Angie Kent tells MAFS’ Brent to ‘slide into my DMs’

Angie Kent is Yahoo Lifestyle's MAFS 2022 columnist! Angie won't hold back on her spicy opinions and insider insights into everything on the controversial reality show.

Angie Kent recaps all the drama from the second last week of MAFS. Photo: Instagram/AngieKent
Angie Kent recaps all the drama from the second last week of MAFS. Photo: Instagram/AngieKent

Ok it’s final vows time! PSA, I am currently surfing the crimson wave and if you don’t like petty then I suggest you get your runners out and jog on because this is about to get messy.

Totally kidding, because this week was like watching grass grow so there’s not a whole lot to say. I am living for the reunion and then we will be back full throttle Charlie’s Angels style.

We will be dabbling in the final vows and also chit chatting about the potential futures of our graduates of MAFS 2022.

Let's touch on who stayed with who and who knew better and bailed.

Surprise, surprise

Olivia and Jackson: So obvious that they would stay together. The fact that the editing team and execs would even try to think we are more stupid than what we are (it works, they do it to us every episode and we fall for it) is offensive.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Olivia and Jackson decided to stay together. Photo: Nine
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Olivia and Jackson decided to stay together. Photo: Nine

Jackson knows her behaviour, he has lived with her for two months. So let's not pretend for a second that he could leave her now. He eats it right up, He’s the enabling king of this season.

They’re together, they love each other and I hope they have a lovely jubbly life together. Seriously, I do. Two people that are that unaware should probably stick together.

I do hope that Olivia is doing ok. Now the show is done, let's leave her and her dross with the end of this show. No one deserves this much hate from a horrendous reality TV show.

I am not taking away from her cruel behaviour but we have all called her out. It is done now. She ain’t running our country, so let's focus and direct our hate on that situation, not some girl we watched for the last two months.

Now for my crystal ball premonition for their relationship: Jackson and Olivia will reach out to companies for honeymoon themed holidays and take cute photos for the gram, making us feel like we were all wrong about their relationship and trying make us live vicariously through them.

Been there, got the T-shirt. But behind closed doors it’s CHAOS with a capital C.

Moving on….

'Livin for it'

Brent and Tamara: The mike drop vow ceremony we absolutely knew we needed. It’s almost as if he stayed this long not because she was hot but purely so he could do that speech.

Brent finally dropped the mic and walked away. Photo: Nine
Brent finally dropped the mic and walked away. Photo: Nine

Also little side note - with any kind of speech moment in reality TV, you have time to prepare that speech and practice it over and over. So don’t think he just did that once. Thinking of him reenacting that 32 times lives rent free in my head. He had ample amount of time to change his mind and he didn’t. Livin for it.

Crystal ball moment: Tamara will continue to take any television opportunity, AKA appear in Geordie Shore situations where she tashes on with D-Grade celebs.

Now to Brent, he will start an OnlyFans foot fetish account as he low-key loves footskers more than the next person.

Also, Brent and Ella will end up together and I want to watch this more than I should. If they don’t, Iow key wouldn’t be cross if he slid into my DMs asking for a foot pic. I have the ugliest feet in Australia and would like a feature on his OF account. Well groomed feet content only PLZ.

Cody and Selina: Sad one. I wanted her to leave but she didn’t.

I hope he sorts his absolute shit out and gives this queen what she deserves or that she ends up knowing her worth and bails.

Until then, Cody will deck his place out in excellently priced furniture through a social deal. Coming from one klutz to another, use the two hand rule whilst carrying delicious vintage cutlery, and for the love of god, buy Selina’s queen of a mother a new tea set. That’s the very least you could do.

MAFS in Paradise spinoff

Mitch and Ella: He couldn’t even do the bare minimum and give her an answer. Am I surprised? No. Am I cross….YEP!

If there was ever a MAFS in Paradise, Mitch would be there front and centre. If gaslighting was a sport, he’d be the captain of the squad. On MAFS in Paradise, he could have an array of women where he could throw out sayings like ‘it sounds like a you problem, not a me problem’… and also my all time fave 'ARE YOU WIGGIN BRUH?'

I see a cheeky food delivery service insty deal with a side of protein powder and if he’s extra lucky… free veneers! Yay.

Ella, our sweet sweet beezee Ella. I wish you nothing but love and light and hope you and our queen Dom are hanging out more often than not, and living your very best queen lives!

Our queen Ella deserves so much more. Photo: Nine
Our queen Ella deserves so much more. Photo: Nine

Our king and queen

Which brings me to Dom and Jack. Our king and queen of MAFS 2022.

I hope they get married and have bulk babies and a farm filled with dogs. I heard they are no longer together which makes my heart sore, but also could see that coming as they are the true best friend goals we love to see from this season.

Relationships don’t always have to be romantic. We love to see a solid relationship, whatever that may look like, come out of this shit show.

Dom has Martha K potential with her audience success. But if I can offer one piece of advice to our class of MAFS 2022, please do not use racial slurs casually whilst rapping along with our favourite jams. It’s 2022, we know better.

My crystal ball sees Celeb Apprentice for Dom and a really cute wine glass collaboration. I'll tell ya what, I will buy them all and get the tattoo.

Dom and Jack are friendship goals. Photo: Nine
Dom and Jack are friendship goals. Photo: Nine

Jack will go back to his pre MAFS mayhem existence and just live out his actual best low-key life with attention from the media he doesn’t care for.

I hope they all enjoy the blue tick status they worked over time for and that their hearts are happy.

Only two more episodes to go I believe, where we will lose all of our shit to see who is still together who isn’t. And of course, who is doing the absolute most to stay relevant so they can go to every single opening of every single event and live their best Instagram influencer life. I will leave my final opinions until after the last episode.

In the words of of Brent… Good luck and good riddance (but not really, see ya next week).

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