Quotes of the Week: NCIS: Origins, The View, Skeleton Crew, Ghosts and More

Claire Franken

22 December 2024 at 9:59 am·3-min read

Nothing says Christmas like TVLine’s Quotes of the Week, right?

In the list below, we’ve gathered over a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted and unscripted moments from cable, broadcast and streaming series.

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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Creature Commandos, No Good Deed, Late Night With Seth Meyers, House of Villains, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Elsbeth and Outlander.

Also featured in this week’s roundup: The View’s Joy Behar shows her naughty side, Star Wars: Skeleton Crew gets athletic and What We Do in the Shadows offers a heartwarming tribute — well, sort of. Plus, we’ve got double doses of Ghosts, NCIS: Origins and Yellowstone.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Mandi Bierly, Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Andy Swift)

CREATURE COMMANDOS

“I’m charging you with first-degree Witchiepoo, and Maleficent in the second degree.”

“Oh, and Bette Midler in that one movie, in the third degree!”

“That’s an actress, John, not a character’s name.”

“He’s talking about Hocus Pocus.”

“Again, not a character.”

Economos (voiced by Steve Agee) and Flag (Frank Grillo) step on Waller’s (Viola Davis) joke at Circe’s expense

NCIS: ORIGINS

“I know who you are. I read the paper, stay up on things. It ain’t every day a white Marine with a Black name loses his family to murder.”

Ruth (London Garcia) is well aware of Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ lousy recent lot in life

NCIS: ORIGINS (Bonus Quote!)

“What. The. Hell? [Ruth laughs, heartily] I tell you I’m a crap mother, you tell me you killed a guy?! This can’t be normal! Do people really talk like this?”

Ruth (London Garcia) and Gibbs trade secrets (of admittedly unequal weight!)

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

“Firefighters in Massachusetts recently rescued a man who got stuck in a chimney while running away from the cops. He was charged with two billion counts of breaking and entering.”

NO GOOD DEED

“Oh! You’re alive!”

“Jesus! Can you knock?”

“Well, naturally, I thought you were slain by raccoons and buried in a hollow tree. Why else would I be sent to voicemail six times, Lydia?”

Greg (Matt Rogers) imagines the worst case scenario when Lydia ignores his calls

YELLOWSTONE

“Hey, baby, take a shower, you smell like a hyena.”

“How do you know what a hyena smells like?”

“I don’t, but I assume — and I assume they smell like you.”

Look at Beth (Kelly Reilly), being so maternal toward Carter (Finn Little), he doesn’t even need to call her mama

YELLOWSTONE (Bonus Quote!)

“Well, John, I wore the tightest skirt I could find in your honor. You go easy on the angels up there. You will be missed.”

Lynelle (Wendy Moniz) finds the perfect way to say goodbye to John

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

“We’re born into families, and my family wasn’t great, but we also have our chosen families: the people who we choose to surround ourselves with. They may not be your blood relatives, but they look out for you, and you look out for them. They accept you for who you are and lift you up when you’re down. Being here tonight with you guys makes me realize… how much I dearly miss my chosen family, who all died in a steamboat accident in 1906, leaving me with no choice but to hang out with you stinky turds.”

Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) offers a heartwarming tribute to friendship… present company excluded

THE VIEW

“It’s not that hard. It’s like faking an orgasm. It’s a piece of cake. … Oh, God, I love it! … It’s nothing. We’re all very practiced at that.”

Joy Behar, 82, explains how to appear grateful no matter what gift you receive this holiday season

ELSBETH

“Who wants to watch someone who isn’t a cop solve crimes?”

Detective Fleming (Daniel Oreskes) gets meta while Elsbeth & Co. investigate a murder on the set of a crime TV show

STAR WARS: SKELETON CREW

“So, there’s no combat on this At Attin?”

“No, but we do play this one game called Slap Ball.”

Neel (Robert Timothy Smith) tells Hayna (Hala Finley) how hard they roll on his home planet

HOUSE OF VILLAINS

“Do you actually like Victoria?”

“No.”

Despite making up and hugging it out on camera, Larsa Pippen reveals her not-so-shocking true feelings about Victoria Larson

A CARPENTER CHRISTMAS ROMANCE

“Is there, like, a boiler room you two can go make out in?”

Ella (Kaley McCormack) reacting to her sister Andrea (Sasha Pieterse) bumping into her “very own Jordan Catalano,” Seth (Mitchell Slaggert)

OUTLANDER

“The only useful thing was what my wife told me on the night: Go slowly, pay attention. I’m sure you canna go far wrong with that.”

“Was she gentle with you?”

“God, no.”

As he counsels groom-to-be Ian (John Bell), Jamie (Sam Heughan) reminisces about being a virgin on his wedding night

THE SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS

“It’s my first time working with a full six inches.”

Kimberly (Pauline Chalamet) presents her very large debate prep binder

GHOSTS

“Whoa, wearing shoes feels crazy! It’s like my feet are in tiny foot prisons.”

Cholera ghost Nancy (Rose McIver) discovers the downsides of modern footwear while possessing Sam

GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)

“Oh, I hate zombies.”

Sam (played by former iZombie star Rose McIver) when Jay returns to life after temporarily becoming a zombie

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