Taylor Frankie Paul Says Domestic Violence Arrest Was 'Worst Night' of Her Life but a 'Blessing in Disguise'

Taylor is worried about losing control and pushing boyfriend Dakota Mortensen away

<p>Hulu</p> Taylor Frankie Paul in Hulu

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Taylor Frankie Paul in Hulu's "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives"

Warning: This post contains spoilers for Hulu's The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Taylor Frankie Paul isn't proud of the moments that play out at the end of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives premiere.

After a drunken night and an out-of-control argument with boyfriend Dakota Mortensen leads to her arrest, Taylor has a moment of clarity about her life's direction.

Taylor was arrested after the couple's argument got so heated that neighbors could hear screaming. In body camera footage shown on the series, Taylor is shown intoxicated. As police arrive on the scene, she accuses her partner Dakota of also being intoxicated, which he denies to police, noting that he's sober.

"She just attacked the crap out of me," Dakota is heard telling police as Taylor says, "You threw me in the garage."

Police separate the two and one officer explains the situation to Taylor as the other does the same with Dakota. He tells police, "She was launching those metal chairs at me left and right. She put a hole in the wall. I was actually a little bit scared for my life."

"I peed my pants because I was so afraid of him in my garage," Taylor tells the officer she's speaking with of Dakota. Their conversation with the officer concludes with a tearful Taylor turning around and being handcuffed as she's arrested.

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“Getting arrested, it was the worst night of my life. I ended up being charged with aggravated assault with three years of probation," she explains.

At the time, Taylor was reeling after an unexpected ectopic pregnancy. In the second episode, she reveals she and Dakota have decided to keep working on their relationship. The camera pans to show she is pregnant again.

"It’s been a challenge going from the scandal to relationship to miscarriage to arrest to being pregnant again," she shares.

Taylor explains that it's difficult to go through such a hard time as a public figure.

“After the arrest, I was under so much stress. I was filmed leaving the jail and then that was immediately on the internet," she says. "It was a blessing in disguise. It helped me wake up."

Taylor tells her mom that she's afraid of things going wrong and that she's "not all in."

"I'm so scared to just get hurt, I guess. I've done everything to push him. I think it's more of a test, like, are you going to stay here with me through thick and thin."

Taylor says Dakota believes she acts like she "wants to ruin this," and has warned her, "You're going to do it eventually if you keep trying it."

In a tearful confessional, Taylor says she's "pushed Dakota because I don't feel like I deserve this happy ending life."

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is currently streaming on Hulu.

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