Mel Greig: I had my vagina steamed

There’s no other way to start this article than to simply go there . . . I had my vagina steamed. I’d heard about the latest trend called the ‘Yoni Steam’ so when “To Wonderland Wellness Spa” offered for me to go in and trial it, the intrigue wouldn’t let me say no.

I mean WTF how the hell does a vagina steam work? I’m picturing my clothes steamer and wondering if I’ll lie there with a wand waving around my lady parts and was the steam wand assuming I had wrinkles and the steam was going to de-wrinkle it like a frock? Or does something happen internally? Let’s not forget that steam is hot. I can’t deal with how fascinated I am, I can’t picture it and I must know how and why my vagina needs to be steamed.

Is it like a refurbishment? A new coat of paint so to speak? I mean it has been closed for business for 6 months so maybe it will bring her out of her coma . . . and how does one prepare for a Yoni Steam? Do I need to wax? (who am I kidding, that hurts too much) I was told to come as you are.

My therapist was Shantell and she was very passionate about the Yoni Steam, she explained to me that it actually has a lot of health benefits. The steam is masked with herbs and given my Endometriosis my selection was designed for inflammation such as Calendula Flowers, Sage, Nettles and Rose Petals . . . . So, basically my vagina was about to smell like a bouquet of flowers and as Fergie would sing but slightly different . . . I’m herb-a-licious.

We talk through the process and I discover that I’m basically going to sit on a special chair that has a giant hole in the middle, directly underneath that hole will be a steam pot of my herbs and I’ll sit over the steam. Picture hovering over a delicious cup of herbal tea, that’s the process (don’t do that though) my pores would open, and the herbs will soak into my Yoni and reproductive system.

You sit there for 10 to 20mins and at the start you realise that the sensation feels really nice . . . kind of like the hot air at the end of a spray tan that’s blown on you, you know it’s not meant to feel good, but you can’t help it. During the steam we do some meditation and find our Zen, part of this process is spiritual, and I love that.

After the steam I had an incredible abdominal release massage and combined it just felt so rejuvenating. It really does help you re-connect with your body, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and it’s not as daunting as you might think.

There are plenty of other health benefits from the Yoni steam too including fertility but it’s also just a nice way to prepare for a romantic weekend away and get yourself herb-a-licious . . . even ask the hubby what herbs he likes . . . Nek minute he’s asking to sprinkle paprika on your Yoni.

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