Yahoo Lifestyle I'm Dying Of Laughter At The 141 Wildly Unfiltered Things People Posted On The Internet This Year So Far
Somehow, we've only got about four months left in 2024 😳. On the bright side, there have been countless viral jokes on the internet this year so far, so please distract yourself from the passage of time with these great tweets:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh to make your Twitter feed even better!
1.
it’s so funny to want a masters degree. like relax
— charlie (@BUNNlCULA) July 1, 2024
2.
“Can you explain the gap in your resume?”“Sure are you familiar with not getting jobs?”
— Cara (@carawithac13) July 9, 2024
3.
cancelled my therapy session to go meet the reason hahaha
— alya (@_alialialialia) July 11, 2024
4.
Why is everyone okay with the way “Siobhan” is pronounced?
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) July 1, 2024
5.
going to the bathroom at 3am using a middle school classmate’s linkedin profile as a flashlight
— ๓๖๕ (@thaifaggot) July 3, 2024
6.
Put on your slutty dress babe, we're going to Chili's
— Suugah Boogah (@N_Doemostmuted) July 6, 2024
7.
A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.
— mahrukh (@parhloumahrukh) July 7, 2024
8.
i can’t take acid with ugly people i’ll start screaming
— J 🦨 (@yeezzuschrist) July 10, 2024
9.
Me: I hate this escape room.Mom: Stop calling the family reunion that.
— Funny Snarky Humor (@FUNNYsnarkyJOKE) July 10, 2024
10.
— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) July 9, 2024
11.
got so high I thought I knew someone named Ian
— erin (@ratsnotagain) July 11, 2024
12.
i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages
— ava! (@F41rygirl) July 21, 2024
13.
Not me https://t.co/q8NcufQWsM pic.twitter.com/R9vME8e27y
— Monica Geller (@Courtdulce_) July 25, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @Courtdulce_
14.
Reading in bed with the weed pen resting on the other pillow pic.twitter.com/IWFpJdgtpZ
— Owen (@miseblock) July 22, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @miseblock
15.
doctor: do you smoke or drinkme: yesdoctor: okme: are u mad at me
— cory (@coolmathgame_) July 18, 2024
16.
TSA asked me if the durag was religious I said Lowkey
— username (@wassupnword) July 20, 2024
17.
If I’m being honest I don’t even know my instagram password
— DESIRE (@iadoredezzie) July 28, 2024
18.
what is so realistic about sex and the city is her friends never read her little articles
— melissa lozada-oliva 🍴 (@ellomelissa) July 17, 2024
19.
Telling parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.
— mine? (@halalboozee) July 28, 2024
20.
i was arguing w this little girl on roblox cause she called me a dumb 12 year old so i told her im 25 why she say “girl go clock in” ok girl now im pissed
— 🧚🏼♀️ (@bbglyyss) July 29, 2024
21.
she call me apple the way I be in cider
— ka 🌟 (@k2ken0) July 26, 2024
22.
asking your manager to explain something for the second time pic.twitter.com/IxvZDmScpg
— clockniss evertea (@ConanGShore) July 25, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @ConanGShore
23.
Why did no one tell me you could go to jury duty dressed for a yoga class? Because my dumbass showed up like I’m on an episode of Scandal.
— Jessica Marie Garcia (@JessMarieGarcia) July 29, 2024
24.
“And who is your primary care doctor” three different urgent cares in a trench coat, babe
— Subsistence Content Farmer (@brnzageprolapse) July 28, 2024
25.
Being around ur parents is like damn im emotionally traumatized but im eating so good rn
— 𓃖 (@conchspell) June 3, 2024
26.
you’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house
— shar (@sharloola) July 24, 2024
27.
my little brother has his google docs up on his tv bc he’s writing a short story and i just went wow you are brave i could never have my writing up like that and he just went “well im not writing gay fanfiction” in front of both our parents pic.twitter.com/MnVHVLt4ON
— t.j. (@eddiespresso) July 19, 2024
Crazy Legs Television / Twitter: @eddiespresso
28.
THEY LAUGHED AT ME FOR BRINGING TUMS TO THE CLUB BUT GUESS WHAT NOW THEYRE ALL ASKING ME FOR FUCKING TUMS IN THE CLUB
— chartreuse wahoo (@chartreusewahoo) July 20, 2024
29.
