I'm too old for Lena Dunham's 'feminism'

Lena Dunham’s latest Instagram post is a celebration of getting older, of coming to terms with her body, and of personal empowerment.

Accompanying a shot of herself reclining languorously on a bed in beautiful lingerie, Lena writes, “I’ve spent a lot of time in this life feeling like too much. Too hungry. Too anxious. Too loud. Too needy. Too sick. Too dramatic. Too honest. Too sexy (jk lol.)”

“I was always sent the message, in insidious ways,” she continues, “that I took up too much room and demanded too much from life and sometimes gave too much to people who didn’t want any at all. But something has changed, and it started when I realized: I don’t have to be *for* everybody, and that for the right people, my too much is just enough. My too much also means I have room for their too much and we can take turns too muching all over each other.

“At 32: I weigh the most I ever have. I love the most I ever have. I read and write and laugh the most I ever have. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Not the frail, precarious happiness of “things are going perfectly.” The big, generous, jiggly happiness of “I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of this.” Not too much… Just enough.”

It’s an uplifting, heartening message of empowerment, acceptance and the freedom of women to assert themselves, to exist proudly in the world even when they don’t quite fit the supposedly ideal model of femininity.

So why does it irritate me so much?? Why does this strong, self-confident post make me want to yell, ‘Oh, just f*ck OFF, Lena’?

Listen, I am a feminist. Always have been, always will be. I was a feminist before this current iteration of trendy T-shirt Instagram feminism, and I will be after the cycle of fashion turns again and everyone thinks it’s embarrassing to identify as feminist.

I support other women. I love the women who raised me, the colleagues who’ve supported me in my career, and all my longstanding female friends – and I want my daughter to grow up knowing that female empowerment is a core value of our household.

So here’s why Lena’s post shits me so much: it’s pure adolescent drivel, and she’s THIRTY TWO. By conventional markers, she’s a grown woman. A woman who was the show runner for one of the decade’s most talked-about, socially pivotal TV series. She owns her own apartment. She has a dog. She’s self sufficient. Let’s be honest: she’s more than self sufficient – she’s rich.

And yet, every few weeks, Lena’s followers are treated to one of these posts about how she’s finally come into her own, how she’s finally accepted herself for who she is, how she loves her imperfect body and how she doesn’t need anyone’s approval.

That’s great for her, but we don’t need to hear it over and over again.

I’m so, so tired of Instagram posts posturing as empowerment, when simple logic tells us that the urge to parade that supposed strength and independence for likes suggests the exact opposite.

True confidence doesn’t need the world to weigh in to give it validity. Emotional adults don’t feel the need to constantly explore and broadcast their feelings about themselves and their identities.

So this isn’t really just about Lena. It’s about the insidious way that Instagram has co-opted people’s self esteem to the point where they genuinely believe that asking the public for emotional validation is actually a form of strength and not the narcissistic navel gazing it really is.

So. Insta-feminists (and Lena). How about you do something really radical… and stop attention seeking?

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