The 50 Best 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Quotes

Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice

The ladies from The Real Housewives of New Jersey are not shy about sharing their opinions or dropping sassy comments, which means the best quotes from the Jersey-set Bravo series are plentiful.

And in the grand pantheon of quotable moments and iconic catchphrases from The Real Housewives franchise, the Garden State gals reign supreme, thanks to the quick wit, strong will and brassy attitudes of both current cast members like Teresa Giudice, Dolores Catania and Melissa Gorga, and former stars like Caroline Manzo, Danielle Staub and Jacqueline Laurita. Even newcomers like Rachel Fuda and Danielle Cabral are very comfortable throwing around a heated verbal jab during an argument or a funny one-liner in the middle of a party.

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From wisecracks to war cries to genuinely wise words, here are the 50 best quotes from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Best quotes from The Real Housewives of New Jersey

1. “This girl is obsessed with me, I don’t know if she wants to be me, or skin me and wear me like last year’s Versace”
— Dina Manzo (Season 1, Episode 2)

2. “Prostitution whore! You were f--king engaged 19 times! You f--king stupid bitch!”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 1, Episode 6)

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3. “Pay attention, puh-lease!”
— Danielle Staub (Season 1, Episode 6)

4. "I sat at home alone, throwing up, with diarrhea for three weeks, because of you!”
— Danielle Staub (Season 1, Episode 6)

5. "She certainly didn't look like she just pushed out a watermelon out of her chuckarella."
— Dina Manzo (Season 2, Episode 4)

6. "At the last minute I was packing my makeup case and jewelry. You know, last minute things if you're going to go to the hospital."
— Teresa Giudice (Season 2, Episode 4)

7. “A punk is a punk is a punk, and it looks like the Manzos are punks.”
— Danny Provenzano (Season 2, Episode 5)

8. “Is b-tch better?”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 2, Episode 9)

9. “Love and light! Stay in the positive, b-tch!”
— Ashlee Holmes (Season 2, Episode 10)

10. "I'm from Paterson, did you forget!?"
— Teresa Giudice (Season 2, Episode 10)

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11. "You and your three friends coming in arm and arm like a busted-up Sex and the City."
— Jaqueline Laurita (Season 2, Episode 11)

12. “The only thing I regret about that night was pushing Kim G., because she is an older woman, and I do respect the elderly.”
— Jaqueline Laurita (Season 2, Episode 11)

13. “Let me tell you something about my family. We’re as thick as thieves and we protect each other ’til the end."
— Caroline Manzo (Season 2, Episode 16)

14. "Here’s a little message for Teresa: My kids wore lace and crinoline at that age. My dogs wore leopard. Just a message.”
— Danielle Staub (Season 2, Episode 16)

15. “When I called you garbage, I meant that you were garbage.” 
— Caroline Manzo (Season 2, Episode 16)

16. "Do not bring up my family!"
— Teresa Giudice (Season 2 Reunion)

17. “She brought me sprinkle cookies. I said to her, 'Melissa, nobody touched the cookies you brought. I threw them in the garbage!”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 3, Episode 4)

18. “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wench like me!”
— Melissa Gorga (Season 3, Episode 5)

19. “Gimme pizza, you old troll”
— Milania Giudice (Season 3, Episode 12)

20. “Wakin’ up in the morning, thinkin’ bout so many things”
— Gia Giudice (Season 3, Episode 16)

21. “He wasn’t calling you a raccoon face, he was talking about Kathy!”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 3 Reunion)

22. “I feel like I'm getting dumber as the minutes go on. I am in a whirlwind of stupid”
— Caroline Manzo (Season 3 Reunion)

23. “I’m relaxed. I'm calm and cool like a whistle.”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 3 Reunion)

24. "You're not a cooker, you're a hooker"
— Milania Giudice (Season 4, Episode 2)

25. “She’s like Hekyll and Jive”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 4, Episode 8)

26. “Here she comes, my b-tch wife”
— Joe Giudice (Season 4, Episode 16)

27. “What does napalm mean? Spell it.”
— Lauren Manzo (Season 4 Reunion)

28. “She better watch her f--king tongue, because I’ll cut it right the f--k out!”
— Rosie Pierri (Season 4 Reunion)

29. "You and your Christmas pageant dress, sit down and shut the f--k up!"
— Caroline Manzo (Season 4 Reunion)

30. "You have three rolls: blubber, blubber, and blubber.”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 4 Reunion)

31. “A woman only needs two things: Dunkin' Donuts and oral sex.”
— Nicole Napolitano (Season 6, Episode 1)

32. “I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I buy shoes.”
— Dina Manzo (Season 6, Episode 4)

33. "The twins are starting to grow on me. They are just a big ball of arms, hair, and t-ts."
— Dina Manzo (Season 6, Episode 15)

34. "How do you spell b-tch? K.A.T.H.Y."
— Teresa Giudice (Season 6, Episode 15)

35. "Karma’s a b-tch, really. Clink, clink. Empires fall.”
— Teresa Aprea (Season 6 Reunion)

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36. "I learned once you walk away from something, remember why you did."
— Dina Manzo (Season 6 Reunion)

37. "Next time I want somebody to dance on my grave, I know who to call."
— Teresa Giudice (Season 6 Reunion)

38. "Joe tweets about once a year and it's usually a picture of himself." 
— Melissa Gorga (Season 6 Reunion)

39. “Welcome back, scumbag!”
— Dolores Catania (Season 8, Episode 4)

40. “You know what Posche stands for? Piece Of Sh-t Coke-whore Homewrecker Everyday”
— Teresa Giudice (Season 8, Episode 9)

41. “What is this, country music? What a f--king snore!”
— Jennifer Aydin (Season 9, Episode 4)

42. “If you could control your husband, do you think he’d be in prison now?”
— Jackie Goldschneider (Season 9, Episode 5)

43. "Your f--king lipliner, why don’t you fix it?...Looks like a monkey’s a--hole!”
— Margaret Josephs (Season 9, Episode 12)

44. “That’s why your husband sleeps in the f--king pool house”
— Margaret Josephs (Season 9, Episode 13)

45. “If I f--king throw a glass you're going to know it, sweetheart!”
— Jennifer Aydin (Season 9, Episode 13)

46. “Your husband’s in the pool.”
— Margaret Josephs (Season 9, Episode 15)

47. "What's your problem, trout mouth?"
— Danielle Staub (Season 10, Episode 8)

48. “Who are you kidding? She's not gonna have a baby, she’s too self-absorbed.”
— Jennifer Aydin (Season 10 Reunion)

49. “I’m gonna f--king blow my casket!"
— Teresa Giudice (Season 11, Episode 3)

50. "Did you get that confidence in jail?"
— Jackie Goldschneider (Season 11, Episode 6)

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