Yahoo Lifestyle 10 Signs Someone Is Constantly Thinking About You, According to Psychologists
Some people, like singer Ed Sheeran, think out loud. Others are a bit more discreet about their inner dialogues, making it challenging to determine whether or not you own a ton of real estate in someone else's head. However, they might drop clues like Taylor Swift drops Easter eggs. Channeling your inner Olivia Benson (the human, not Swift's cat) can prevent things from getting lost in translation.
"There are many reasons that it can be a good idea to know if someone is thinking of you. In the context of a meaningful relationship, it can make you feel loved, cared for, connected, safe and secure," says Dr. Susan Trotter, Ph.D., a relationship coach.
On the flip side, it can help you protect your physical and emotional peace.
"It can sometimes be too much, even in a special relationship," Dr. Trotter says. "In other situations, it may be good to know in case someone is overly obsessed with you, stalking you or has nefarious intentions."
Dr. Trotter and other psychologists shared signs that someone is constantly thinking of you, plus how to respond.
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10 Signs Someone Is Thinking of You, According to Psychologists
1. Frequent communication
Dr. Trotter says this one is the most telltale sign and often the most obvious. Communication styles may vary, but it's the frequency that matters.
"They may do so via text, email, social media, phone or in person," Dr. Trotter says. "In this situation, you will be very certain that they are thinking of you on a regular basis because they simply tell you over and over."
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2. The little things matter
You may also drop small hints about your interests, and the other person takes and runs with them.
"Someone who is constantly thinking about you will have interest in your life and follow up on this," says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with South County Psychiatry. "They will ask you questions and remember small details—like that job interview you have coming up, your child's school play or your recent doctor appointment."
Another psychologist agrees.
"This level of attention goes beyond mere politeness," says Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services. "It reflects genuine interest and thoughtfulness, indicating they often think about your conversations even after they've ended."
3. Anticipate your needs
You may not even have to ask for favors because this person is keyed into the small details you share about yourself.
"They may pick up your favorite food when they are at the grocery store," Dr. Trotter says. "They may also bring an umbrella if they’re picking you up in case it rains or set the thermostat to best suit your comfort level when you come over."
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4. They talk about you to other people
A person may not tell you they're constantly thinking about you, but the grapevine may be buzzing.
"If someone talks about you regularly to other people, you can assume that they are thinking about you regularly," Dr. Trotter says. "Friends or family may let you know that they often hear that person talking about you or asking questions about you."
5. You see them often (whether you have plans or not)
This one can be a positive or negative, depending on the context, the other person's approach and your thoughts about them.
"In the context of a good relationship, this may mean that they are always thinking of you and trying to be supportive," Dr. Trotter says."This behavior can also be disconcerting and could be interpreted as controlling or creepy, depending on the situation."
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6. Body language
Sometimes, people might lean into body language more than verbalize to reveal their thoughts.
"When around you, they might exhibit open and inviting gestures, such as leaning in, maintaining eye contact or facing you directly," Dr. Frank says. "These nonverbal cues are driven by an instinctive desire to connect and communicate interest, often stemming from thoughts centered around you."
7. Sharing is caring
Dr. Trotter says the person might center you in conversations, but they can also be eager to let you know what's happening in their world.
"They may subsequently call or message you often to say hello, share news, tell jokes and more," Dr. Trotter says. "It is definitely a sign that they are thinking of you a lot."
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8. Eagerness to make plans
A person constantly thinking of you may show up for an unplanned rendezvous, but they may also want to get you on their calendar—quite a bit.
"If you’re constantly on someone’s mind, they likely want to spend time with you too, and will frequently try to make plans with you," Dr. Trotter says.
9. Social media
While social media might not be "real life," it can provide significant clues you're on a person's mind (and high on their algorithm).
"If someone regularly responds to your social media posts, you are definitely on their radar and they are then definitely thinking about you regularly," Dr. Trotter says.
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10. Extra-special treatment
If you're always on a person's mind, chances are you are important to them. They may let you know with material things and experiences.
"They may do something special for you, plan a fun activity you would enjoy or give you small gifts to show that they have been thinking about you," Dr. Schiff says.
What To Do if Someone Is Constantly Thinking of You
1. Express mutual feelings
Your thoughts matter too. If they are mutual, you may feel loved and flattered. Let the person know.
"Experiencing the signs that they are thinking of you may make you feel more confident in expressing your interest in them too," Dr. Trotter says. "Doing so will positively reinforce their behavior, and they will continue to show you these signs."
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2. Set boundaries if needed
Dr. Trotter says you might let the person know directly or with similar gifts or acts of kindness.
However, constant thoughts about you aren't always welcome and can feel suffocating, whether you are interested in the person or not.
"This may happen when there is an imbalance of feelings in the relationship or an imbalance around the level of independence one prefers to have in a relationship," Dr. Trotter says. "Constantly thinking of someone and showing it may suggest some neediness that can be uncomfortable for some people."
In these cases, Dr. Trotter says it's important to let the person know and set boundaries.
3. Seek help
If someone struggles to listen to boundaries or is concerned for your safety, Dr. Trotter stresses that you should call for help.
"Alert authorities if it becomes a situation like stalking or there are threats involved," Dr. Trotter warns.
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Expert Sources
Dr. Susan Trotter, Ph.D., a relationship coach
Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with South County Psychiatry
Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services
