One baby shower guest was far from pleased when she noticed her son was removed from a few of the soon-to-be mom’s event photos.
In the favoured Reddit subreddit Am I The A**hole, the pregnant guest of honour, who goes by the username u/Lilith_Babes, explained her grievances with the party and attempted to discover whether they thought she was in the wrong for removing her friend’s child from her pictures.
According to the OP [original poster], the original idea for the affair was to make it a “women’s only event,” but her plans were derailed. Her original invites only went out to her close friends and family. Yet, without her permission, invitations were being extended to her guests’ husbands, boyfriends, and children.
“Finally, I said whatever to avoid conflict and I had my fiancé come to the shower as well,” the woman wrote.
The shower was going smoothly in the beginning, but when it came time to open presents, the Redditor was reminded of why she wanted an intimate group.
She said: “When it came time to open presents I had told my son previously that he could help me open some for his baby brother and I thought it would be a great opportunity to get some really cute photos of me, my son, and my fiancé in front of the balloon arch and decorations.”
“Another little boy who is close with my son eagerly asked his mom ‘Can I open presents too!?’” the Reddit user continued. “To which his mom replied: ‘Oh! That sounds like a great idea! Go ask OP’ and when the little boy ran up to me I didn’t know how to tell him no.”
The mom-to-be enlisted the help of her friend and mother to try and talk to the mother of the little boy, but their efforts weren’t effective.
“My mom and my friend tried speaking to his mom quietly without the kid hearing but she insisted ‘OP wouldn’t mind my son is a sweet kid he’d be so happy doing the presents,’” she admitted. “To be clear NOTHING was said in front of the child or with him being able to hear. Needless to say that kid was able to open most of my presents and was in every photo.”
In the end, her politeness resulted in the absence of photos of just her three-member family, as the little boy ended up being in every photo. So, the Redditor decided to Photoshop a few of the images with the two little boys and remove the presence of her son’s friend.
She confessed: “Nobody got any photos of just me and my small family because this kid would not leave my son’s side (they’re friends so I get it).”
“I bit my tongue and sucked it up and later used Photoshop to remove the other kid so I could have a photo of just me, my son, and my fiancé,” the original poster went on. “The mother is very upset with me saying I shouldn’t have removed her son from the photos and that it hurts her feelings I would so easily exclude her son.”
After reading through the pregnant woman’s post, Reddit users rushed to weigh in, adding their opinion on who was in the wrong.
An overwhelming majority backed the original poster, claiming she was “too nice” for allowing children to come in the first place.
“The other mother is out of line and needs to develop some common sense. You’re too nice, I would’ve booted that kid away after he opened one present. It’s not her event, her child has no right to be involved at all,” a supporter commented.
Another added: “I’m saying this with no judgement (I mean on your character, you’re clearly NTA) because I understand setting boundaries is hard but you are allowed to set them and stand up for yourself.”
A few individuals took the opportunity to offer suggestions on how the mom-to-be could’ve handled the situation.
A helpful user pointed out: “You could have taken his mom aside. Think of her as the kid’s ‘point of contact.’ I’d have done it when you tried to get a photo of your family - ‘Listen, I just want a photo of my family alone, can you take [kid’s name] aside for a bit?’”
“Honestly, I’d have told him ‘I don’t know why your mom thinks it’s okay to open others presents, but it’s not. Could you go back to your mother now? I want some pictures of my son and his father,’” another said.
However, others said the mother-to-be was at fault for not advocating for herself and what she wanted out of her party. “Tough love, YTA to yourself for being such a doormat. Pro tip: You have agency in your own life. You are allowed to advocate for yourself,” they wrote.
The Independent has contacted u/Lilith_Babes for comment.