Yahoo Lifestyle People Who Discovered Their Partners And Spouses Cheating Are Sharing How They Found Out And Wow
If you've ever been cheated on, just know that you're not in the minority. Over half of all people in monogamous relationships have been cheated on physically or emotionally, according to one poll.
Cheating is so common, chances are, you've probably heard stories from friends or relatives who have experienced it themselves. But if you've ever wondered how other people have found out their partners were being unfaithful, look no further.
Last week, I asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share how they found out their partners were cheating, and now, I'm speechless.
Dozens of people submitted their stories, but we've rounded up 19 of the most shocking responses:
1."I was planning a surprise birthday party for the SOB and his address book was kept in his briefcase. While he was away on a fishing trip with buddies, I opened his briefcase to fetch the address book so I could mail the invitations (before the internet)."
"Upon opening the case, a dozen or so love letters spilled out from his co-worker. They had been having an affair for months and I didn’t have a clue. My world came crashing down that day. I am now happily remarried."
–Mrs H., 58 years, IL
2."I went home for lunch, which I usually didn’t do. I found my husband in bed with his cousin."
–Anonymous, 59 years, CO
3."It was his birthday, and I was giving him a, um, below-the-belt bday present. Thankfully, I realized before I started that he had chafe marks from someone's shaved area's stubble grinding on him!! I knew what it was immediately! That's why you shouldn't turn the lights out people!!"
–Anonymous, 28 years at the time, GA
4."As I was doing the dishes, he was in his home office about 15 feet away with the door open about 9 p.m. on a Sunday night in March of 2000. His office phone rang, and I wondered who would call his office on a Sunday at that time. I heard him sweetly say, 'I just called, just because.'"
–GB, 68 years, TX
5."I had been suspicious and growing even more suspicious for many reasons. He got super sick, and his phone was left in a different room from the one where he was napping. I decided to snoop. Shitty of me, yes, but it proved he'd been lying to me for the entirety of the time I'd known him."
"We'd been married about five years. In my mind, worst-case scenario, I thought he was cheating with a woman from work. What I found that day was not what I expected.
I open the phone and started with the apps. To my surprise, no other woman, but I did find Grindr, some other gay dating apps that I don't even remember (except one called DaddyHunter because that one made me laugh... sorry), and then a Tumblr page filled with naked men and his own nudes. I saw plenty of messages I didn't need to see, I snagged the evidence I needed and got out of there. I can only describe it as earth-shattering."
6."I found out through a text on my partner’s phone. I had borrowed it and was not really snooping, but I noticed it was on airplane mode. Thinking this was unintentional on his part, I turned it off and was stunned to see the texts I saw. I was completely blindsided and fell to the ground crying. We had been together 25 years, and I thought we were fine."
–Anonymous, 58 years
7."So many clues. Keeping his phone facedown. Never leaving it unattended, though, I never looked at it. Always deleting call logs and text messages immediately. But didn't find out until the other woman reached out to me with videos, receipts, etc. That led to nearly a year held hostage (lived at a boarding school with kids) literally at gunpoint. Had to wait for summer break to kick him out. But I've been free, single, and safe since June 2016."
–Anonymous, 40 years
8."Tapped my own phone lines. Wired the recorder under the house and would crawl under to listen to my wife’s and her married boyfriend’s conversations."
–Anonymous, 65 years, GA
9."The husband was able to track me down at my job. He called me to tell me my husband of 20 years had been seeing his young wife for about nine months. Found hotel receipts, phone call records, and she confessed."
"Not only that, he found our address and a few days later went to our house to confront my husband. Only our son was home from college, and the man confronted our son. My son called me at work so shaken. 'Mom. I know everything.' Such a painful time. My mom was terminally ill, and also I was being harassed at work. I took a two week leave from work to regroup and deal.
The girl kept contacting my husband. I called her at her work to tell her to leave my husband and family alone. They had met at a gym – a gym membership I had bought as a gift for him. It took two years to recover from his 'mistake.' I had suspected him but couldn’t prove anything until the husband called. Being Christian, we both wanted to save our marriage.
After this, he had to prove his trust for years. I deserved that. We moved away to another city far away. It was a painful betrayal and humiliation, but we moved on. I still agonize that our marriage was marred for life by adultery."
–Anonymous, 46 years, FL
10.My ex-boyfriend worked at the tech company my mom founded. My (poor) mother ended up having to be the one to tell me he was cheating... with her personal assistant. My mom found out because the PA in question had bought herself and my ex a lavish weekend trip to Vegas — including flights, a nice hotel, fancy dinners, and skydiving — all on a company credit card."
