Yahoo Lifestyle Just 24 Of The Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
Rounding up the funniest tweets by women each week took a brief hiatus, but we're back, baby!!! So let's not waste any time and get right to it! Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter:
1.
charli xcx is short for charles xavier charles xavier
— Rebecca Alter (@ralter) August 27, 2024
2.
Marriage is for texts like this pic.twitter.com/G0Ga8CzyGv
— Claire (@clairecdowns) August 30, 2024
3.
i talk about men in their early twenties the way mothers talk about their toddlers… “he’s still working on expressing his feelings but he is learning to be curious and is starting to ask a lot of questions”
— 🌟ivy🌟 (@wolktress) September 2, 2024
4.
Has anyone figured out how to leave home without spending $40?
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) September 3, 2024
5.
My 9yo on holding a very new baby: "she is so cute... the size of four rats 🥰"
— sarah (@sarahradz_) September 3, 2024
6.
don't let the nerds take the last days of summer from us. they want it to end so they can tweet from inside the home about drinking soup and wearing scarves. this is an annual battle we've historically lost because there are more of them but enough is enough.
— joanie (@laracroftbarbie) September 3, 2024
7.
my sister, since we’re at a 10-hour time difference now, which means that she lives “in the future” pic.twitter.com/0IfaSI57ZZ
— “paula” (@paularambles) September 2, 2024
8.
shrek 2 is a labor day movie because there’s a scene where shrek gains the trust of fairy godmother’s worker by saying he’s from a labor union.
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) September 2, 2024
9.
I’m tired of complaining about being hot, I’m ready to complain about being cold
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 3, 2024
10.
sending instagram food links to your partner that say "this looks good" for recipes neither of you will ever make is a type of love language
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 4, 2024
11.
museums should be open till like midnight, i don't want to go to the club i wanna go look at art or fossils
— Nikki🐸 (@nikkineups) September 2, 2024
12.
I feel like humans got by just fine for thousands of years without a loud device designed to move dry leaves around
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) September 4, 2024
13.
I have to tell a client that the ship carrying her countertops is being held up by pirates and it is too early for this right now
— saddy mayonnaise (@saddymayo) September 3, 2024
14.
Saw the washing machine only had 6 minutes left so I decided to wait in the basement until it was done. That was 4 hours ago.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) September 2, 2024
15.
"It's a real fixer upper."-me referring to my current state of mind
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) September 3, 2024
16.
a 20 pic ig carousel…… girl if you don’t go make a facebook album
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 3, 2024
17.
When my friend is ready to gossip and be mean about somebody I also want togossip and be mean about pic.twitter.com/AueLDYOR9T
— Grip Bayless✨ (@talleyberrybaby) September 3, 2024
18.
Me lying at work: https://t.co/p2xypj8bzI
— M 🖤 (@mxvszn) September 2, 2024
19.
Probably a better way to combine the words “portable” and “monitor” pic.twitter.com/9F6My585Qi
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) September 3, 2024
20.
I don't like the person I become when I ask my husband to do something and he tells me he’ll “do it later.”
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 4, 2024
21.
I finally did it, I asked a man on the tube who was watching football out loud on his phone “got any headphones mate?” AND HE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGISED AND MUTED IT - I am the dragon I am the ball I am the z
— Natasha Hodgson (@NatashaHodgson) September 3, 2024
22.
Quit it with the 3/4 length sleeves. I’m trying to live my life.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) September 3, 2024
23.
one time my ex told me he had "never been" to the produce section of the grocery store before
— anna livia 💚 (@not_a_heather) September 4, 2024
24.
It is absolutely wild to see the consequences of millennials entering peak buying power pic.twitter.com/hiRQlPWLvS
— Chappell Ellison (@ChappellTracker) September 2, 2024
Again, make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter! Your feed will thank you.
