How To Talk To Your Kids About The #sydneysiege

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In the aftermath of Sydney's horror siege, which left three people dead, a sense of disbelief hangs over the country. There are still plenty of questions left unanswered - and if there's one question that Dr Suzanna Fay-Ramirez, a lecturer in criminology at the University of Queensland, has been asked repeatedly in the past 24 hours it's: what do we tell children?

"It's a very difficult balance for parents - particularly as we - as adults - are still very new at dealing with the idea of terrorism in our country," says Dr Fay-Ramirez, who is a sociologist and also works in the area of child maltreatment and wellbeing project.

Dr Fay-Ramirez says there are several things to keep in mind when explaining yesterday's Sydney Siege to young children.

The first is to be honest. "There's a tendency to want to shelter our children from [what happened]. But at the same time we need to give them the tools to cope with what they see."

"The issue is that children know there's something up - they can sense our own anxiety," she says. If parents don't explain what's going on children may feel "more anxious", she adds.

However, Dr Fay-Ramirez cautions that any information given to young children needs to be age-appropriate. "For example a 11 year-old or a 12 year-old has a much better understanding of death than a five or six-year-old."

Overexposure to graphic violence has been shown to harm children, and for very young children it may be enough to explain that "some people have died because of something that happened in the city" without having to provide graphic details.

Finally, Dr Fay-Ramirez suggests that when talking to children it may help to also focus on the positive that has emerged in the aftermath of the tragedy - such as the hashtag #Illridewithyou (see below). "What's great about [that hashtag] is the sense of community cohesion which helps people feel safe ... and the exact same thing applies to children."

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