Donor sister must choose between siblings for kidney transplant

·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·4-min read

A sister has opened up about the heartbreaking decision she faced when she found out she was a donor match for both of her identical twin half-sisters who required kidney transplants.

The 22-year-old shared her story on Reddit’s AITA forum (that’s ‘Am I The A**hole’), explaining that, as she only had one kidney to offer, she was forced to choose which of her siblings, both 16, would receive the life-saving organ.

Rear view of three girls in pink looking out over field of purple wildflowers
How would you choose between saving one sibling over another? Photo: Getty Images.

The decision was made that much more fraught, she said, because one twin, Jade, was considered by the family to be ‘the golden child’ while Sarah, her sister, was seen as ‘mediocre’.

“I don't think either deserves to die. Their parents are undeniably advocating for me to choose Jade who has, and I quote, ‘such a bright future’, but they just haven't said it explicitly,” she wrote.

Despite overwhelming pressure to choose Jade, the woman ended up deciding to donate to Sarah who she called her ‘best friend’.

An excerpt from a woman's Reddit post about choosing between her siblings for a kidney transplant. Photo: Reddit.
An excerpt from a woman's Reddit post about choosing between her siblings for a kidney transplant. Photo: Reddit.

“I get it. I'm playing God here. But it's my kidney,” she wrote.

“Yeah, I feel like scum for choosing one sister over the other, but one is my best friend and the other is, well, not... My whole family seem to be demonising me for making this choice,” she added.

At that stage, doctors had explained that the twins’ kidneys were at ‘similar stages’ of deterioration so one didn’t require a transplant earlier than the other — any change to that would influence the sister’s decision.


“If it came down to Jade needing a kidney next week and Sarah not needing one until next year, I would obviously donate to Jade and hold out hope Sarah will get another donor,” she wrote.

Three months after her original post, the sister shared an update on the saga on Tuesday, explaining that in the end she wasn’t required to donate her kidney as the twins received one each from the same donor.

The woman gave an update on her sisters three months after her original post. Photo: Reddit.
The woman gave an update on her sisters three months after her original post. Photo: Reddit.

Even though both girls are now on their way to recovery, the family dynamic has been forever altered.

“There is now understandably massive divides in the family because of how my mom and the girls’ dad outright demanded I give my kidney to Jade,” the woman wrote.

She went on to provide more insight into the reason she chose one twin over the other, saying that Jade made Sarah's life ‘hell’.

“Jade treated [Sarah] like dirt, and their dad and stepmom thought it was basically Jade’s right as the ‘superior being’ or some bulls**t,” she explained.

According to her, Jade used to tear up her sister’s homework, throw her dinner in the rubbish and deprive her of sleep by setting random alarms in their shared bedroom.

When the woman told Jade that she was giving her kidney to Sarah, Jade became very angry and said that her organ was ‘going to waste’.

Photo: Reddit.
The Reddit community weighed in on the woman's decision. Photo: Reddit.

“I effectively said if she hadn't been such a nasty b***h her whole life maybe she wouldn't be dealing with this,” the woman recalled.

Sarah’s reaction was slightly different from her twin’s.

“Sarah broke down in tears because it was the first time she ever felt somebody put her first,” the woman revealed.

She also said that Sarah will be moving in with her soon and that Jade is ‘slowly mending bridges’ with her twin.

The Reddit community congratulated the woman on her decision and the way that she spoke up about her younger sister’s poor behaviour.

“It sounds like you may have said something to Jade that she needed to hear. You know what is way worse and more toxic than being straightforward to someone even if it’s unpleasant? Holding in ill feelings and letting it fester, as there is no resolution to those feelings without talking it out,” one wrote in the comments.

“Did jade a kindness by telling her all that- if she takes it to heart and does some introspective work she could really change her life and become a better person. So you gave her a gift as well,” another added.

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