Husbands Are Sharing The Secrets They've Uncovered About Their Wives AFTER Marriage
We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community what secrets they learned about their wives AFTER they got married, and they did not disappoint with their answers.
Here's what they had to say:
1."We got married and, in a couple of weeks, I filed for divorce because she got charged with bigamy. Turns out she was already married, and not even just one of those 'I was young and drunk in Vegas' ones — no, she had an entire other marriage and was actively in it. They weren’t even separated and he didn’t know about me either."
—37, New York
2."She told me that her religion said that she wasn't allowed to have sex until after she was married, turns out she just had an STD."
—45, New York
3."The night before our wedding, my soon-to-be wife and I were just chilling (we’re not the bachelorette/bachelor party people) and suddenly she burst out crying. I asked what was wrong and she said, 'I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I have a child.' I was completely shocked. It turns out, that she got pregnant as a teenager and had to put the child in foster care until she could take care of the child."
—32, Utah
4."I always thought my wife and brother acted strange around each other at family gatherings, only later to find out after the wedding, that they had dated for 6 months in college. But because my douchey brother cheated on her, he refrained from telling us this info!"
—36, Michigan
5."Two evenings before our wedding, I noticed my then-fiance was writing a lot of checks. After pressing her, she admitted she had amassed $30,000 in credit card debt. And that debt was now mine unless I wanted to call off the wedding. I probably should have taken that as a sign: I now work two jobs; she works none but buys lots of shoes, lots of dresses, and takes lots of trips — without me."
6."I thought that she was not seriously religious. The reality? She gradually became a religious fanatic."
7."I found out she owed the IRS approximately $15,000."
—57, Kentucky
8."I found out she had married me for my money. But the joke was on her because I had lied about the inheritance. I was broker than her!"
And here are some secrets that are a little bit more lighthearted:
9."Dentures. I thought her smile looked too perfect, but I figured it was good genetics."
—58, Wisconsin
10."Her phobia of bugs. She ALWAYS had to sleep with a sheet or blanket covering her to guard against the bugs that might be in the room to bother her."
—73, Pennsylvania
11."The first thing that comes to mind is all the toiletry/beauty products. I have no idea if she just kept them very well-hidden prior to us living together, or if she's greatly increased her support of the beauty industry since we've been married — but she has like a hundred bathroom products that take up 99% of all our bathroom space. She actually has to bounce between two different bathrooms to get ready because all the products can't be contained in just one storage pantry. See also: Decorative pillows. We have enough pillows to rest the weary heads of a seven-nation army."
12."She farts like a linebacker. I have never heard such a loud and deep sound from any locker room I have ever been in. And the smell just takes your breath away. Our sons have inherited those loud farts from the deep butt. Once you hear the noise you only have a few seconds to run. Said with love of course."
13.And finally, "Been with my wife for almost 30 years, and she tells me the other day that she’s never seen Road House with Patrick Swayze. My marriage is built on a lie."
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.