Married At First Sight star Melissa Sheppard sat down with Yahoo Lifestyle to unpack her experience on season 10.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: Hi. It's Mel from MAFS. Today I'm going to be watching my biggest moment from season 10 with Yahoo Lifestyle.
I am so excited.
[INAUDIBLE] like a mom is going wild. I feel--
Oh, I love her.
The girl next door, but I like to see myself actually as a little freak in the sheets. Bye, bye, regular mom. Warning. Warning. I am sexy. I am loud. And I love to spice things up. I love role play. Sex is huge for me.
- If someone is like vanilla?
MELISSA SHEPPARD: Are they ready for me to spice up their life?
I love her. First things first watching that clip, I love her. I feel like she's me. She brings high energy. You know, I do wear lacey underwear. I do like to be a little sexy in the bedroom. And I think there's nothing wrong with that.
I did get asked a question, do I see myself vanilla or a freak in the sheets? If I had my time again, sometimes I'm thinking, I should have said vanilla. But I'd be lying. So they're not typical words, freak in the sheets, that I would call myself, sexually confident, maybe.
Oh, he's very handsome.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: Oh, he's very handsome.
- I'm Josh.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: I'm Mel.
- Hey, nice to meet you.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: Oh.
- Do we hold?
- Yes, you do.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: It's sad because I know the outcome of that.
- I'm OK.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: He was shaking.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: It brings me to tears to see that because there was genuinely two honest, open people ready for love meeting at that altar. And it makes me so sad because I know the outcome of those two people.
I asked for someone confidant, someone that was sure about themselves, and someone basically that could handle my high energy. Josh and I got completely opposites of, I believe, what we both asked for. I'm sure Josh would have asked for someone not as loud, probably completely opposite of me, too.
Looking back now, it was just going to be a matter of time before it was going to explode. I think I was going to be always too much for Josh. And then it was going to happen. So sad to see because I see the vulnerability of two beautiful people standing at the altar in front of all their friends and family, believing the experiment.
I know Josh believed the experiment, too. We went in both so naive. And I look back at that and just think, [BLEEP], man, we went in both blindsided and what we both didn't know, what was about to happen in the next three to four weeks, is soul destroying.
They asked you if you've had [INAUDIBLE] there, right?
- I have a few times. And I just said no.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: You lied.
Why would you lie?
- I mean, I've got some integrity, where I keep some things for us.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: That's really [BLEEP]. He's been lying about it. I can't believe it. It was a lie.
You can say that you [BLEEP] me and that we've had sex. And that's OK.
Why are you lying?
- I would never phrase it like that. No, I understand what you're saying.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: You're just so conservative about it. It's not a problem. I'm not asking for shots. And I'm not asking for videos. There's no diary cam. I've asked [BLEEP].
Whoa. We're on our honeymoon. We just got married. We're on a reality television show. It's not something that I like to voice out and say to everyone, hey, I just had sex with my husband. When I asked the question, I was trying to be honest and real with the viewers.
Have you been intimate with your husband? It's a yes or no question. Yeah. Move on. They don't ask you where. They don't ask you how. They don't ask you where you did it, how many times you did it.
So watching this clip back, I feel that Josh is like denying it. Is he embarrassed? Is he embarrassed that he slept with me? He could have told me. Why did you not make a pact with me and say, hey, Mel, I'm really conservative. Like, we never spoke about it.
So when this was shot, I was so shocked because to see that he was denying that he had sex with me, I was hurt. After that clip, that's when our relationship started to go down.
Do you have a problem with intimacy, Josh? And I'm too much for you. And you don't know what to do.
- I'm too much for you.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: I am, Josh. And I'm going to speak my truth to every goddamn woman in the world.
- Oh, hallelujah.
MELISSA SHEPPARD: Yeah, you have a problem with someone getting close to you. And that's on you. I can't break down these walls. I don't know. When I'm trying to get close to you, you lock up. This is what you do, or you walk away.
That's the reality of our relationship. I went through a divorce before, 10 years ago. And I worked on myself really hard. And I went to relationship counselors. And what I got out mostly of that, regarding intimacy, like sexual intimacy, is five love languages. And sex and intimacy, it's just one part.
So what I got out of that was a healthy appetite for sex with your husband to be close together is around about two to three times a week. It's very different for a lot of relationships. Sometimes it's not. They can have sex one time a week, or they could do more.
But anyway, for myself being on the experiment, that's what I was just trying to get across. Intimacy for me in a relationship, sexual intimacy is important to me. And for Josh it just isn't. And I was just really, really concerned that I would be friends with this guy very, very soon if we didn't have that spark or that flame burning, which we didn't it. It started off really, really hot and heavy. And then it just fizzled out really, really quick.
Mama bear is back in the house.
I love her.
I feel fantastic. I look amazing. If I'm on the moon tonight, let me tell you, the rest of the world will see me sparkling.
Oh, I love that dress.
All right. I'm open, single, and ready to mingle.
Well, she's a lot, isn't she? Well, I've learned from that to now is just to be yourself. It's going to come out if you're fake or pretending or you're pretending to be something you're not. I'm here to shed love and light.
And I like who I am. And this is the thing. I like me. And I just want the public to see that there's other elements of me, beside this sexual little being. I believe, also, you attract your tribe. You know, like your vibe attracts your tribe.
I believe there's lots of women and men, just like me, that are sexually confident and body confident. And that's who I'm vibing with. I'm not looking back. I'm not looking back at the trolls. And I really want to move forward. I just really hope that I can really keep pushing through and show people who I am and just be body positive and be a positive role model for everybody. That's really what I hope.