I'm just like, okay, what if Sol went, I could have been in the same position as where Sol was.

They still grouped me and Sol together. So let's say I'm there and then they're still going to group me and Sol together, and all remains the same. And so I felt confident enough in social abilities to go on the journey and be able to come back and start building relationships. But when I did agree to go on the mat, Teeny turned to me and said, “Hey, I can't wait to talk to you back at camp.” I said, “Okay, good. This is great.” And then Sol turned to me and grabbed my hand. He said, “Asians for Aysha.” I said, “Okay, we're good. At least I'm good with two people before I've even arrived at camp.”

Okay, here’s a question: What is it like living with Rome?

[Laughs] It's like, okay, imagine a person that is just so determined for you to be impressed by them. They don't care to get to know you. They don't care to learn anything about you, but they just want you to be impressed by them no matter what they do. That is Rome in a nutshell.

It just got to the point where the sun would set and I'd hear him talking on the beach and I'm just like, I can't just go to bed because I know he's bragging about something he's experienced in his life. He's bragging about this, he's bragging about that. There were even times where we would go to sleep at night and he'd ask us a question and I'm like, “You're asking us so you can answer it yourself.” He would ask the question and then one person would answer and he's like, “Oh, well, here's my answer, blah, blah, blah." And then he said, “Okay, next question.” Like, “Oh, okay. Forget about the rest of us.”

So it got to the point where our conversations were interviews. It’s like this. I'm just asking him questions like, “Oh, tell me about life back home. Tell me about your pets.” Nothing in return. I can guarantee you Rome didn't learn a single thing about me for the seven days that we were out there —which is very surprising, just to see the confessionals about how much disdain he had for me. Why? I don't know. So that's on him.

Did he ever attempt to fake his own death while out on the island?

[Laughs]

No, that didn't happen?

It didn't. Not that I'm aware of, but I know he is not above it.

So, did he spit fish guts on you?

He was sitting there chowing down on the fish. I felt something hit my back. Unless it was a random fly that happened to run into me at the same time that Rome is spitting out fishbone, I am 99% confident it happened. And I know just knowing who Rome showed himself to be, I know he didn't care.

Finally, what’s something that didn’t make it to air that you wish we had a chance to see?

Just the clear dynamics of there being three duos. We were all well aware that Kishan and Teeny were in the middle. We were aware that they had the choice to pick whatever side that they wanted to. But there was so much friction between the Genevieve and Rome and the Sol and me duos that we were never working together. And so there was not a potential of us four joining forces for whatever reason. So it wasn't as much of a blindside for Kishan to write my name down. I packed all my stuff. I knew that if they decided that they wanted to side with Genevieve and Rome, what can I do about that besides get rid of my vote? And then Sol goes, and then I just didn't understand: What was the game plan?

I didn't think that I needed a loyalty test. If they wanted to get rid of Sol, they could have got rid of Sol, but they decided to test me and say, “Oh, do you want to get rid of your number one?” I'm sorry, you wouldn't have got rid of your number one, so why am I the one being punished for that? So just overall, those were the overall dynamics of Lavo day-to-day, which is why it wasn't a surprise with how things played out because they just ended up choosing that side over us.

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