Yahoo Lifestyle Michelle Yeoh Recalled The “Brave” Decision To End Her First Marriage After She Couldn’t “Give Him The Family That He Craves For”
You know Michelle Yeoh. She’s the Oscar-winning star of movies like Tomorrow Never Dies, Crazy Rich Asians, and Everything Everywhere All at Once — a pretty big deal.
And as she promotes her next role in one of the biggest movies of the year, Wicked, Michelle has talked in detail about the feelings of “failure” she experienced over being unable to have children.
During a conversation about infertility struggles on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Nov. 18, Michelle recalled her strong desire to have kids during her first marriage to Sir Dickson Poon, the Hong Kong business tycoon she wed in 1988.
“It wasn’t for lack of trying because I have always, and still do, love babies,” she said. “I believe that it’s a woman’s choice. It’s your choice whether you want to have children, and it shouldn’t be imposed on you…but I always wanted to have children.”
Michelle said that the hope to grow a big family was “very clear” in her marriage to Dickson, leading her to seek fertility treatment to “aid in the process.” But looking back, she recalled the pain and defeat she experienced with each cycle they failed to conceive.
“This was a marriage about having children, next generation, and all that,” she said. “I think the worst moment to go through is every month you feel like such a failure... And then you go, ‘Why?’”
Michelle said her inability to have kids was the “main factor” in her divorce from Dickson in 1992. Now, she urges younger couples to have serious conversations about kids and family planning “right at the beginning” of the relationship to hopefully avoid “a lot of hurt” later down the line.
“You also have to understand, these are conversations that you really have to have with yourself and be able to look ahead and think, Yes, we love each other very much now, but in 10 years or 20 years, I still can’t give him the family that he craves for,” she said.
“That’s why this dialogue between a couple is so important,” she emphasized. “If one wants [something] and the other doesn’t, this is something you have to face right at the beginning because, along the way, there will be a lot of hurt…so I think it was very brave on our path to admit, to say, ‘Okay, let’s not drag this out.’”
After their marriage ended amicably, Michelle and her ex remained on friendly terms, and she even talked proudly in the interview about being the godmother to the eldest of his five children.
Having previously said that not having kids of her own is the “biggest sadness” in her life, Michelle opened up about overcoming the heartbreak and finally being able to stop holding herself accountable.
“I think at some point, you stop blaming yourself,” she said. “There are certain things in your body that doesn't function in a certain way. That's how it is. You just have to let go and move on. And I think you come to a point where you have to stop blaming you.”
In 2004, Michelle met motor racing executive Jean Todt in Shanghai, and today, the pair are happily married. What’s more, she recently became a grandmother to her stepson’s child.
“I’m 62. Of course, I’m not going to have a baby right now, but the thing is we just had a grandchild,” she said. “Then you feel you’re still very, very blessed because you do have a baby in your life.”
You can find Michelle’s full interview on Woman’s Hour here.
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