Yahoo Lifestyle 29 Tweets By Women This Month That'll Have You Chortling All The Way To The End Of September
September is rapidly drawing to a close, and all I've been able to think or talk about this month is #MomTok.
now every time something mildly annoying happens i mumble ‘will momtok even survive this?’
— jamie loftus 🌭 (@jamieloftusHELP) September 17, 2024
But September has also been a month of hysterical tweets by women, so here are 29 of the best:
*Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
when you can’t remember if you took your meds so you start opening the pill bottle to see if the experience feels familiar enough to have happened recently
— latke (@latkedelrey) September 17, 2024
2.
of course therapy didn’t work for you, you’re a liar
— g (@giselanicee) September 18, 2024
3.
explaining to my daughter that mommy is an alto 2 and a lot of these disney songs and nursery rhymes are not in my exquisite range
— am rod (@arod_twit) September 17, 2024
4.
when i’m president, i will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) September 17, 2024
5.
… and for my next trick, I will worry about 20 different things at the same time.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) September 17, 2024
6.
i could never be hannah montana because i would take one hit of a joint at a party, turn to the person closest to me, and immediately go “i neeeeeeed to tell u something”
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) September 18, 2024
7.
Every day I wake up and there’s something else that I really wanna buy that’s $120
— Caroline (@weirdassfishes) September 17, 2024
8.
are Gap and Old Navy actually “really making some super cute things these days” or am I just old now
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) September 17, 2024
9.
Highkey love women who use a lot of explanation points in their work emails. Like yes ma’am let me know you’re friendly and a little anxious!
— Danielle✨ (@folksyswift) September 17, 2024
10.
JD Vance won’t see your mean tweets about what a stupid little racist freak he is unless we really put our backs into it cmon guys we can do this
— alice hamilton (@AliceRHamilton) September 16, 2024
11.
i have been nothing but distant and hard to read and this is how you treat me
— b (@rosenstein_) September 11, 2024
12.
I never wash my makeup off before bed. I'm seasoning my face like a cast iron skillet.
— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) September 17, 2024
13.
Why does this dog look like Dorit pic.twitter.com/pfhUTQq4G0
— 💍Prostitution Whore💍 (@Pr0sttti0nWh0re) September 13, 2024
14.
jd vance looks like if leonardo dicaprio had a real life (fraternal!!) twin that they locked away in a dungeon wearing an iron mask for decades because he was botched (physically, spiritually, mentally)…. and now they’ve let him loose
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 15, 2024
15.
take me down to the Roku city where the grass is purple and everything else is also purple
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) September 18, 2024
16.
Mad as hell to report that reading a paperback book the hour before bed instead of scrolling on my phone has significantly improved my sleep quality.
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) September 18, 2024
17.
She's a ten but it's short for tense
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) September 19, 2024
18.
being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like new jersey
— reversecowgirl69 (@botticellibimbo) September 18, 2024
19.
Spotify opened at work and I forgot my air pods at home and Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (1941) began to play on max volume I'd rather it have been porn they're calling me Gladys
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) September 18, 2024
20.
Tame Impala was right. The less I know, the better
— cyndi (@_cyyndaquil) September 17, 2024
21.
all women date other women without knowing it because men rip off their entire personalities from women they date. so falling in love with a man means you’re actually falling in love with the women he dated before you
— Youngmi MAYER 💜 (@ymmayer) September 1, 2024
22.
Love when the cashier at TJ Maxx is ringing up my $900 worth of items and asks "Did you find everything you were looking for?" as if I didn't just randomly wander in here off the street
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) September 19, 2024
23.
You guys aren’t gonna believe this https://t.co/FU7z8dUSgf
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) September 17, 2024
24.
i love that robert pattinson is the best actor of his time but also clearly possessed by the spirit of a lobotomized court jester from 1340's austria. duality!
— hot girl midsommar (@verymimi) September 18, 2024
25.
anyone else’s big brother text them like an unwilling roadman situationship pic.twitter.com/Wmz5PSXzRj
— paisley. ⊹ (@danstille) September 18, 2024
26.
Getting sleepy on the couch so I’m going to bed to be wide awake scrolling my phone for 4 more hours
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 19, 2024
27.
honestly sometimes when my computer fan goes on i’m embarrassed for it, like why are you getting so flustered honey it’s just a png
— Dani Balenson (@dlbee_) September 18, 2024
28.
Father John misty occupies such a funny place in music because I think he’s a genius but so does my cousin in finance
— kelly (@kelly_erin_) September 18, 2024
29.
Being inside of a Uniqlo will put you in a trancelike state where you suddenly need 10 different colored pairs of socks and something called “Airism Wireless Technology Crossover Bra Top”
— pris (@pwiscila) September 17, 2024
Again, make sure to follow these ladies on Twitter!!! You won't regret it.
