Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 12 Behaviors

Raising a child is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups, downs and unexpected turns, which can mean sometimes the ride can get a little bumpy. But that’s all part of the wild, magical experience of childhood, where each twist is a step toward a youngster discovering who they truly are. While it’s true that children’s behaviors can be ignored from time-to-time by their loved ones, there are a few things that parents and grandparents should never turn a blind eye to.

However, figuring out what those exact behaviors are can be tricky as you don’t want to correct every single misstep, but you also want to make sure your kids/grandkids are on the right path. That’s why we reached out to child psychologists Dr. Caroline Danda, Dr. Rachel Goldman and Dr. Caitlin Slavens. Together, they highlight which behaviors should never be overlooked so you can use their expertise to help your kids and grandkids grow into their best selves.

Keep reading to see if you’ve been disregarding any of the behaviors that they mention you shouldn’t. That way, if you’re guilty of doing so, you can start addressing them ASAP. Once you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by some of the benefits they say can result from making these simple changes.

Related: 6 Things a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Doing ASAP

12 Behaviors Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Ignore

1. Hitting/Physical Aggression

“If a child’s behavior is putting someone at risk of getting hurt, or injured, and it is a safety issue, this should never be ignored and needs to be addressed immediately,” Goldman states.

Slavens adds, “When a child hits someone, it’s tempting to chalk it up to them being ‘just a kid,’ but turning a blind eye to that action teaches them that aggression is an acceptable way to solve problems. Addressing it, however, shows them how to use their words instead of their hands to express frustration.”

Related: 12 Phrases Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying to an Oldest Child

2. Name-calling/Mean Language

“Words can be incredibly painful to others,” Slavens tells Parade. “If a child calls others names, it’s a sign they need help understanding empathy and how their words affect others. When parents or grandparents dismiss that behavior, it risks letting them think it’s okay to demean people.”

Danda agrees and mentions, “Research shows that a good rule of thumb is kids need a 5:1 ratio of attention to positive behaviors versus correction or direction.”

3. Isolating Themselves Excessively

Sure, alone time is something everyone craves at some point, but our experts say if you as a parent or grandparent notice that this is happening more and more with a child, you need to step in.

“It’s normal for older kids to enjoy alone time, but if they’re constantly withdrawing from family and friends, it may signal feelings of depression or feeling overwhelmed. Reaching out with curiosity (not judgment) can open the door for conversation and support,” Slavens states.

Related: 12 Phrases Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Stop Saying to a Youngest Child

4. Disregarding Rules or Boundaries

If you notice your kids or grandkids keep breaking rules you set for them, Slavens suggests you speak up instead of constantly giving them second chances or bypassing what they did.

“When kids repeatedly ignore boundaries, they test what they can get away with,” she explains. “Consistently enforcing limits teaches them self-discipline and helps them feel secure, even if they grumble about it.”

5. Bullying Behavior

“Whether it’s subtle exclusion or blatant intimidation, any type of bullying shouldn’t be brushed off,’” Slavens says. “Kids who bully others often have underlying struggles, and parents and grandparents stepping in early can help stop the cycle before it escalates.”

Goldman adds, “It’s a safety issue and could also turn into a bigger emotional issue if not properly addressed.”

Related: 13 Things Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying to a Middle Child

6. Frequent Tantrums

If you have kids or grandchildren, chances are, you’re familiar with tantrums. And while you may decide not to give a child more attention when they are having them, our experts reveal that if this continues as they get older, it’s best to face the situation head-on.

“Meltdowns are expected in toddlers, but for older kids, they often signal unregulated emotions or unmet needs,” Slavens explains. “Ignoring these moments doesn’t help them learn how to manage their big feelings.”

Danda elaborates on the behavior more, saying, “Tantrums occur when children (and teenagers) experience overwhelming emotions and aren’t able to communicate their problem effectively. Rather than immediately ignoring this behavior, make a statement about what they might be feeling and the situation. After validating feelings and needs, then give space and time to calm before moving on or problem-solving.”

