Yahoo Lifestyle How Allison Holker Tapped Into Fitness And Self-Care To Heal From Her Husband’s Death
After the sudden loss of her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, to suicide in 2022, Allison Holker found strength and resilience in many places. Her family, faith, and daily self-care rituals remained guiding lights through her grief, but one thing she struggled to reconnect with in the months following the tragedy was movement. “For me, movement has just always been a safe zone,” Allison tells WH. “As a dancer, it has always been a pivotal part of me releasing energy physically, storytelling, being able to express myself.”
In a candid convo with WH, the mother and So You Think You Can Dance all-star—now returning to the show as a judge—opens up about her journey to reclaim her passion for moving her body. She discusses the impact that exercise and mindfulness have had on her mental health, sharing the “non-negotiables” she relies on to cope with the grief and show up for herself and her loved ones during the most challenging time of her life.
After months of not moving her body, Allison leaned into yoga as a physical and emotional release.
In the months following her husband’s sudden death, Allison’s typically active lifestyle was paralyzed by grief. It was her best friend, Bobby Newberry, who gently nudged her back into motion with an invite to an impromptu CorePower Yoga Sculpt class. “I was actually very hesitant and nervous,” she says. “I really was, because I hadn't moved my body in a long time. It had been months.” (Allison went on to partner with CorePower as an ambassador to raise awareness about mental health tools like yoga.)
Despite her reluctance, she showed up. With Beyoncé blasting and laughter echoing through the studio, a rush of physical and emotional catharsis that she wasn’t expecting in such a public setting flooded her system. Surrounded by a group of sweaty strangers vinyasa-ing their heart rates up in a 90°F room, she found solace and support that resonated with her in a big way. “It was like I just needed that environment. And I didn't know how much I needed it,” Allison says. “It just became like this big party of celebration…it felt like we were in Ibiza.”
Yoga acted as an outlet similar to dance for Allison, allowing her to release pent-up emotions and connect with a broader community. “I love that [yoga] meets all three entities for me: the physical, the mental, and the spiritual, all in one.” A consistent yoga practice has served as more than a physical escape for Allison; it became a primary source of healing. “After everything, when I started moving again, I started going three times a week,” she says. “Yoga was there for me.”
She committed to cold plunging and other self-care practices.
Maintaining a morning routine has been crucial for Allison throughout her mental health journey. This includes making her morning cup of coffee, enjoying some personal time before her children wake up, reciting affirmations aloud, and cold plunging in her backyard for five minutes every morning while taking in the sunrise, greenery, and early morning birdsong. “[Cold plunging] just starts my day from a place of, ‘I can do the hard things, I can make it.’ It centers me–it's my meditation–it centers my mind,” she says. To wind down in the evening, she also tries to hit the sauna about three times per week.
Allison explains that starting and ending her days with these practices has made major contributions to her mental wellbeing. Complementing her fitness routine, these habits help her stay physically aware and grounded, which she finds absolutely key to feeling balanced. “I call these my non-negotiables, and everyone knows I do it. It's in my schedule and I'm dedicated to it,” she says. Even on her toughest days, these daily rituals kept her moving forward. “I think it's been something that's really helped me in every aspect of my life, and I don't see myself ever letting go of these things that are so crucial to me.”
Her commitment to self-care has even influenced her three kiddos. “I teach it to my children, they now do some of it and they love it.” She credits these habits when it comes to where her mental health is today, pointing out how self-care rituals have created the space and mindfulness needed to consistently check in with herself.
In Allison’s mission toward self-love, church and community are paramount.
Although she had always attended church, she discovered a different kind of relationship with her spirituality in the wake of her husband’s passing. “Before, it was fun—it was nice—I met up with my friends,” she says. “Now, it's more of a necessary component for my survival.” The vulnerability and honesty she shares with her community bring out her most authentic self, a facet of her faith she finds profoundly beautiful.
Leaning on her community for support during dark times has been a tough lesson for Allison. “I’m used to taking care of everyone else around me first,” she admits. “And then I’d just say, I’ll [take care of me] next week.” This period of grief has taught her the importance of relying on others and speaking up about her needs to keep her mental health in check. Whether it’s asking someone to watch her kids so she can work out or simply taking time for herself, Allison emphasizes, “Lean on your people. Let them help you so you can take care of yourself first and foremost … It's like what they say on flights, to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you put on someone else’s. Take care of yourself first.”
As she continues to navigate the winding road that is grief, Allison hopes to advocate for others to find their paths to healing through the power of movement and self-care. “I would love to tell people to reach out to a therapist if they’re low, to talk to a friend if they’re low. But sometimes people are scared to use their words. So, then move your body.”
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