"The PA also rented and then stole (via not returning) a car to use for their trip. We found out my ex was involved during the embezzlement investigation, wherein various pieces of Vegas security camera footage were subpoenaed; and lo and behold, there was my ex having a grand old time.
I (obviously) knew they knew each other, since they worked for the same company, but it never would have occurred to me in a million years that they were sleeping together."
–MJ, 33 years, CA
11."My wife was in the hospital on our one-year anniversary. Her girlfriend came in to visit with flowers, leading me to find out they had been dating for 9 months. She started the affair three months into our marriage and spent the whole time she was cheating on me trying to convince me that I was the one that was the problem."
12."I worked nights. I wasn’t feeling well for one shift, so I got cut early and went home to sleep. I couldn’t even do that because she was in our bed having sex with her (now) husband. We were dating for three years, saving for a house and planning for marriage, and three months after I ended things, they were engaged."
"After finding that out I’ve had to request all of my family and friends not to tell me anything more about what or how she’s doing now. I have her blocked on everything and I don’t think that’ll ever change. I don’t think it’ll ever stop being painful, even if I’ve moved on enough to start dating again."
–Anonymous, 28 years, TX
13."We had been on vacation, and our female neighbor was checking on our dog for us while we were gone. The neighbor had texted me and my husband in a group chat, asking a question about the dog. My phone said the chat group was me, my husband, and the female neighbor. I glanced at my husband's phone, and his group chat showed me, himself, and a male's name."
"I immediately called him out on it asking why her name was saved as someone else's name in his phone, and he gave some BS excuse that 'the contacts must have merged on accident.' I moved on and left it alone. Cut to seven months later, he happened to leave his phone downstairs when he went upstairs to shower. I NEVER looked through his phone, that night was the very first time. I picked his phone up and it opened up to his email. The first email that I opened was from the same female neighbor, and she had sent him a nude photo. They had hundreds of messages back and forth to each other that I never got to read, but I'm sure they were horrible. We are still working through it, its not easy. And I'm sure I will never get the full story!"
–Anonymous, 32 years, MI
14."I started dating a man four years after my divorce from a 20-year marriage. After two years together, multiple family vacations, and a promise ring, we moved in together. Fast forward 17 days and I (a teacher) get an email at work from a woman he had been sleeping with for a year and a half."
"Apparently he told her we were in an open relationship and when she wanted more he blew her off, which was fine until she found out he had moved in with me and NOT family friends as he’d told her, so she reached out to me to tell me truth, because she thought I should know. Pretty big slap in the face considering I was, and am, actually ok with an open relationship, but not lies and deceit. Kicking him out was the easiest decision I’ve made in the last six years!"
–Anonymous, 50 years, PNW
15."My partner worked from home and his new business partner came over for the day while I was at work. I found a used condom thrown in between the shampoos and body wash in our shower. I confronted him, and he told me it was a 'posh wank,' we had been together 10 years, so it took me months not to be in denial."
–Anonymous, 35 years, CA
16."My (now ex) husband’s mother told me. She was out one night and saw him with another woman. My MIL said she told me for my own good, but she had been trying to sabotage our relationship for years. When I confronted my ex, I told him how I found out about his cheating. Karma turned out to be a bitch because he stopped speaking to his disloyal mother, and they were estranged until the day she died."
–Anonymous, 68 years, FL
17."My husband of 23 years started being very dismissive of me. This prompted me to look at his Instagram account and see who he followed and who followed him."
"I noticed a person whom I did not know so I Googled her and found out her phone number. I checked our phone bill and found all the late-night texts and phone calls. I texted her, and she denied it. I then called him, and of course, he denied it. He left the house for three days and entertained her in his hotel room. Lovely."
–Anonymous, 61 years, AZ
18."My partner used to talk in his sleep, especially if he had been drinking. I was staying with him while my family was away on vacation and he had gone on a night out with his friends. He came home drunk at 2 a.m. and climbed into bed, but didn’t kiss me or snuggle me (which was weird). And then he fell asleep and the real story came out. He had kissed someone else at a party. Turns out this wasn’t the first time, just the one I found out about. Bullet dodged."
–Anonymous
19.And finally, "I found out my husband of 13 years was cheating on me when I got an STD. Thank goodness it was a curable one! But yep, a nurse called from my gyno's office after my yearly appointment to tell me I was infected."
"A stranger pretty much told me my marriage was over. Of course, he denied it, which was ridiculous. That poor nurse though, I had a complete breakdown on the phone, I'm sure she was not expecting to play marriage counselor that day. Blessings in disguise, though, because he was awful. I am now happily divorced!"
–Anonymous, 41 years, TX
Do you have a story that belongs on this list? Let us know in the comments!
