"I Felt This News Would Have Crushed Her": People Are Revealing The Long-Held Secrets They Will Never, Ever Tell Their Ex-Partners

Even when two people are in a trusting relationship with one another, there may still be a few reasons why someone would choose not to tell their partner something. So when Reddit user u/zammy888 asked: "What’s the one thing you never told your ex?" a lot of people provided some very interesting answers. Here's what they had to say below:

1."I know she faked an 'emergency' phone call and left my apartment in a hurry one night because she had sharted herself. Unbeknownst to her, there was some trace evidence left where she was sitting on the couch. I cleaned the spot, flipped the cushion, and I never let on that I knew what had really happened."

A cozy living room with a blue sofa, throw pillows, a coffee table with books, a lamp, and a plant
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2."That sometimes, while I was asleep, I'd wake to her petting my hair and telling me that she loved me. She said it in such a loving, quiet voice that it felt almost like a secret. In those moments, I had never felt so loved. I'd pretend to be still asleep while fading back into it so she wouldn't get embarrassed. We broke up later, but I still cherish those moments."


3."This was a long-distance relationship. When he was in really bad shape with a chronic pain issue and experiencing suicidal thoughts, I called his 'best' friend to go spend some time with him and try to cheer him up a little. I don't like this friend at all, and when I contacted him, he acted like going to check on the friend who was desperately bored and isolated because of his illness was a huge hassle he didn't have time for. To his credit, he actually did it. Even though I can't stand this friend, I figure no good could come from my then-boyfriend hearing that his 'best' friend balked at helping him when he was at his lowest."

Woman standing by an open door, looking out, with a laptop on a desk nearby
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4."The heartfelt letter she wrote to her dying best friend was returned because she put the wrong address. He passed away while the letter was en route back to her. I threw it in the trash."


5."I wish I had told her how messed up her family dynamic was, how oppressed she was from that. I wish I had told her that life was more than academia and titles. And that I could’ve been more, but I was always going to be an outlier in her family's eyes."

A family enjoys a meal together at a dining table
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6."She had a lovebird, and it managed to get out the door. We spent weeks walking the neighborhood, putting up posters, and scouring lost and found ads. Unfortunately, within a few hours of the first round of lost posters being distributed, I got a call (on her phone; she was in the shower) from a woman who witnessed the poor lovebird being predated by crows. I went out to 'buy cigarettes,' but actually, I went to the area where this was observed. I found a lot of little blue feathers. She was already heartbroken at the loss. I felt this news, this soon into the search, would have crushed her."


7."It sounds harsh, but I would have loved to have talked with my ex about how neither of us really loved the other but were both in love with the idea of each other, and that really fucked our relationship up from day one. And honestly, I should have never tried to rely on her to fix my own pre-existing issues. I'm genuinely sorry I put her through that."

A man and woman in a kitchen, he is holding his head in frustration, she looks on with hands on hips
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8."The day I left was the best day of my life. Not the wedding, not when the kiddo finished kindergarten or high school, but when I finally had enough and realized what was happening was abuse. It happens to men, too."


9."I let her win at card games sometimes. The winner usually chose the movie, but I didn’t want her to feel bad by beating her all the time, and I wanted to keep playing. I played A LOT of cards in university and could probably beat her 90% of the time."

Person playing a matching game with cards on a wooden table
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10."The real reason I broke up with her was because I caught myself going through her phone on a regular basis. The last time I did it, it hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew it was me and not her. I developed trust issues from past relationships. I was so in love with her that I didn't feel she deserved to be with someone not in a healthy place. I tried my hardest to trust her, but I couldn't. I still haven't gotten past her, and it's been six years. That behavior scared me so much that I haven't been in a relationship since, and I have focused on myself. I think I scared myself so badly that I am avoiding relationships out of the fear I'll have the desire to do that again."


11."She wanted to improve her own fitness, so she wanted to work out with me. Every time we ran together, I would run at half speed, breathe heavily, and pretend like I was exhausted. It helped her feel encouraged that she was able to keep up and that she was improving. When we’d go out to Asian restaurants, she’d insist on using chopsticks. She was terrible, so I always tried to outdo any blunders she made. If she struggled to pick something up, I’d pretend the chopsticks slipped out of my hand or resort to stabbing food in an exaggerated way. I’m Asian, and I’ve been using chopsticks longer than I’ve been using spoons and forks. She’d always gleefully laugh at me and never caught on to the fact that every time she was done eating, my chopstick errors significantly dropped."

Person eating tempura with chopsticks at a dining table

12."The fourth time she stayed over at my house, she woke up crying in the middle of the night, talking like she was a kid, and saying how her family is at odds, and her dad hates her mom and thinks she’s ugly, but they can’t get a divorce because of Christian values. I just calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. She suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and stress-caused episodes, so I don’t think she remembers it happening. I didn’t bring it up the next morning or ever in the three years we were together; not even during our worst fights."


13."I know that wasn’t the dog’s fart."

Closeup of a dog giving side-eye
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Have you ever kept a secret from an ex for a particular reason? Tell us the secret and why in the comments below: