Mel Greig: Why aren’t women offered a 'Happy ending?'

I’m currently on a holiday in Bali and at this time of the year, you’re bound to run into people you know.

So while on the street yesterday my friend *Alan was telling me that he’d only been here for four days and already he’d been asked three times while getting massages if he would like ‘Special Massage’.

Apparently, that’s the classier way to say ‘Happy ending’ these days even though I’m pretty sure it’s illegal in Bali and not as common as it is in Thailand.

I felt offended listening to his theatrical banter of being asked if he wanted sexual favours only I’m not offended by the context – I’m offended that I’ve had over 8 massages and haven’t been asked once if I wanted a ‘Special massage’ . . . why aren’t women offered ‘Happy endings?’

I needed to investigate the matter, do I want one? I’m not sure. But I’d like the option to choose.

I think most women can relate to how sensual and relaxing a body massage can be and you can find yourself thinking about how the massage strokes can become quite close to your intimate areas and wonder what the next stage could feel like.

So, the next time I went to get a massage I asked my female masseuse if she provided ‘Special Massage’ as I was so curious to see what she would say (at this point no, I didn’t want one it’s just called research).

She looked at me blankly and called one of the other girls over and told me to repeat what I said . . . “Ummm ‘Special massage’” and she too looked at me blankly so I pointed to my lady garden and they both burst into hysterical laughter. I’m now too embarrassed to get my normal massage in case I get a special massage and I leave.

At this point, I’m still mortified at asking for a ‘Special massage’ but not defeated into finding out how it works.

I’d built a comfortable rapport with my driver, so I asked him about what services there were in Bali for women and why it’s all about satisfying the man. He dropped a golden nugget on me – I didn’t see this coming.

He said, “Go to Kuta and book a surfing lesson”

At this point, I’m very confused but he continued, “You will notice they will give you flirty eyes, you need to read their body language and you need to reciprocate it and encourage what you want if you are comfortable.”

Now I’m even more intrigued and he drops the nugget… “They are the male Gigolos of Bali, sometimes they won’t even charge you.”

Now, let’s just assume it’s not every guy teaching surfing lessons because that will become highly awkward. But WOW. Ladies, apparently, we don’t need a special massage place because we have the Bali Bra Boys ready to serve us.

I haven’t tried it and I don’t think I will, but at least we know we too have options for ‘Happy endings’ on holidays if we desire. You’re welcome.

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