Yahoo Lifestyle "No One Has Ever Made Any Negative Remarks About It": This Woman Postponed Her Wedding After Her Fiancé Made This Comment About Her Body, And Here's What People Are Saying
Let's get into another juicy Am I The Asshole thread from Reddit. Today, user u/Upstairs_Garden2353 is wondering if she went too far in postponing her wedding. Here's why:
So, u/Upstairs_Garden2353 recently explained that she has a noticeable scar on the side of her neck. The scar has been there for over six years, and no one has ever said anything negative to her about it...until now.
She shared, "My fiancé would make comments about my scar and make it seem as flirting, for instance, complaining he has kissed every part of my body, except my neck because of the scar, and how the scar 'looked like a kid messed up such a great art' (referring to my look), etc. I told him I didn't appreciate it, even if he was using the scar to be flirty with me, but he insisted he loved me anyway."
Again, none of these images are the woman's actual scar, just Getty images!
However, just as the wedding was nearing, u/Upstairs_Garden2353 delayed it. "A few days ago, my fiancé and I and (my future) in-laws were talking about the wedding — about how we're going to finally be married. My fiancé laughed and said, 'I'm marrying you minus the scar.'"
As you can imagine, she was taken aback by the comment. "I was stunned when he said that, especially in front of his family. I was upset, so I got up and walked out of the room. We had a big fight and he kept saying I was being a drama queen and that he said 'nothing wrong.'"
Then, when u/Upstairs_Garden2353 told her fiancé she wanted to postpone the wedding because of his comment, she said he called her "crazy." Then his mom got involved: "His mom said that I'm obviously 'traumatized' by my scar because I would let it ruin my marriage with her son, and she suggested therapy. She told me that the scar was the issue, not her son, who loves me as I am and chose me to be his wife."
Now u/Upstairs_Garden2353 is feeling "horrible" and wondering if she was right in delaying the wedding. "Am I overreacting? My girlfriends have previously said that my fiancé shouldn't even be bringing up the scar like that."
Here is what the people of Reddit had to say in response to her question:
"NTA. I want to marry you, but my scar does not."
"The fact that they're making it sound like he's doing you a FAVOR by marrying you even though you have a scar is the HUGEST red flag. Who TF comments on someone's scars like that? For THIS LONG?!"
"He got his mom to gaslight you. I bet this isn't his only constant douche move in your relationship..."
"Rather than postpone it, I would call it off. Clearly, you deserve better than this jackass and his family."
"NTA. That’s hurtful, disrespectful, and calling attention to something that is very much a part of you in a negative way. When you love someone, you do so not despite the things that make them unique but BECAUSE of those things. I’d venture to say that scar has shaped how you feel about yourself, the world, relationships, etc., and contributed to the woman you are today."
"Why is he so OBSESSED with the scar? I would seriously think again about marrying this idiot."
"'He loves you anyway?' Fuck that. NTA, but you will be if you marry this sphincter. Dump his ass and his family. You can do SO much better than this shallow, abusive loser. Thank goodness this came to a head before you were legally entangled. In a couple of years, you can refer to this incident when somebody posts one of those 'What’s the biggest bullet you ever dodged?' questions on Reddit."
Well, I think it is unanimous that this guy needs to be dropped. We don't know if u/Upstairs_Garden2353 will cancel the wedding altogether but she did say this: "Thank you for your comments...I feel like he has let me down because he, of all people, shouldn't be commenting on my scar. I thought he meant well, but now? I feel like it's deliberate, but for what purpose? I have no idea."
NOTE: Some of the submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
