Catering for a wedding can be difficult given the wide array of dietary restrictions the guests invited may have.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one bride-to-be explained that she had plans to put strawberries on her wedding cake, even though her mother is “mildly” allergic to them.
“My plan is to have a four-tier cake where the bottom two are completely separate entities with different flavours and the top two are lemon/strawberry,” she explained in her Reddit post, making clear that her mother could technically still eat the bottom two layers of the cake.
According to the woman, her mother’s allergy isn’t extreme, as she noted that eating a strawberry only results in a “headache and mild rash” and nothing will happen if she eats food that has touched a strawberry.
However, the bride’s mother was still not pleased with strawberries being included at all. “She is absolutely incensed with my plan to include strawberries in my wedding cake and continuously makes passive aggressive comments about how wedding RSVPs include a section for the guests’ allergies and she would never serve something a guest couldn’t eat,” the Reddit post read.
According to the Reddit user, she attempted to explain to her mother that two out of the four cake tiers are strawberry free, while pointing out that she has diabetes so she “won’t be eating more than a small slice to begin with”.
After speaking to her father about the problem, her mother overheard her and said: “This is my only daughter’s one and only wedding, I want to be able to eat every part of the cake.”
“Haven’t been able to close my mouth since the pure shock. I mean. It’s MY only wedding. And she sees nothing wrong with saying something so insanely out of pocket??” the bride wrote in her Reddit post.
The woman’s father ended up agreeing with her mother, which she explained she was used to happening. She explained this was typical behaviour of her mother to “get whatever she wants,” but was hoping her wedding would be an exception.
Since posting on Reddit, many people took to the comments section to note that, although an allergy section should have been on the invitation, her mother did have an alternative dessert and could still eat at her daughter’s wedding.
“Even if she’s okay with being near strawberries, another tier of the same cake would be worrisome to me. But as long as she’s not completely excluded from dessert, either the other tiers or another dessert, it’s fine,” one comment began. “She’s right that you should have a section for allergies on the RSVP though. Make sure there is at least one option for everyone, and that things with a certain ingredient are clear.”
A second commenter agreed, writing: “She’s making it seem like the most important aspect of this day is her ability to eat, or not eat, cake. She’s made a weird powerplay over cake. It’s bizarre. She is making it seem like this entire event is based on guests eating all layers of a cake.”
Another commenter suggested that it might have satisfied her mother more to have two separate cakes instead of just one big one. “A different solution might be having a special ‘bride’s cake’ with lemon/strawberry that is separate from the main confection. Might be a little more acceptable to her,” they suggested.