$33 for 12 rolls of toilet paper: The Birkin bag of TP has arrived to solve a nonexistent personal health problem

On April Fools' Day, Lauryn Bosstick, the wellness influencer behind the blog and podcast The Skinny Confidential, launched luxury toilet paper. Made of bamboo, the TP is embossed with the lifestyle company’s logo, individually wrapped in pink paper and comes in a pack of 12 for $33. It’s marketed as “nontoxic,” health-conscious and a better choice for families. It’s no joke — and right on brand for Bosstick, whose product line, which includes mouth tape and caffeinated sunscreen, is made to help people “micromanage” their routines for the sake of self-care and ultimate wellness.

The “Birkin bag” of toilet paper isn’t the first “better-for-you” product in this category: There’s Who Gives a Crap, Tushy & More, Reel, ecoHiny and Betterway, to name a few. And the TP market is expected to keep growing too. Research shows that disposable tissue products in homes will reach a valuation of $72.2 billion over the next 10 years, with a big emphasis placed on sustainable and biodegradable products, including those that are chlorine-free and unbleached. This raises the question: Should we be paying more attention to what we wipe with for our health's sake? According to experts, the real problem here is that there’s no problem at all.

First off: Is toilet paper toxic?

The Skinny Confidential’s main selling point is that the product, beyond its beautiful packaging, is free of formaldehyde, chlorine dioxide, dyes, dioxins, PFAs, BPA and fragrances. The message to customers is this: traditional toilet papers like Angel Soft, Charmin and others contain these chemicals, and continued use has health implications. Jamie Alan, an associate professor of pharmacology and toxicology at Michigan State University, tells Yahoo Life that the ingredients used in conventional toilet paper are of very little concern (if any at all).

Let’s break it down:

• Chlorine dioxide, which is used to make toilet paper appear white, likely isn’t coming into significant contact with the skin within the fully processed toilet paper roll, says Alan. According to the American Forest and Paper Association, the process prioritizes the protection of the environment and human health.

• Dioxins refer to a group of chemical compounds that can be a by-product of the bleaching process of pulp and paper. A study of high oral exposure to dioxins illustrates damage to the immune and reproductive systems, while the assessment of potential health risks from dermal exposure through toilet paper found that there is no significant risk. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) states that more than 90% of human exposure to dioxins is through eating animal fats from meat and fish.

• Bisphenol A (BPA) is a chemical used to produce plastics and resins. It’s been found in toilet paper, but Alan says that cumulative exposure through “water stored in a BPA bottle or microwaving your food in a bowl that has BPA is more concerning” than the little exposure you might get through toilet paper alone.

What about PFAs?

Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAs) are of growing concern after receiving the moniker “forever chemicals” due to the fact that they “don’t break down in any reasonable amount of time,” says Alan. Research suggests that high levels of certain PFAs may lead to adverse health effects, including increased risk of some cancers, interference with the body’s natural hormones and decreased fertility. However, the implication of their presence in toilet paper alone has been misinterpreted, according to Timothy Townsend, professor of environmental engineering sciences at the University of Florida in Gainesville.

Townsend led a study about PFAs in toilet paper that was widely covered by the media. But the point of the study, he tells Yahoo Life, was to identify toilet paper as a contributor to the significant amount of PFAs present in wastewater and landfills to inform better disposal methods that keep these chemicals out of public drinking water systems and soil — where they ultimately become a bigger threat to human health.

“We did not approach it at all from a health perspective,” says Townsend. “There was nothing in our results that I would have characterized toilet paper as toxic.”

A switch to alternate materials, like the 100% bamboo of Bosstick’s toilet paper and many other brands marketed as “PFA-free” and “nontoxic,” can help the effort to decrease the overall presence of PFAs and other environmental pollutants that pose health risks. But that isn’t guaranteed.

“Why not make a new product that I know for sure doesn't have any of these chemicals in there? Well, if it takes a lot more energy and resources and emits more harmful pollutants by making the material, then that might be a reason not to,” says Townsend. “It’s not always the simplest thing to just switch over. You really have to step back and think about the entire life cycle of material.”

Who is willing to buy it?

Whether it’s really “better for you,” better for the environment or not, Bosstick’s audience is ready and willing to buy into The Skinny Confidential toilet paper, according to Mariah Wellman, a communication professor at Michigan State University who studies wellness rhetoric and influencers. “So many of their followers are young people with disposable income who are interested in participating in the latest wellness trends as a sort of social signifier. Especially positioning the product as a subscription service with aesthetic packaging, they make it easy and attractive for those with disposable income to buy the product and be part of a new trend that feels exclusive and cutting-edge,” Wellman tells Yahoo Life. But it won’t be exclusive for long.

According to market research, Bosstick’s new product is a sign of what’s to come in the world of toilet paper. The projected growth in the industry is partially attributed to a higher awareness of hygiene post-COVID and increased interest in more sustainable options for household products. But there’s also a desire to have more premium options that offer a luxurious experience and feel while being easily accessible through online retailers for subscription-based doorstep delivery. Bosstick’s pink-packaged paper checks all the boxes.

The bottom line

Flush away any concerns, experts say, and wipe with what you want. “Saying you're going to protect your health by paying more for toilet paper is a little bit ludicrous to me,” says Alan. “You should spend that money on the medications that you need or some vegetables or good shoes to take a walk in.”

Or maybe even invest in a bidet.