Yahoo Lifestyle Divorced Men Are Sharing The Moment They Knew They Would Walk Out On Their Spouse, And Their Stories Were Truly Surprising
We recently asked the divorced men of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the moment they knew they would divorce their spouse. Here are the moments that made them leave and never look back:
1."She disrespected my mom. You can’t disrespect mama—that’s an automatic double technical foul, and you’re outta here."
—Anonymous
2."The moment I realized that I was more exhausted at the thought of going home to spend time with my spouse than I was after a full day of work in a particularly physical, dangerous job was heartbreaking. My sanctuary was my life-threatening job, not my spouse."
—Anonymous
3."She never treated my dog well. One day, he bit her. She told me it was her or the dog. Guess which relationship ended that day? My loving, eight-year best friend of my life or my marriage? Yup!"
—Anonymous
4."Two moments told me the future was in trouble. The first one was when a career opportunity presented itself. When we talked it over and I mentioned that a move to another city was a possibility, her response was, 'You’ll move by yourself!' The second time was while we were discussing final burial arrangements. I mentioned that I would like to be buried near my father in a rural 100-year-old cemetery. Her response: 'You’ll be buried by yourself!' No conversation, no 'What’s your thinking?' No discussion."
5."I was in my late 30s and embarking on a major creative project I had wanted to do for years. We had been married for more than 10 years at the time. She was assisting me with the project when I snapped at her out of nowhere. My outburst had nothing to do with the content of her statement, and, in fact, it took me years to realize why I blew up. Clingy isn’t a great word, but it sort of applies. She always wanted to do everything together and got offended if I said I was 'helping' her rather than 'doing it with' her. I snapped that day because some part of me felt like she was taking a 'me' thing and making it a 'we' thing. I knew things were irretrievably broken after that. In hindsight, I realized that the only way we 'solved' anything as a couple was for me to make a sacrifice. At that point, I felt like I had nothing left to give."
6."The day my wife told me my primary love language of physical connection was dysfunctional and not equivalent to her love language for emotional connection was painful. From her perspective, I was just looking to get laid and always had the option to pleasure myself. Yes, because every time I do that, I feel so much closer to her."
—Anonymous
7."She told me she never loved me. She said she loved the way I treated her and her daughter and that she said yes because she thought she’d fall in love with me over time."
—Anonymous
8."After almost seven years, mostly living separate lives—including separate bank accounts and filing taxes separately—I had to figure out how to get home after a business trip when my truck broke down three hours from home. Her reasoning was that it was easier for me to figure out how to get home than for her to put our two young kids in the car to come get me. I hitchhiked two hours in the opposite direction of home. Her family met me and gave me a ride to the airport to get a rental. I made it back just in time for our daughter’s birthday."
—Anonymous
9."My ex-wife and I were in marriage counseling, and she canceled an appointment. I told her she should reschedule when it was convenient for her. She never did, and I asked for a divorce three weeks after the canceled appointment."
10."One of my favorite groups was going to be in town for a concert. I asked my wife if she wanted to go. She said no, but I bought an extra ticket just in case. Two months later, as I was getting ready to leave for the concert, she decided she wanted to go. I was happy and pulled out the extra ticket. While at the concert, I felt like it was a perfect night and a beautiful experience. I was glad she was there to experience it with me. Halfway through the concert, she got bored and wanted to leave. I told her to leave, and I would catch an Uber. She insisted I leave with her. During the grand finale, she pushed past me, walked to the end of the row, and stood there glaring at me until the song and the concert ended. I thought, 'Never again will she be present if I know it’s going to be a beautiful experience.' But life is all about sharing peak experiences with those you love. I knew it was over."
11."When I found out she was cheating with my best friend."
12."I had signed a really nice contract, and we were doing well financially, better than ever. She always seemed to use it as a token during small fights. The final straw was after a night of drinking when she taunted me for 'thinking I was big because I made all this money now.' I had gone after the money to buy us a nice property to raise our future kids together. It was a sobering moment, and I knew then what I had to do. So glad we never had the kids."
—Anonymous
13."I was about to complete my MBA when I got laid off, and she suddenly questioned why I was going to school because 'we' had to pay for half of the semester bill out of pocket instead of the company paying for it. I supported her when she was doing her graduate degree. I finished my MBA, divorced her, and successfully built a business for the past three years. This nice lady (mother of my boys) became a brick around my neck. Sad!"
—Anonymous
14."We married very young in a small Midwest farm town. Two kids and nine years later, we were living separate lives. I drank, she didn’t, no sex, and she called me every night at work to chew me out. I wanted to move (her family lived one mile away). She refused. I offered to go to couples therapy, and she refused. I knew right then it was over. After I left, our entire social circle begged me to stay with her. Walking away was the best decision I ever made."
—Anonymous
15.And finally, "After years of marriage, the weight of our differences finally became too much to bear. The love we once had was slowly eroded by time and unresolved conflicts. My wife and I grew apart, our conversations turning into arguments and our home into a battlefield of resentment. The final straw came when I discovered she had been struggling with issues she never shared with me—secrets that revealed how disconnected we had become. I tried to help, but the walls between us were too high, the distance too great. I realized that staying together was not only harming us but also the future of our family."
—Anonymous
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Now I want divorced women to tell us the moment they knew they would leave their spouse. Tell us in the comments (or use this Google Form if you want to be anonymous).