Me looking at what's about to turn into a missed call. pic.twitter.com/tyAXkOOHZn
— tido bling (@its_tiidoo) June 8, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @its_tiidoo
30.
human eyes are not meant to see a naked body wearing an apple watch
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) June 15, 2024
31.
the first fanfic writer to think “what if there was only one bed?” pic.twitter.com/MXoHdVfBrN
— °. ✧ 🍵emily🪷✧°. (@uhhmmily) June 6, 2024
Netflix / Twitter: @uhhmmily
32.
it’s nothing worst than accidentally becoming a important person at your job
— IG:(Jozujoestar) 🇵🇦 (@JozuJoestar) June 8, 2024
33.
Me after spitting on it and using both hands pic.twitter.com/yAYiKWsH9p
— Wicked Wiener (@MightBeMadison) June 13, 2024
34.
10? you were dumb https://t.co/CpksGZzfGv
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) June 7, 2024
Universal Pictures / Twitter: @skyler_higley
35.
Apple, if i unsend a message just let it be that. the whole announcement is crazy
— Heaven (@theheavenrenee) June 13, 2024
36.
i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said “wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?” and i said “okay” so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said “thats how much it would cost” and i said “okay”
— buck tooth cunt (@Royal_McPoyle) June 13, 2024
37.
Lamb is such a delectable meat, apologies to Mary and her little one.
— Obi-Wan Griernobi (@griergxsm) June 23, 2024
38.
being a new parent is so funny. the other night the baby woke up and his hands were cold so I googled “baby’s hands cold at night” and all the results were like “yeah sometimes babies’ hands get a little cold at night” I don’t know what I expected
— Daniel M. Lavery (@daniel_m_lavery) June 25, 2024
39.
Me n my man but I’m drunk he’s high pic.twitter.com/f6gvBOe0LR
— jo’s evil twin (@hellaundercover) June 23, 2024
TBS / Twitter: @hellaundercover
40.
Not to expose myself for being dumb—but the vet told me my dog had a spot that might be a melanoma and the first words out of my mouth were “oh that does run in our family.” Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
— Caitlin Canahai (@caitlincanahey) June 21, 2024
41.
she posted a selfie and i started applying for higher paying jobs i got an interview on monday
— michael (@FilledwithUrine) June 21, 2024
42.
'girlfriend of 9 yrs' ..... id actually rather be shot point blank in the face
— 🌷 (@animallover766) June 18, 2024
43.
This look like something you feed a pitbull on his birthday https://t.co/7OWk8QNrwH
— Austine (@theereal_one) June 18, 2024
44.
im scared to apply for jobs because what if they call me
— slavic bunny (@777bun__ny) June 17, 2024
45.
we can't all be underemployed creatives someone in the group chat needs to know what insurance is
— rishi (@rishipuff) June 25, 2024
46.
Saying your elementary school teachers thought you were gifted is like thinking strippers actually love you
— Frank J Ashtrays 🚬 (@FrankBlockToday) June 26, 2024
47.
if you eat dark chocolate just gone head and try doodoo
— kiana (@kianalajade) June 24, 2024
48.
Texting me "yo" is insane. Im a fucking lady not one of your boys
— Aliah (@Aa1iahk) June 25, 2024
49.
Why did I call a job asking if they're hiring and they said no we're firing LMFAOOOOOOO
— Naomi (@nomidrj) June 21, 2024
50.
i think about it all the time pic.twitter.com/q4V4d6SUWG
— tony (@tohneigh) June 19, 2024
51.
my grandmas in a situationship help…
— saan (@saaannvii) June 18, 2024
52.
“Can I be mean for a second” you’re mean all the time just talk
— sleepiest girl in the whole wide world (@v_dcknz) January 27, 2024
53.
— i am (@broken) January 29, 2024
54.
I love seeing art school kids struggle to hold their big ass drawings on their way to school. Hahaha. That's what you get for being gay.
— Mokosh (@pangpilled) January 29, 2024
55.
“how’s feb 14th looking” It’s looking like my rooms gonna sound like a barber shop
— d ☘︎ (@normalgirl53) January 15, 2024
56.
We’re both😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂watching a film😂😂😂😂😂we’ve BOTH never😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂seen😂😂😂BUT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂your asking me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂questionsss as if😂😂😂😂😂😂I’m the director😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂???😂😂😂
— ava! (@F41rygirl) January 12, 2024
57.
I LOVE smoking with paranoid bitches like yes girl they are coming but we are stronger!!!
— Personalius 4. Goldenwoman🍉 (@finallgirll) January 15, 2024
58.
White ppl be like i wouldn’t be opposed
— trevy (@chillextremist) January 12, 2024
59.
