Most common parenting concerns

Every new mum worries about her child; it’s a totally normal part of the job. After all, both of you are new to this and, sadly, babies don’t arrive with instruction manuals. And when there are just so many unknowns it can be easy to panic about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. But relax, you’re not alone! Here’s our guide to the top 10 things all new parents worry about…

SIDS: I’m terrified of SIDS!

Sudden infant death syndrome(SIDS) is the diagnosis given when an otherwise healthy baby dies without warning or apparent cause. It’s scary because there’s no definitive reason for it, but the good news is that the numbers of deaths are declining as our knowledge improves: there’s been an 85 per cent fall in SIDS deaths since 1989. In 2007 in Australia, 71 babies died from SIDS.

Yet it still remains “every parent’s worst fear,” acknowledges Catherine Conyngham, a qualified Mothercraft Nurse and Parentcraft facilitator. “But you can dramatically reduce [the risk of] SIDS if you follow the guidelines for safe sleeping,” she says. These are:
1. Put your baby to sleep on her back
2. Keep her head and face uncovered
3. Avoid exposing her to tobacco smoke, both before and after birth
4. Make sure her cot, mattress and bedding are appropriate and safe
5. Keep her cot next to your bed for her first six to 12 months.

Health: What if my baby has a problem, but the doctors have missed it?

“From the moment your baby arrives, health professionals are on the alert,” reassures Catherine. “In the hospital your baby is seen by paediatricians and midwives, and then if you follow the scheduled visits to the GP and early childhood centres, outlined in the ‘baby book’ given to you in hospital, you’ll find many questions will be asked about your baby.” If you have any specific concerns, make an appointment to talk to your GP, she advises.

Crying: Why is my baby upset all the time?

Your baby can’t tell you how she feels, so she cries. It’s her way of communicating. But as a new parent it can be difficult to work out what she’s trying to say (though this will improve with time). Is she hungry, cold, thirsty, overtired, bored or just looking for a cuddle? In the early days it’s entirely normal for bub to cry for between one and three hours a day, although it may feel like more! “Try a massage, swaddling your child or giving your baby a relaxing bath to calm her,” recommends Catherine.

Feeding:How do I know if my newborn is getting enough to eat?

For a breastfed baby it can be hard to tell, but if your baby is fed regularly your body will be producing the right amount of milk needed. For a formula-fed bub it’s easier to know if she’s getting enough, because you can clearly see how much she’s drinking.

“You can always monitor your baby’s progress by weight gain,” says Catherine. “If your baby is producing six to eight wet or dirty nappies in a 24-hour period and is settled and sleeping between feeds, everything should be fine.”

Needles: Why does my baby need immunisation needles at eight weeks? She’s so little!

At eight weeks old bub will usually be vaccinated against a range of illnesses, including polio and diphtheria (she’s given a hepatitis B needle at birth, too). Although this seems very young, don’t panic! “It’s important to remember that the timing for these immunisationsimmunisations has been planned,” says Dr Carol Cooper, GP and author of Baby & Child: Questions & Answers. “Eight weeks is the best time to be injected because it’s when your baby is able to make the right antibodies in response [and these are what protects her from disease]. It’s the perfect time for the immune system.”

Sleeping: Will my baby ever sleep all night?

Eventually! It can be frustrating when you’re up multiple times a night with a crying baby, but every child is different and does things in their own way and time. “Try to develop a predictable pre-sleep routine for your baby,” Catherine says. This might be a bath, followed by a massage and story. “Also, [get] familiar with re-settling techniques and age-appropriate sleep needs. A one-month-old should need feeding in the night, but a six-month-old usually won’t.” Sadly, there isn’t one fail-safe way to get every single child to sleep through the night, but eventually she will.

Allergies: What if my baby is allergic to something and I don’t know about it?

It’s hard to tell if your baby will have a reaction to anything until they’re actually exposed to it. “It’s not possible to routinely test every baby for every single allergy on a just-in-case basis,” says Dr Cooper. But you can watch your child closely when she encounters new substances to see if there’s any reaction. When you’re introducing solid foods, for example, only introduce one new food at a time to see how your child reacts. See our stories on pages 126 and 133 for more information on allergies.

Fever: If my baby has a high temperature, when should I call the doctor?

It’s hard not to worry when your child is sickchild is sick, but the first thing to remember is fevers rarely do long-term harm. “Yes, it’s distressing for you and the baby,” says Dr Cooper, “but a fever is a symptom [her] body is fighting an infection.”

If your child is younger than three months, you should see a doctor if she has a temperature of 38˚C or more. Babies over six months should see a GP if their temperature is 39˚C or more.
“If the baby is over three months, try giving a dose of children’s paracetamol, reading the instructions carefully first,” Dr Cooper advises.

Coping: Am I a bad mother?

At some point, every new mum questions whether she can handle her new role. There are times when you’re just so tired and overwhelmed, you might find yourself having a good cry along with bub. “It’s natural to go through ups and downs,” says Catherine. If you’re feeling panicked and questioning yourself, “chances are you’re a great mum who’s having a bad day or week,” she assures. “This is when it’s good to have a chat with a friend or loved one about how you feel. Even a five-minute moan can re-energise you.” If you’re worried you might hurt your baby, put her in her cot and go calm down, and be sure to tell your GP how you’re feeling.

Related articles
* SIDS and kids
* Why is my baby crying
* Help baby sleep through the night
* Allergies
* Common childrens illnesses
Postnatal depression