A soon-to-be groom has opened up about keeping a big secret from his fiancée of two years: that he has a five-year-old child with another woman.
The 25-year-old Aussie shared his story on the popular ‘AITA’ (or ‘Am I The Asshole’) Reddit thread titled, “AITA for not telling my soon-to-be wife that I have a child?”
The unnamed man begins the post by explaining that he fathered the child, a little girl, while on a ‘lads holiday’ after sleeping with a New Zealand woman.
“When I was 18, I went on a ‘lads holiday’ to Phuket in Thailand. Whilst I was there we met a group of girls, from New Zealand and I’m from Australia.
“I slept with one of these girls and she ended up getting pregnant. I’m now 23 and my daughter is 5. I keep in contact as much as I can but obviously it’s difficult with living in different countries.”
He then goes on to say that he’d wanted to tell his fiancée about his daughter — who he sees ‘three or four times’ a year — but “it was never the right time”.
“I met my fiancé about 2 years ago now, and although I planned on telling her, it was never the right time to have the conversation. There was no chance of a relationship happening with the mother of my daughter and I only see my daughter three or four times a year if I’m lucky. My fiancé and I are due to get married in October.”
With four months to go until the wedding, the man broke the news to his bride-to-be whose reaction was — in his opinion — ‘a little extreme’.
“Well, last night I tried to have the conversation. Did not go well. She said that had I told her when we first got into a relationship she would’ve been absolutely fine with but the fact I kept it from her is upsetting and she’s now talking about rethinking the wedding plans which I think is a little extreme.”
To add insult to injury, the man admitted that his friends were in on the secret too, which only upset his fiancée further.
He then asked the opinion of the Reddit community which swiftly and unceremoniously declared him to be the asshole, with many bewildered by his deceit.
One user shared a lengthy comment chastising the man for his lying ways:
“YTA OP! How on earth can your inner monologue stand right with this? You are basically going: ‘Hey honey, I lied to you, I have a kid that is 5 years old, I go to see her a few times a year - Yeah, remember these times I said I was doing X, I was actually seeing my kid. Hope you don’t mind that I seem to be such a great liar, obviously it’s a conversation I would have liked to have sooner but hey, I lacked the cojones, but with us getting married it seems kind of more relevant so... Wait why are you overthinking this? You got the info, I’m a liar and I’m spineless when it comes to hard conversations, let’s get married!’.”
Others echoed the sentiment, with one user speculating what other secrets the man has ‘hidden away’.
“YTA - how did you manage to see your daughter and not tell your fiancé? I just can’t even fathom why you didn’t tell her early on or how it didn’t come up at any point in your relationship. You’re definitely the AH.”
“Yeah I'm calling bullshit you travelled several times while you were dating. You were actively avoiding bringing it up.”
“Exactly! The issue here isn't that you had a daughter in another country, at least not for your fiancé, the issue is that you hid her from your fiancé. I'd be wondering what else you'd hidden away.”
“Even a few months in, you must’ve known the relationship was serious. You just didn’t have the respect to tell her. Damn, definitely TA in the situation.”
“Right?! Like that's literally first or 2nd date material. ‘So tell me about yourself’... ‘well, I'm the oldest of 3 kids, come from a smallish family, have a 5 y/o daughter. How about you?’ It would've literally taken him more effort to actively conceal this than it would've being honest from day 1.”
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