Woman's 'Missed RSVP' Cards for Wedding Guests Who Fail to Respond by Deadline Go Viral

"I got some criticism of it being too harsh," Nishma Mistry said of the message she wrote

<p>SWNS</p> Wedding planning expert Nishma Mistry; Missed RSVP cards


Wedding planning expert Nishma Mistry; Missed RSVP cards

An Atlanta woman is standing up for frustrated couples trying to finalize their wedding head counts.

After hearing from a number of brides that their friends and family failed to RVSP to their wedding invitations, Nishma Mistry, creator of Asian Bride Sorority, had an idea. The 39-year-old wedding planning expert told SWNS she wrote a "missed RVSP" message for couples to print on cards and send to their unresponsive guests.

"I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I thought, 'Let me draft something,' " explained Mistry, who celebrated her own wedding 14 years ago.

The message reads: "We're sorry you can't make it to our wedding. Our RSVP deadline has passed and you unfortunately did not respond. We would have loved to have you attend but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed."

Related: Etiquette Expert Shares Three Tips to Avoid Being a Bad Wedding Guest (Exclusive)

<p>SWNS</p> Nishma Mistry's "missed RSVP" message


Nishma Mistry's "missed RSVP" message

Mistry said the etiquette issue is particularly challenging for her company's membership community, as South Asian weddings often have hundreds of guests and span several days of events.

She recalled planning her own nuptials and having to undertake the tedious and time-consuming task of calling all of her 550 guests to confirm their attendance so she could finalize her catering order and make a reception seating plan.

"I had to call everyone and ask, 'Are you coming?' It was such a waste of time," she explained. "You have a list the size of your arm to get done and you're trying to appease everyone. People don't understand the importance of responding back."

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Mistry said the response to her "missed RSVP" concept has been mixed. "I got criticism of it being too harsh," she said of the message she wrote. "People are saying it is a bit tacky."

"But people have the invite for four months — it's inconsiderate," she argued.

Related: From No DJ Requests to Revoked Invitations: Bride Details ‘Controversial' Rules at Her Wedding

<p>SWNS</p> Nishma Vistry, creator of Asian Bride Sorority


Nishma Vistry, creator of Asian Bride Sorority

While she conceded that her wording could use some softening, she reiterated the necessity of the cards for couples needing to finalize key aspects of their wedding by a certain deadline.

Mistry said she's received many comments from brides who are in favor of the missed RSVP message as it holds guests accountable for proper etiquette.

"I absolutely love it," one person raved. "The people who have a problem with it are the people who would not RSVP."

Another chimed in, "I wish I did this. Even people who did RSVP didn't show up. It made me so angry thinking about all the money we spent on them."

In a 2023 interview with PEOPLE, etiquette expert and The Swann School of Protocol founder Elaine Swann noted how important it is for guests to answer wedding RSVPs in a timely manner — even if they're not planning to attend.

"It's important to respond to the wedding invitation because the bride and groom are relying on that information to plan their wedding," she said. "Oftentimes people feel as though if they're not going to attend, they should not respond, but you should."

Swann added, "And then, of course, utilize the response method that the couple has provided, whether it's mailing a card back or responding online."

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