1st day as a poop coach. wish me luck! pic.twitter.com/3v8Ko63H1m
— Dr. Doug 🥼💊💉🧪 (@RaptorBreath) January 5, 2024
60.
Please stop letting Tesla owners be Uber drivers how the Fuck do I get out
— ash (@ANGELBABYBITTY) February 19, 2024
61.
I hope this email blows your back out
— tj (@trapfairyT8) February 23, 2024
62.
i physically cannot make a spotify playlist without adding every song i’ve ever liked. i’ll start one called “sad :(” and it’ll end up with temperature by sean paul on it
— chase (@_chase_____) February 23, 2024
63.
I just said “type shit” in a meeting man, smh who hiring
— DJ jawdin jetson (@DJJordanJetson) February 22, 2024
64.
told oomf i’m a people pleaser and he said “name three people that are actually pleased with you” pic.twitter.com/YDCCxzT55N
— c h r i s (@mych3micalswift) May 11, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @mych3micalswift
65.
Me: These drinks taste like juice Me an hour later pic.twitter.com/afGXUnaDzy
— Fredo (@FredoInDaCut995) February 24, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @FredoInDaCut995
66.
— Kani (@KaniRosi) February 25, 2024
67.
A married man just complained to me about how hard dating is for him these days pic.twitter.com/7Hrn6lu68k
— Nader (@NKinRealLife) February 13, 2024
Bravo / Twitter: @NKinRealLife
68.
whatever gets her into that therapist’s office https://t.co/rfARxXbwhT
— redacted (@aquariusdays) February 6, 2024
69.
“have you ever watched the godfather?” pic.twitter.com/d9U4H8rKX7
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) February 8, 2024
Bravo / Twitter: @bklynb4by
70.
she was my lab partner in organic chemistry. and she carried us https://t.co/S8eEa503pD
— megan (@chismosavirus) February 8, 2024
71.
“i’m just a boy” why my homegirl ain’t smile in months then
— Noor ✭ (@Noorthevirgo) March 16, 2024
72.
white people need to bring "booyah" back
— Rebecca (@femceldorito) March 17, 2024
73.
I had a dream i was at the club & this girl said “hey girl you don’t look nothing like your pictures on social media” i said what ??? and ran to the bathroom, i looked in the mirror why tf i was Steve Harvey 😭😫 i never ran out the club so fast crying wow.
— 𝕽ude Gyal Re 🩷 (@JealousOfRere) March 18, 2024
74.
Got my bidet all set up pic.twitter.com/Cqqp2VNVxm
— Ricky Knuckles (@TheRickDoofus) March 21, 2024
75.
Really resonating with this close friends post from last year pic.twitter.com/874AW3Vbs3
— Marisa (Normal Girl) (@VEINSVEINSVElNS) March 23, 2024
76.
Dudes that are 5’8” love saying “I’ll be there shortly” like yea man we know
— DeWitt B. Fartin (@DeWittBFartin) March 11, 2024
77.
(me with my alien) this is a chilis margarita you drink it
— chris (@citehchris) March 28, 2024
78.
That’s a suggestion ring, pls https://t.co/MeSauARgW0
— saddles. (@Chefsaddles) March 19, 2024
79.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS FOOD WITHOUT MY VIDEO ESSAY? pic.twitter.com/kiRBl9p2dF
— Paper Reecee TTYD (@Reecee_yt) March 21, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @Reecee_yt
80.
HE SAID YES (i asked if he was mad at me)
— redacted (@aquariusdays) March 21, 2024
81.
me preparing to drink strawberry lemonade pic.twitter.com/zbFQfjDMzB
— ponyboy✨ (@staygvlden) March 15, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @staygvlden
82.
girl i thought these was cinnamon bites, don’t make this shit again. https://t.co/ATKt1JiHTN
— AB (@CarelessAB) March 22, 2024
83.
Dudes will be like "You didn't deserve to be hurt like that.... you deserve to be hurt like THIS"
— Noor ✭ (@Noorthevirgo) March 11, 2024
84.
I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for detective” 😭😭
— OFFICIALGRACIE (@OfficialGracie) March 10, 2024
85.
the log truck driver in final destination 2 pic.twitter.com/kzbz286jZh
— shivers (@thecroakerqueen) March 7, 2024
Paramount Pictures / Twitter: @thecroakerqueen
86.
"you been pissin tonight, sir?"me asf: pic.twitter.com/210IkyqJVA
— celica! (@genderatio) March 18, 2024
Department of Transportation's National Highway Traffic Safety Administration / Twitter: @genderatio
87.
