Yahoo Lifestyle Women Are Sharing The Most Inconsiderate Things Their Boyfriends And Husbands Have Ever Done, And I Want To Cry
We recently asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the most inconsiderate things their boyfriends or husbands have ever done. Their stories were genuinely devastating. Here's what they shared:
1."On Mother's Day, my boys were 2 and 4. My now ex-husband did not give me a gift or do anything special. He said, 'You're not my mother.'"
—Anonymous
2."When I went into labor at 4:00 a.m. with my first child, my husband, a research academician, screamed at me that I couldn't have the baby that day because he had to get a grant out. He had research assistants running in and out of our apartment from 7:00 a.m. Once the grant was ready to go, I was allowed to go to the hospital. Surprisingly, we are still together 40 years and two more children later, but I don't let him live it down."
—Anonymous
3."My husband went on a trip to the US. I asked him to buy me a pair of size 8 pants from Target and sent him pictures. He asked me if I was sure about the size or if I'd prefer that he bought me a size 6 so I would be motivated to work out and fit into them."
—Anonymous
4."This still makes me sad to think about. It was Valentine's Day, and we went out to a restaurant with two friends (who are a couple). My husband mostly conversed with the guy and did not give me any attention at all. I finally touched his arm and said, 'Hey, what about me?' He said, 'Oh, are you feeling needy today?' Then, some random lady came over and asked him to dance after I had asked him several times to dance with me, and he went and danced with her. He left me all alone at the table."
—Anonymous
5."My husband said he didn't have enough vacation time to take a short honeymoon after we got married. Instead, he used his time to go to a three-day bachelor party before the wedding. There was also the time he was going to a friend's weekend bachelor party three hours away. My car broke down shortly before the weekend, and instead of staying home so I would have a vehicle to get to work, take my kids to school/daycare, run errands, etc., he made me rent a car because he had already paid $200 for the weekend. I had to pay over $300 for the only rental available."
—Anonymous
6."I found out through an email that my mother was dying (I had no clue before this that anything was wrong). When I told my husband, he said, 'I'm sure she'll be fine.' Then, he left for several days with his friends. She didn't pass for several months, and the entire time, he refused to let me grieve because he said I was being pessimistic. If he caught me crying, he'd call me 'Debbie Downer.' She had terminal brain cancer, and he was at the meeting with the specialist, so he heard the doctor just as well as I did. Honestly, I think he thought it would be like TV, and there would be a last-minute miracle."
7."While I was deployed, my husband decided to give away a painting I had done because he thought it was too good to be sitting in my parents' basement. He also didn't tell me he did this because he thought I would be mad. A few months after I returned, I discovered that the friend he had given the painting to had broken up with his girlfriend, and she took it with her when she moved out. I haven't seen her or the painting since. Needless to say, I was livid. My husband thought he was doing something good by sharing my art, but I don't think he understood how much he hurt me by doing this."
—Anonymous
8."I was very ill with pneumonia and had a high fever and bad cough. I was the breadwinner and had missed work for more than a week. He was a musician and wouldn't even help with our 2-year-old. I had to drag myself out of bed long enough to take her to daycare. Then I caught him taking my antibiotics because he 'didn't want to get sick.' That was the last straw."
—Anonymous
9."Many years ago, while my first husband was out of town, I went to the grocery store after dark. A male stranger asked me what type of shampoo I would recommend, so I responded that my husband used a certain brand. I watched him check out and leave the store and then waited a while longer before I left. As I was putting my groceries in the car, this same guy pulled up in his truck and asked me if I wanted to have a drink with him. I declined, and he drove away. I waited longer before taking a roundabout way home to be sure he wasn't following me. When my dear husband returned home and heard my story, he told me I needed to be more careful because this guy could have stolen my engagement ring. Our neighbor had to explain to him WHY this was the wrong reaction. This isn't the main reason the marriage didn't last, but it sure did not help the relationship."
