ELECTRIC LADYLAND

OFF SWITCH: HER WANDERING MIND
"Studies have shown women can become turned on and orgasm as quickly as men when they're relaxed," says Dr Erwin Haeberle, author of The Sex Atlas. "The problem is they're more easily distracted during the first stage of arousal." Even if it doesn't clash with Grey's Anatomy. "It's because women are programmed to be responsive to danger," says Peta Heskell, founder of the Attraction Academy (attractionacademy.com). "Will someone walk in? Can the kids hear? The stress stops her body producing oestrogen." And that's a hormone you really need to flow. "It sends blood rushing to the genitals and triggers lubrication," says Dr Lila Nachtigall, author of Oestrogen: The Facts Can Change Your Life!.

TURN HER ON
You don't need a PhD in hormones to manage her body chemistry. "Remove external distractions," says Dr Pam Spurr, author of Fabulous Foreplay. "Bright lights and loud sounds are stressors, so cut them out with mood lighting and soft music." Research by the University of Buffalo in the US found music lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol (they obviously weren't listening to The Young Divas).

Next give her a hand. Or maybe two. "Stroking her skin releases oxytocin," says Dr Diane Witt, professor of psychology at Binghamton University in the US. "And this causes a rush of pleasure-enhancing endorphins."

OFF SWITCH: HER ORGASM
"After orgasm our bodies release a massive hit of dopamine," says sex therapist Marnia Robinson. "It's a feel-good chemical so powerful that lab rats will cross electrically charged metal plates to get a hit." And we humans crave it as much as the rodents.

In order to control such a powerful biological motivator, we've developed a post-passion "off-switch". "Levels of the hormone prolactin soar by 400 per cent, which sends dopamine levels plummeting, and this mechanism shifts attention elsewhere: to hunting and gathering, building shelters and so on," says Robinson. "Without this natural, protective shutdown, we would pursue sex to the exclusion of all other activities."

TURN HER ON
Boil an egg. Or otherwise amuse yourself for three minutes. "This gives her body time to recover from the physiological changes," says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of Touch Me There!: A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots. "After orgasm, her clitoris returns to its pre-arousal position and shrinks slightly. Touch her now and you're rubbing her urethra." And no genie will be popping out.

"There's no way to lower her prolactin levels," says Robinson. "But if you want to encourage round two, the oxytocin released by gentle touch will take her back to the start of the arousal process." But be a gentle man. "Her cervix remains open, and therefore more sensitive, for at least half an hour after orgasm," says Robinson.

OFF SWITCH: HER CLITORIS
If you fail to handle it with care, the bull's-eye isn't the bedroom jackpot you think. "Stimulate her clitoris too early and her moans will be from pain, not pleasure," says Sybil Grae Gerughty, director of US-based female sexuality research centre The Esybron Institute.

"During arousal, blood rushes to erectile tissue in her clitoris, causing it to emerge from under the prepuce (hood). Touch her here before she's ready and you'll be stroking her urethra, which hurts," says Gerughty. "And even if you do find her clitoris, it won't be cushioned by soft erectile tissue, so may be easily bruised." And a bruised clitoris is not a happy clitoris.

TURN HER ON
Slowly. "Start by touching her back, arms and thighs," says Tracey Cox, author of The Sex Doctor. This gives time for her body to respond to the stimulation. "Use both hands to stroke her thighs until they open wider. And when you do go for the bull's-eye, stroke her clitoris through her knickers. If she isn't 100 per cent physically ready, the fabric provides a barrier to prevent over-stimulation and soreness."

OFF SWITCH: YOUR WANDERING FINGERS
"The golden rule in the bedroom is don't change your technique," says Cox. "You may think showing off your repertoire of finger acrobatics will bring her super-strong orgasms. It won't." In a recent survey by the UK's Channel 4 television network, 60 per cent of women complained their partners had left them on the brink by changing technique.

And leaving her dangling is more than just frustrating. "If orgasm doesn't occur after this much stimulation, the uterus and vagina remain engorged with blood, which causes discomfort," warns Dr Gina Itchon, senior lecturer at Xavier University College of Medicine in the Philippines.

TURN HER ON
"It takes the average woman eight minutes of constant stimulation to reach orgasm," says Dr Seymour Fisher, author of Understanding the Female Orgasm. But you can tip her over the edge quicker if you get her to squeeze her thighs, buttocks, stomach and pelvic floor muscles. This simulates her body's natural preparation for orgasm. "The intensity of all of these physical reactions creates sexual tension, which can push her over the edge," says Haeberle.