Welcome to another situation from Reddit's r/AmItheAsshole subreddit where people ask if they are jerks for their behavior. This one is a doozy...
Redditor u/SoberNewYearsWedding is the original poster (OP) sharing the following info: "My buddy is getting married to a girl that our friend group is not in love with. He loves her, though, so we support him. We have known for months this was a New Year's Eve wedding. I RSVP'd 'yes' months ago with my wife."
OK, so far so good, right?! Well, apparently the OP didn't realize it was going to be a DRY wedding. "Several friends and I operated under the assumption that there would be booze at the wedding, especially considering it is on New Year's Eve," he shared in the thread.
However, when he found out it was a no-booze wedding, he asked his wife if she knew, and she did not. He then stated that she was "pissed" that there wouldn't be alcohol. "I texted the groom buddy and asked. He confirmed this. I told him, 'This is something you should have told us a long time ago.' I told him that my wife and I wouldn't be going. We want to spend the night drinking."
And then u/SoberNewYearsWedding shared that when he texted the rest of his friends, "the group chat went off."
He said this led to several people backing out of going to the wedding because it was not how they "expected to spend New Year's Eve."
After 8 of the 12 friends in the group chat backed out of going to the wedding because of this, the groom contacted the OP, upset. "My groom buddy reached out to me and went off about how he is overspending on catering because there will be fewer guests than planned — and this is all last minute. I've been called an asshole, among other things, for 'leading the charge' in people not going to the wedding. AITA?"
Right away, other Reddit users started dishing out their thoughts:
"You're the asshole. Even though I agree with you that he should have informed you in advance about the dry wedding, it's not right to cancel at the last minute for this reason. You can attend the ceremony and the reception for a couple of hours and then go elsewhere to drink. Weddings aren't meant for drinking all night, as you mentioned; they're for celebrating and supporting the couple. I think this is more about not liking the bride, and this was the perfect excuse not to attend."
"I love drinking and hate a dry wedding as much as the next guy, but you can show up to the wedding ceremony, spend an hour or two at the reception, and then go get blackout drunk if that is an absolute must for you. Backing out at the last minute and letting your friend know he's not worth two hours of sobriety means you're the asshole by miles and miles."
"The bride and groom SUCK for not making it clear that they are having a dry wedding on NYE. You SUCK for backing out of the wedding you RSVP'd to without offering to cover your plate cost and letting them know that you would like to attend the wedding to show support. Many years ago, I went to a dry wedding, and the six of us at our table all planned ahead. We had drinks ourselves in flasks, and we went outside to enjoy some liquid courage to get out on the dance floor and make it through speeches. You had things you could have done, especially with a group of eight friends who all wanted alcohol too."
"I love drinking, but I'm shocked that people can't spend a few hours sober and value alcohol more than their friends. And what does not liking the bride have to do with it? I went to a New Year's Eve wedding a few years ago. Close friends. They asked everyone to stay sober until the reception, including arriving sober to the ceremony. We love our friends, so we were all fine with their request. OP: If you can't spend a few hours without alcohol and prioritize it ahead of your relationships, you have a problem."
Well, the OP didn't update to let us know what ended up happening, but if he got blackout drunk on NYE, he may have lost a friend because of it.
Note: Some entries have been edited for length and/or clarity.