“He Doesn’t Like His Wife”: People Are Accusing This Husband Of Weaponized Incompetence After A Viral “Miscommunication” Happened Over Kiwis

At this point, we're no strangers to the hotly debated topic of weaponized incompetence (i.e., someone's refusal to do common household activities by claiming they're "not good at it"). While anyone can be accused of doing this, the conversation usually revolves around heterosexual relationships where men don't equally share tasks that are traditionally considered "women's work" — like laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. — with their partner by seemingly pretending to be bad at or not understanding them.

A prime example was the viral trend of women squeezing ketchup on their kitchen counters and asking their male partners to clean it. While the challenge was meant to be funny, it also highlighted the disturbing reality that men are not typically expected to perform tasks like cleaning ketchup off a counter very well (or at all).

Now, a new food debacle has more folks asking: Is this weaponized incompetence? A few weeks ago, the podcast That's How You Feel?! posted a video to TikTok about a "bad communication" incident between co-host Caleb and his wife.

"I was telling my spouse, 'I'm gonna go to Costco,'" he starts explaining, "And what she said was that kiwis are on sale, and I said, 'Okay.'"

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

Caleb continues, addressing his co-host and podcast guest, "Tell me if I'm wrong if I don't buy kiwis."

tiktok.com / Via @thatshowyoufeelshow

Caleb's podcast guest then answers, "You're not just wrong because you didn't buy kiwis; you're wrong because you didn't qualify that statement with clarity."

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

His guest gives an example of how Caleb could get some clarity by asking, "Would you like some?" but admits that his spouse was also at fault for the miscommunication.

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

"Oh, that's the point: she's at fault," Caleb responds but then continues to say that he did, in fact, buy the kiwis. He mentions that after his spouse told him kiwis were on sale, he clarified her statement by saying, "What you mean to say is, 'Can you buy kiwis?'"

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

At this point, Caleb's co-host, Levi, chimes in and asks, "Why you gotta have that energy with her?"

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

Both Levi and the podcast guest gave two alternatives to how Caleb could've gotten clarity: by asking something like, "Would you like me to get some?" or "How many would you like?" Levi's main takeaway: "Be kind to your spouse."

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

Caleb defends himself by insisting it was "bad communication." Levi says the so-called "bad communication" was on Caleb's part, and their guest says this mishap was "on both parts."

@thatshowyoufeelshow / Via tiktok.com

The video now has over one million views and almost 8,000 comments, most of which are not on Caleb's side. Levi's responses to his co-host definitely seemed to resonate with folks who agreed that there was probably a kinder way to respond to "kiwis are on sale."

Others were questioning if this really was "bad communication," considering Caleb knew what his spouse meant when he responded to her.

And, then, there are people pointing out the weaponized incompetence of it all, with even bolder claims that "he doesn't like his wife."

But it doesn't stop there. Since going viral, other creators have stitched the infamous kiwi video with their opinions on the matter. TikToker @Soundsliketara's stitch, for example, garnered three million views. In her video, she equates saying, "Kiwis are on sale," to a coworker telling you, "Michelle brought some bagels from Panera; they're in the break room." She continues, "Would you stop me and say, 'Oh, did she bring them to share? Is there enough for everybody? Should I get up and help myself?' No, because you would not require any additional information."

She goes on to explain, "Men only complain about that when it's a woman saying it because, in any other context, you know [that] two plus two is four."

Another hypothetical she gives is your partner asking you to "throw the kids' laundry in the wash," but you never put them in the dryer. "You did that on purpose," she says, "you know that the laundry has two steps."

In the same vein, TikToker @_smoothsayer compares the whole situation to a man telling his friend there's beer in the fridge. "Do you think he's just wanting you to know that he has beer in his fridge, or is he offering you a beer?" Going back to the kiwi debate, he continues, "So when your wife or your girlfriend is like, 'Oh, you're going to the grocery store? The kiwis are on sale,' do you think she just wants you to know this random miscellaneous piece of information? Or is she telling you, 'Hey, pick up some kiwis.'"

Comments largely echoed a majority of people's thoughts from the original video, pointing out that it wasn't bad communication after all but instead, an "opportunity to criticize and correct" his wife.

Creator and dating coach Life With Shawnda also pointed to the larger conversation of weaponized incompetence and how men "feign ignorance" in her video. "Because why not just ask for clarity? You didn't want clarity because you didn't wanna do it, and you probably didn't wanna go," she says, "Not asking her is how he preserved plausible deniability."

It's safe to say people are less than thrilled with how this "kiwi" situation was handled, and it's opened up a wider conversation about how we speak to our partners and the telltale signs of weaponized incompetence.

What do you think of the "kiwi debate"? Is it just bad communication, or is there something bigger going on here? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.