The Reddit user sparked a debate as some thought her husband was being thoughtful and others believed he was intentionally trying to hurt her
A Reddit user revealed her husband killed the plants in her terrarium while she was away on a trip
The woman ended up canceling their anniversary getaway so she could try to salvage the terrarium that she built with her late mom
Her husband got angry because he didn’t think it was a big deal and started sleeping in a separate room
The story has sparked a debate on Reddit over whether it was an accident or if her husband was being intentionally malicious
A woman is seeking reassurance after claiming her husband destroyed her treasured terrarium that she built with her late mom 15 years ago.
In a post shared to Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole,” user Tiny-Pen-2289, 29, opens up about an incident between her and her husband, 33, that occurred after she traveled across the country to explore an “incredible job offer” and visit her sister over the course of eight days.
The original poster (OP) reveals “the problem started” when she got back from the trip with a few days to spare before the couple was supposed to celebrate their anniversary with a luxury train ride.
“I have a very large closed bioactive terrarium which I made with my mother 15 years ago,” she continues. “It's one of my favorite things I have of her from before she passed. This terrarium is my pride and joy, and has come with me everywhere since we planted it.”
She adds that her terrarium has alway been “healthy and beautiful” and that she’s only opened it four times since first creating it to do some maintenance and watering. Down in the thread, she explains that it's a "self sustaining ecosystem" that creates its own moisture and requires very little care.
“My husband knows all of this, which is why I don't understand why he decided to tamper with it in my absence. I didn't notice the night I got home because I was exhausted, but the next morning, I went to check on the terrarium to find it in a terrible state. The roots were rotting and the plants dying and molding.”
After she questioned her husband, she discovered that he had “poured a few cups of water into the vessel and sealed it again." The pair immediately got into a heated argument in which her husband told her, "it's just a plant" and "all you do is look at it anyway."
“He called me ungrateful and overdramatic, and [said] that I should appreciate that his intention was to help me,” she shares. He also said he didn't ask her before watering the plants because "he didn't want to bother me on my trip.” The woman ended up canceling their train getaway because she “wanted to try and salvage the plants and that would require time.”
The cancellation upset her husband so much that he’s “now sleeping in a separate room and refusing to speak to me because, according to him, I'm being petty and trying to destroy our marriage.”
While her friends argue that it was an accident and her husband was just trying to be thoughtful, other Reddit users have deemed the woman “not the a–hole” (NTA).
“If you have only opened it a few times then he knows it doesn't get watered that often,” one user commented, with another agreeing, “he maliciously killed something you love.”
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Another person went further, writing, “NTA. He killed your plants because he's envious of how much they mean to you. I'd consider canceling more than just the anniversary trip.”
Others pointed out that even if his intentions to water the plants were pure, his angry response to his wife’s reaction was “selfish.”
However, there were a few that thought her husband was just ignorant, not malicious.
“I don't know; this is one of those weird malice vs ignorance situations where I'm not sure we can make that judgment,” a user commented. “He's certainly trying to dodge responsibility here, but I'm not seeing any motive for malice.
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