10."My husband, who has always been generous with gift giving (including many pieces of gorgeous jewelry), totally wrecked me on our 25th anniversary two years ago. I told him we didn't need to make a big deal of our 25th, but I expected he would do something special. Imagine my shock and heartbreak when he gave me a card and a package of bite-size candy bars! The candy wasn't even one I would ever buy for myself. I simmered for over a year! I finally blew up this summer when he made another bonehead move! He apologized and offered some weak excuse, which I accepted. He went all out for my birthday a couple of months later, telling me he 'learned his lesson.' Mind you, I wasn't being greedy or acting spoiled. It's just that he had set a standard all the years before with such awesome gifts. I expected the same for a special occasion like our 25th anniversary. We're fine now and can laugh about it!"
—Anonymous
Present
11."My now-ex and I share a son. I had him via C-section. The first night we brought him home, my ex refused to get up to help with the baby at all because he was so exhausted."
—Anonymous
12."It was Thanksgiving, and we were hanging out at his parent's house having dinner. Everyone was going around the table and saying what they were thankful for. Every year, I say I'm thankful for my husband, God, and my beautiful life. Not once in 30 years has he ever said he was thankful for me. I'm a bit wounded by this."
—Anonymous
13."My ex-boyfriend did many selfish and inconsiderate things during our relationship. But the one that'll forever live rent-free in my memory is him eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Heath Bar Crunch, knowing full well that I was at work and looking forward to enjoying it later. He even left the empty container of ice cream for me to find when I came home."
—Anonymous
14."My 10-month-old baby and I both had colds with fever when I called and asked my husband why he was late coming home. He replied that he had made plans to work on his motorcycle with his friend. When I told him I needed him, he told me to call my mother to help. She lived 40 miles away!"
—Anonymous
15."My fiancé left me while I was in the hospital recovering from a hysterectomy due to a uterine cancer scare. I got home from the hospital and walked inside to find all his stuff gone. I finally got a hold of him days later, and his only response to me was, 'I just always assumed I'd be a father.' We were building a house and had a deposit on a wedding venue. We had also discussed (on our first date) that neither of us wanted children. Fast forward 10 years, and I started dating a new man. He knew the story of my ex-fiancé and knew that I'd had a hysterectomy. We were both in our early 40s. One day, out of the blue, after he had returned from a family vacation, he told me, 'We should break up. I want to be a father.' Needless to say, I have given up on dating now."
—Anonymous
16."For our 11th anniversary, I ordered and designed six custom panels containing various versions of his business logo. They were beautiful and expensive. This man bought me a chainsaw. I have never used a chainsaw, nor do I have a use for a chainsaw. But he sure loves it."
17."When I was a senior in high school, I was on prom court. I was one of the five girls the school voted for to become that year's prom queen. My high school boyfriend, whom I started dating my first year, didn't vote for me. He said he thought that a different girl "deserved it more." I sadly dated him for a few more years after that."
—Anonymous
18."I had a rough delivery of a small preemie along with a C-section. I returned home and had just sat down when my husband brought me a basket of unfolded laundry. When I protested, he replied, 'Oh, I just wanted to get your mind off things.'"
—Anonymous
19."When I had my daughter, I had a nasty tear. I needed surgery to fix it, so I got an extra day in the hospital and a few units of blood. I hadn't slept more than a few minutes here and there in about three days due to figuring out how to nurse and care for my baby; plus, I was managing the pain without medications since they could be passed through my milk to my newborn. I came home with many stitches in sensitive areas, still weak and exhausted from the blood loss, and cared for my new baby. When we tried to go to bed early, around 7:00 p.m., I couldn't figure out how to sit up in bed comfortably due to my injury, and I also wasn't able to find a way to nurse my baby while lying down. My husband helped me set up her bassinet downstairs and then went to bed because he was tired...at 7:30 p.m. He said he didn't sleep well while staying at the hospital the night before, despite having gone home to take care of our dogs and grab a nap that morning."
