Sex and relationship therapists have to deal with all sorts of questions and requests on a daily basis.
Whether they are seeing couples or individuals, they are there to help tackle relationship woes or problems in the bedroom.
So, what are some of the most common questions they get asked?
From questions about orgasms, affairs, and basic sex ed, Womanizer sexpert and relationship therapist Pamela Supple has revealed some of the things she deals with the most in her line of work.
Am I normal?
“I have people asking is it alright to not like certain aspect of sex,” Pamela tells Be. “For example I don’t like giving head, I don’t like going down on my girlfriend is this normal? Is my genital size and shape normal?”
Pamela says most people when it comes to their sexual connections and sexual orientation, have some doubts about whether they are normal.
“A lot of information about what to do or not do sexually is quite often gained from pop culture or others,” she tells us. “Everyone has doubts and questions regarding themselves and their relationships.
“But when people are being coerced, bullied or made to feel bad about certain aspects and abilities when it comes to sex and sexual connections, they often aren’t sure where to go for assistance. Sex-positive therapists will definitely help you with this.”
Why can’t I keep an erection?
Not being able to keep and maintain an erection is another common question Pamela gets from male clients.
“Quite often it is the result of performance anxiety and the fear of not being able to keep an erection long enough for sexual intercourse and different sexual encounters,” Pamela explains.
“I will generally go through a person’s sexual history and ascertain whether or not their physical or mental health is having an impact on them, along with alcohol, smoking, other drugs and medications.”
Relationship dynamics, age, plus no sexual connection, not being attracted to them anymore, psychological reasons are also reasons for erectile dysfunction.
Have I had and orgasm?
“I often see women who have never experienced an orgasm or have come close, and want to know how to achieve this for themselves,” Pamela reveals.
The therapist says many women experience sensations are aren’t actually sure if they have actually had an orgasm. This is where sex education and understanding anatomy comes into play.
“Learning the stages of women’s orgasms and educating them around receiving sexual stimulation is the first step,” Pamela says.
Then, Pamela explains, it’s about understanding your erotic mindset, giving yourself permission to experience sexual pleasure, if you are comfortable with this, and potentially including the use of female pleasure products.
How do we recover from infidelity? And what do we do?
As a therapist Pamela sees many couples asking how to recover and come back together after an affair or break in trust. “These days this can often do with texting or social media connections,” she says.
Pamela will also help with relationship wellbeing, disagreements, and the management of these issues. “Many clients will ask for advice for if they decide to separate, ‘how can we do this amicably’ and ‘can this be done’?”
Do you teach sex education?
Pamela says she also often assists with sex education – for singles, couples, and virgins, different cultural, religious and spiritual beliefs.
“I try to help with sexual health concerns, or exploring alternative sexual and relational lifestyles and wellbeing,” Pamela tells us.
“Differences in libido and what may be causing drops in libido or higher libidos and how to manage this, are also common discussion points.”
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