Meet Red – a 24-year-old currently engaged to the love of her life. But she’s also a sugar baby, and has three sugar daddies.
The Melbourne local, originally from the UK, and her fiancé have been together for over five years but have an open relationship.
“I used to find it hard to stay loyal in relationships and it really affected my mental health,” Red, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells Yahoo Lifestyle.
“I always felt so guilty for loving more than one person, and I never understood the concept of monogamy.
“Every relationship is different. For us, it means we can both play with others when we’re apart.”
She first found out about sugar dating and the website Seeking Arrangement through a friend after the couple “hit a financial wall”.
“We were struggling to live with any quality of life – then a work mate told me her friend met up with a guy just for him to buy her used underwear,” she tells us. “I’ve always been pretty open to anything.”
At first, her fiancé needed some convincing. Red says he believed it would just be “sleazy old guys” wanting to take advantage of her. But when their situation got worse he actually suggested Red start looking for a sugar daddy.
“He calls the shots when it comes to our open relationship, as I’m the one who initiated it, which is only fair,” she says.
Red explains there are plenty of guys on the site who aren’t looking for a long-term commitment, they just want companionship, alongside intimacy.
While she is constantly in touch with multiple people, Red says she currently has three sugar daddies that offer financial help regularly. And she is even on the hunt for a sugar mummy as well.
“I’m intimate with most guys, but it’s not like I go there and they expect me to put out, I only go for it when I feel a connection,” she explains.
“We go out for food or coffee, go for walks or go shopping – one of my sugar daddies bought me the most amazing vintage jacket without a prompt – and chill at their places watching films.”
She’s also received ‘gifts’ of more substantial financial value. One sugar daddy once flew her to Byron Bay to stay with him for a few days. She’s had her rent paid for while between jobs, help towards her partner’s visa, and even money towards their very own apartment in Melbourne.
Red does make all of her potential dates aware of the fact she’s engaged, and says most of the men are totally okay with it.
But her sugar daddies and her fiancé never have anything to do with each other.
“He doesn’t want to meet my sugar daddies unless they’re paying him to join in,” she jokes.
“There are some things we just don’t want to over-complicate. There are a few guys out there looking for threesomes and we’re open to anything, but we haven’t explored that avenue yet.”
While there are plenty of myths around about sugar dating, Red says there are all sorts of people on the site.
“It’s a great platform for people to explore what gets them going. I think sex and affection are such great tools to relieve stress,” she says.
She does admit not everything is as glamorous as it sounds. She’s had some “horrible” meet ups, and there are plenty of guys that want nothing more than to be “satisfied”.
“There are a lot of guys on there who lie about their relationship status, but I just duck out if they mention a wife or kids,” she says. “I may be polyamorous but there’s no denying my parent’s divorce messed me up a bit, I don’t want to be that woman.”
Overall though she says the experience has been amazing for her and only helped her grow as a person.
“These aren’t just old sleazy guys who are un-dateable. There are a lot of incredible, intelligent, wise, handsome guys who have a lot to give aside from money. I’ve learnt a lot about life from the chats I’ve had,” she says.
And whether things will change when she eventually gets married, well that’s up to her fiancé.
“We don’t tend to plan too far ahead, we don’t have a date set and we’ve got a lot we want to do before we treat ourselves to the best day ever,” she says.
“Right now, we’re both really happy with where this is going and the doors it’s opening for us both. The open relationship confirmed I want to be with my guy forever, we have such an amazing connection, so if he turns around one day and wants this to stop, that’s okay too.”
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