True Life: I Survived Telling My Friends I’m Not Coming Out Tonight pic.twitter.com/vSEciQxrUw
— 🤠 (@bblackgoldd) March 9, 2024
ABC / Twitter: @bblackgoldd
88.
how it feels like to fight the urge to DOORDASH pic.twitter.com/bhG9SZfFh9
— mira (@kissoffIife) March 12, 2024
Hulu / Twitter: @kissoffIife
89.
Yall: I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy Me: pic.twitter.com/qKXnbO5xZ2
— Kay (@KaylarWill) March 7, 2024
Disney / Twitter: @KaylarWill
90.
this is what going to the grocery store on the weekend feels like pic.twitter.com/U2BjMrwt6Q
— WiLL (@willfulchaos) March 9, 2024
91.
this comment on the inside out 2 poster is killing me pic.twitter.com/s25zdBCLfA
— isaiah’s #1 fan (me shoobie) (@soncadventure2) March 7, 2024
Disney / Twitter: @soncadventure2
92.
ppl hate zelle because they’d have to face the facts lmao
— 🐅 (@sweetsinting) March 3, 2024
93.
How about you develop some male pattern kindness
— Meth In June (@Meth_In_June) March 5, 2024
94.
MY BOYFRIEND YALL pic.twitter.com/xCoeiZaUwU
— rinzu (@MATCHALUV3R) March 13, 2024
95.
People that eat yogurt need to relax. Stop scraping the bottom 27 times. Its blueberry yogurt not crack.
— Vinyl Witch 🧙🏻 (@Aflgirl126) April 17, 2024
96.
Lmao why would the Amazon driver throw my package at my door. The delivery picture show the package still in the air 😂😂😂
— Brie 🪷 (@briellegenae) April 27, 2024
97.
I was fighting for my life pic.twitter.com/SToqSBAXdQ
— Kal 🐉 (@kaw1_) March 18, 2024
98.
“This year I really want to: Travel more”“Let’s debate this topic: Pineapple on pizza”“I’m weirdly attracted to: Men”“Biggest risk I’ve taken: _____ during the middle of a pandemic”“The best way to ask me out is by: Asking me out” pic.twitter.com/id5zZfbjHp
— john (@jmce95) April 17, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @jmce95
99.
100.
introduced my friend to a show and she started liking the wrong ship pic.twitter.com/ZyIV0ae2eW
— eva ⭑ 🎓 (@alliumhater) April 25, 2024
ABC / Twitter: @alliumhater
101.
be thinking i look mysterious af and my backpack be wide open
— kira minaj. (@kiratunechi) April 12, 2024
102.
My teen is taking the SAT today. As we were walking out the door, I asked her if she needed a special pencil. She looked at me and said We take it on computers. The air hung quiet between us. Oh I said. Huh I said. It’s the first year she added If it makes you feel any better.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) April 10, 2024
103.
me waking up the hamsters at the pet store pic.twitter.com/uMB4K1jSY2
— WiLL (@willfulchaos) April 22, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @willfulchaos
104.
105.
— Daisy Alioto (@daisandconfused) April 7, 2024
106.
Went on a date with an actor last thursday and he made me split bill… thought that strike was over pic.twitter.com/8mZ9duxHuQ
— Michael (@Mikemccarthaaay) April 21, 2024
Bravo / Twitter: @Mikemccarthaaay
107.
I be sitting at a bar thinking I look like a bad bitch whole time I’m hunching my back
— bex (@defnotbex) April 11, 2024
108.
no one:your unemployed friend at 4 PM on a tuesday: pic.twitter.com/k3Xc8hcCfk
— knx (@knoxdotmp3) April 15, 2024
Hanna-Barbera / Twitter: @knoxdotmp3
109.
the gays definitely had other priorities in 1945 https://t.co/ES5zrGRbKA
— samuele (@180_brat) April 14, 2024
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Twitter: @180_brat
110.
Baby they marry women they don’t like https://t.co/GuvbBN9VQD pic.twitter.com/6uwPtmEgug
— Grip Bayless💕 (@talleyberrybaby) April 1, 2024
OWN / Twitter: @talleyberrybaby
111.
“He doesn’t bite”Oh girl fuck you. Get this beast away from me
— ¡Tooveló! (@aaronic_t) April 6, 2024
112.