7. Hurting Animals

Violence or bullying other kids aren’t the only behaviors our experts want parents and grandparents to look out for. How kids treat and interact with animals, such as pets and wildlife they may encounter is important too.

“Any mistreatment of animals is a red flag for more profound emotional struggles or a lack of empathy and shouldn’t be ignored,” Slavens reveals.

Related: 11 Things a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Doing

8. Signs of Hopelessness or Suicidal Thoughts

If your child or grandchild has been having suicidal thoughts, our experts say you should take it seriously. By actually addressing the topic and getting them help, you could save their life.

“You don’t ever want to ignore these signs. You need to take this seriously,” Goldman instructs.

9. Extreme Clinginess or Fear of Independence

“While it’s natural for young children to need reassurance, if they refuse to try anything new or constantly seek comfort, it may signal underlying anxiety,” Slavens explains. “Addressing this gently helps them build confidence and resilience.”

Related: 18 Phrases To Use With Your Adult Kids That Will Transform Your Relationship, According to Psychologists

10. Regression

One thing parents and grandparents may not consider calling out and instead turn a blind eye to is a child regressing at certain things.

However, Goldman says that by doing so, it may lead to more harm than good.

“For instance, if a child was toilet trained, but then they start wetting their bed, this could be a sign of having difficulties adjusting to something and there is typically a reason that a child regresses, so it needs to be properly assessed and addressed,” she explains.

11. Excessive Lying

“Kids need to learn that behaviors, like lying, are not okay, which is why you shouldn't let them get away with it if it keeps happening,” Goldman shares. 

Slavens agrees, telling Parade, “Some lies are age-appropriate, like claiming they didn’t eat the last cookie when they have crumbs on their faces. However, if lying becomes habitual, it can decrease the trust others have in them.”

12. Disrespecting Authority

Kids need to learn that although they may not always agree with everyone else, they need to respect others,” Goldman notes.

Slavens points out, “Eye-rolling or outright defiance can feel minor, but acknowledging these behaviors early is essential as having respect for authority sets the stage for how kids interact with teachers, employers, and others later in life.”

Related: A Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Adopt These 10 'House Rules' ASAP

When You Stop Doing These Things, What Are the Benefits?

Our experts share that children can experience several benefits when you make this simple change and stop turning a blind eye to the behaviors above. They include:

Emotional Awareness

“Kids will learn that emotions are okay and that their parents and grandparents will listen to them. This will help them develop better emotional awareness and regulation,” Danda points out.

Improved Self-esteem and Confidence

“Boundaries create a sense of safety and predictability/familiarity, which can all help boost confidence,” Goldman explains. “When children are then successful at meeting expectations, and receive positive reinforcement, they then have a sense of accomplishment and feel good, which will help boost their self-esteem and their knowledge of knowing they can do it.”

Better Communication Skills

“By guiding your child to express their needs and feelings respectfully, they will become more effective communicators with peers and adults,” Slavens reveals.

Goldman adds, “This can result in a stronger relationship between a parent or grandparent and child and lead to one that is built on trust and respect.”

Accountability

“By not ignoring these behaviors, it’ll teach children that their actions have consequences,” Goldman explains. “They will then start to understand how their behaviors impact themselves, as well as others.”

More Compassion

“By actively attending to these behaviors, you’ll raise children who more readily demonstrate kindness,” Danda says.

Slavens agrees, adding, “You’ll help them nurture a sense of responsibility and care for others because helping kids connect kindness with their actions fosters compassion and responsibility.”

Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills

“When parents and grandparents correct a child’s behavior, they are also teaching them how to make better choices independently,” Goldman shares. “Children will benefit from that and begin to develop problem-solving skills as they start to understand that actions have consequences, and they have choices to make that will yield different consequences.”

Up Next:

Related: 5 Phrases a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying

Sources

• Dr. Caroline Danda, child psychologist

• Dr. Rachel Goldman, child psychologist

• Dr. Caitlin Slavens, child psychologist