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Armie Hammer Revealed What Happened When He Tried To Hook Up With A Man Once, And I'm At A Loss For Words

Mychal Thompson
·3-min read

Content warning: Discussion of abuse, rape, suicide, and addiction.

Armie Hammer "tried hooking up with a dude one time," and he spilled all the details, whether you want to hear it or not.

Man in a textured sweater, posing at an event with a neutral expression
Man in a textured sweater, posing at an event with a neutral expression

In 2021, the Call Me by Your Name actor faced numerous accusations from women of physical abuse and sexual assault. However, in May 2023, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office determined there wasn't enough evidence for him to face charges.

Man in suit with white shirt at a formal event
Man in suit with white shirt at a formal event

Armie denied all the allegations but was still dropped by his agency, WME, and fired from all his TV and film projects in 2021. Only recently has The Social Network actor slowly attempted a comeback with his own podcast and the Western movie Frontier Crucible on the horizon.

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On Monday's episode of The Armie HammerTime Podcast, Armie revealed to mental health coach Dani Druz that he hooked up with a man once, which did "absolutely nothing" for him. "I tried hooking up with a dude one time, and it was hilarious," he said.

A person in a black shirt and cap sits at a table, hands clasped, with a thoughtful expression. A water bottle and small plant are visible nearby
A person in a black shirt and cap sits at a table, hands clasped, with a thoughtful expression. A water bottle and small plant are visible nearby

"I was like, women are the worst," Armie continued. "Gay dudes seem to have it so easy. Like, so easy."

Man in casual black shirt and cap gestures expressively while speaking during an interview, with a plant and water bottle in the background
Man in casual black shirt and cap gestures expressively while speaking during an interview, with a plant and water bottle in the background

"I'm at a restaurant, my phone blows up, and it's, like, Grindr and someone else is like, 'I'm at the same restaurant. Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom?' And you're like, 'Hey, guys. I'll be back in five minutes,'" he said.

Person in a cap and T-shirt gesturing with hands in a casual indoor setting with plants and a bottle visible in the background
Person in a cap and T-shirt gesturing with hands in a casual indoor setting with plants and a bottle visible in the background

"And then you get up and you go to the bathroom, you get a blowjob, and you come back, and they're like, 'What was that?' And you're like, 'I don't know, some guy just sucked my dick. I don't know. I didn't get his name. Anyway, what'd you order?'"

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"So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna give this a try...maybe this actually works for me," Armie explained to Dani.

Two people sitting in a casual living room setting, engaged in conversation, one wearing a hat and casual attire, the other in a chic outfit and boots
Two people sitting in a casual living room setting, engaged in conversation, one wearing a hat and casual attire, the other in a chic outfit and boots

He had met a "handsome, French" man.

"I was like, Okay, this could work. This could work. Let's try this," Armie said. "I remember I started making out with him. And I just remember being like, 'God, beards. I get why women like it when you shave. This thing is fucking rough.'"

Man in casual black T-shirt and hat, speaking animatedly with expressive hand gestures in a relaxed setting
Man in casual black T-shirt and hat, speaking animatedly with expressive hand gestures in a relaxed setting

"I put my arms around him, and I was like, oh my god," Armie continued. "And these shoulders are so wide. He's so big. Like, he's almost my height. Like, this is so strange."

Man in black T-shirt and cap gesturing expressively while seated indoors. Plants and a water bottle visible in the background
Man in black T-shirt and cap gesturing expressively while seated indoors. Plants and a water bottle visible in the background

"And it did, physically, for me, absolutely nothing. Not even a twitch... And then I remember, like, we were, like, making out, and it was kinda getting hotter and heavier. But I was, like, going through the motions...he reached for my dick, and I was like, 'You're not gonna touch my flaccid penis. This is not going to happen. I'm sorry.'"

Man in a black t-shirt and cap, sitting indoors, gesturing with his hands
Man in a black t-shirt and cap, sitting indoors, gesturing with his hands

So, based on Armie's story, are broad shoulders and a beard absolute deal breakers? But is being French okay? Hmmm...that tracks.

Two people smile as they hand each other a large wooden object by the seaside, dressed in casual summer clothing
Two people smile as they hand each other a large wooden object by the seaside, dressed in casual summer clothing

In my honest opinion, Armie's revelation would be more shocking if only he wasn't telling a story that is so tragically true of the dating world between sexually curious men.

Person sitting on a stone bench by trees, wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, casually relaxed outdoors
Person sitting on a stone bench by trees, wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, casually relaxed outdoors

Believe it or not, this is only a few minutes of a 2-hour podcast episode. If you're brave enough, you can watch the full episode here.

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here. 

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