Just farted so loud in the barbershop they talm bout cut him next for he shit
— im not sorry (@alimnotshit) April 5, 2024
113.
i was talking to my psychiatrist when the earthquake hit but i didn’t want her to put me on antipsychotics so i just didn’t acknowledge it
— jess (@abolish_jess) April 5, 2024
114.
mcdonalds should have to say "Excellent choice sir" to whatever you order
— Max 🪻 (@ImSmilingRn) February 27, 2024
115.
the weed telling me to get scared pic.twitter.com/6eD1DMr8FH
— ryan 🌙 (@ryxn888) February 26, 2024
Netflix / Twitter: @ryxn888
116.
catholics every friday during lent pic.twitter.com/JmKXpcfGU9
— kim (@KimmyMonte) February 26, 2024
NBC / Twitter: @KimmyMonte
117.
6 year old me in the car thinking the moon is following me pic.twitter.com/Af0n9s4PFM
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) February 26, 2024
NBC / Twitter: @Whotfismick
118.
ex bf’s twin brother is my hinge most compatible pic.twitter.com/P0qndcMAK3
— casey anthony funko pop (@homeofsexuals) February 20, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @homeofsexuals
119.
Turn those ig likes back on baby we know you’re flopping and we love you for it !!!
— serena shahidi (@glamdemon2004) February 26, 2024
120.
“tHaNkS fOr YoUr pAyMeNt!”Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.
— krismadarame (@krismadarame) February 1, 2024
121.
god forbid i help sell hotdogs on the street https://t.co/CSD4hwSmMW
— raechel 🌟 (@raechelg_) February 10, 2024
122.
You ever think about how peaceful it must be inside the brain of a stupid person?
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) February 7, 2024
123.
by age 26 you should have fumbled your only chance at true happiness like 6 times
— andre (@warmmoistpizza) January 24, 2024
124.
i like being single but come on not everyday
— ‘ (@888haztyz) January 16, 2024
125.
Showing your barber a reference pic is so humiliating… “hey bro can you make me hot like him 🤭” like ok gay boy
— alxndr (@alexaldente) January 19, 2024
126.
“user not found” pic.twitter.com/jh3sh5ScUz
— tatyana 🧛♀️ (@heluvstat) January 22, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @heluvstat
127.
I had an apartment inspection 😭 pic.twitter.com/76RyI3VGYx
— 𝑻. 𝑮𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆 ᥫ᭡ 🌼 (@Locwittati) January 19, 2024
128.
ppl who have no playlists & just shuffle their liked songs folder are capable of murder
— ava! (@F41rygirl) January 21, 2024
129.
boyfriends are kinda like chew toys and if u bite hard enough they’ll squeak
— sab (@sabbyku) January 15, 2024
130.
I do not play about overstimulation I will punch you at a Zara 😭
— catalina (@fiImaker) January 13, 2024
131.
me at the pre when i realize we leave in 5 minutes and i've taken 2 sips pic.twitter.com/wnBDaJVqaB
— abby💋 (@messys1ut_) January 28, 2024
MTV / Twitter: @messys1ut_
132.
my dad and his gf broke up and she took the air fryer pic.twitter.com/EuwZCsv4lW
— bongo (@bongoism) January 24, 2024
AMC / Twitter: @bongoism
133.
wtf do i gotta do to get a bouquet of flowers? die? pic.twitter.com/RJryEX5eCk
— ً (@BALUCIAGA) January 28, 2024
Hulu / Twitter: @BALUCIAGA
134.
when people be in a relationship for 6+ years… like hurry up other people wanna date you
— alondra (@alondramaren) January 1, 2024
135.
i know things aren't very fergalicious right now bro but hang in there
— james ᐞ⟁ᐞ (@bootypillow) January 15, 2024
136.
when men put on those lil corset belts at the gym like okay diva!!
— bennie (@b_skross) January 11, 2024
137.
me when i say the word zeitgeist pic.twitter.com/S9n3b0FQVF
— tina fey folk (@amateuroracle) January 4, 2024
NBC / Twitter: @amateuroracle
138.
sorry i can’t hang out this weekend i have credit card debt
— clare (@sadderlizards) January 18, 2024
139.
big ears are so hot like yes dumbo what that trunk do
— aidan ꨄ︎ (@RottenPlumz) May 1, 2024
140.
idc who talks shit about me cuz i talk shit better and i’m funnier
— mia! (@miakanaiko) May 2, 2024
141.
said you wanted a brat summer and now look at you on antibiotics 😕
— someone left the cake out in the rain (@bjorksunibrow) July 6, 2024