"I couldn't put my baby down without her crying. I tried calling him to help, but he didn't hear me. My mom called to check on me around 9:30 p.m. and came immediately when I started crying about how tired and sore I was. She stayed with me all night and held my daughter while I slept between feedings. My husband didn't come down to check on us until 7:00 a.m. and was surprised my mom was there. He didn't hear anything or think to check on us at all.
I'm still married to him. At the time, I stayed mainly because I was too injured, exhausted, and vulnerable to devote the emotional and mental work to leaving. By the time I physically recovered and got through the most challenging baby period, nothing that bad had happened, and he was a responsible, involved dad (though night work was always on me, primarily due to breastfeeding). Still, many, many years later, I remember that awful night and know I cannot count on him to take care of me or us if something goes really wrong again. Maybe he would step up, but I can't be sure enough to depend on him, so I always have a plan on how to get help and take care of myself and my kid on our own if necessary."
—Anonymous
20."Randomly, while at a restaurant, we were waiting for our bill to come, and I was telling a story about kissing. Out of the blue, he said, 'You have thin, reedy lips. They're not good for kissing.' We had been together for two years at that point. I started crying at the table."
21."I've been abroad for the last four years, and the one thing I've missed the most about home is celebrating Thanksgiving with my whole family! This year was my first one back, and I could not have been more excited. My boyfriend and I had been fighting off and on for a few weeks about communication and little things — nothing too major. I thought we had resolved things, and he left the state to spend the holiday with his relatives. My Thanksgiving was incredible! I spent all day texting him about how happy I was, how this was everything I wanted, and that I was so grateful for him and our relationship! He took my happiness as a sign that he should call me after all my guests left to scream at me about our original fight until I cried. He apologized the next morning and blamed alcohol, but I still haven't forgiven him for how inconsiderate he was."
"I waited four years for this holiday, and he went and ruined it at the last minute. He wants to work through things now, but I'm not sure I can forget how little my happiness meant to him, and I am slowly working towards a breakup."
—Anonymous
22."My ex-husband went and worked out while I was in labor with our first child, which turned out to be his precursor for fatherhood. That was my last child with him."
23."My dad lives with us and has terminal cancer. He's helped with the cooking, cleaning, and paying the utilities since he has lived here, not to mention how he's helped our teenage sons. When we discovered he only had months to live, I talked to my husband about teleworking (he's IT and employed by the government) and using his sick leave because hospice can't be here all the time, and we both have to work. My job is also flexible (but has no benefits), but it will take both of us stepping up. He complained that if he uses his time, he won't get to turn any of his three-day weekends into four-day weekends. The hurt I am currently going through is excruciating. Side note: He watched his own dad die of cancer, so he is aware of what goes on at this stage."
—Anonymous
24."My ex-husband gave me a check in a card for Mother's Day. The check was written from our joint account, and he was unemployed then, so the only money coming in was what I'd earned."
25."My then-husband went to his family's for Thanksgiving, leaving me (pregnant at the time) and our 2-year-old behind. His reason? It was the 'family thing to do.'"
—Anonymous
26."The day of my mom's open heart surgery, I asked my husband if he'd be able to watch our two young daughters after he got off work the next day so I could go visit her. They were young, and she was in the ICU. Taking them with me just didn't seem ideal. He told me he couldn't because he was going fishing with a friend. I found out two weeks later that the 'friend' was the woman he was having an affair with. He is no longer my husband."
—Anonymous
An operating room may be designed and equipped to provide care to patients.
27.And: "This is something that has gotten considerably worse over time. He has no problem taking the last of anything — the last soda, the last bit of leftovers, anything and everything. It's not even a thought, so I've stopped considering him. I'll take the last soda now. He's not going to think about me anyway."
—Anonymous
This hurts my heart. Women, if your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband has ever done something inconsiderate that really stuck with you, you're invited to share your story in the comments, or you can submit it anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
