Bethenny Frankel Announces Death of Her Mother Bernadette Birk: 'I Have Beautiful Memories of Her'
Frankel revealed she had a "sixth sense" that her mother was dying and danced to her favorite song in an Alaïa dress as it happened
Bethenny Frankel's mother has died.
The podcaster and former reality star, 53, shared in an Instagram post on Saturday, April 20, that her mother, Bernadette Birk, "died of lung cancer." The post featured a carousel of images of Birk, who was also called Bonnie, from over the years.
Birk posed alone in some photos, but Frankel was with her mom in many of the images, though the mother and daughter had a difficult relationship, according to Frankel. Frankel's daughter, Bryn Hoppy, posed with her grandmother in the final photo in the set, wearing a blue sweatshirt.
A Neptune Society obituary confirmed that Birk died on Friday, April 19, at the age of 73.
Related: Bethenny Frankel Asks Daughter Bryn, 13, About Her First Kiss and Crushes: 'Be Honest'
"My mother has died of lung cancer. She was complex, in pain, isolated and had demons," Frankel began the caption of her post. "She was the most stunning woman you have ever seen, who left her abusive home as quickly as I ran from mine."
"She was brilliant, funny, cultured and wise — yet suffered a lifelong eating disorder, alcoholism, abuse, smoking and self destruction," her caption continued.
Frankel said that Birk was not "equipped to be a mother," but added, "She loved me and I have beautiful memories of her."
The former Bravo star and natural food chef wrote that her mother taught her about "food, wit, culture and strength."
Frankel has been open about her estranged relationship with both of her parents, including her dad Bobby Frankel, who died in 2009, while she was filming season 3 of The Real Housewives of New York City.
She told PEOPLE she was estranged from Birk in a cover story introducing Hoppy, now 13, to the world.
“I never had a true childhood," she said at the time. "There was a lot of destruction: alcohol abuse, eating disorders and violent fights.”
In her 2011 book A Place of Yes, Bethenny said her mother was an alcoholic and didn't create a "safe" environment for her daughter growing up.
In the caption of her April 20 Instagram post, Bethenny said her difficult childhood with her mother made her "strong, tough, a survivor who is able to handle anything."
The author also said she was determined to have a different relationship with her own daughter and that it was Hoppy who inspired her to reconnect with Birk.
"She adored Bryn and they shared a love of art," Bethenny wrote, adding that her mother left her assets to Hoppy.
Despite her difficult relationship with Birk, Bethenny said in her caption that she had "a sixth sense" that Birk had died before hearing the news.
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"I had started to release some trauma, was dancing to the song 'I’m alive' in her favorite designer Alaia dress as she was dying," she revealed.
"I remember her as a young woman during periods of happiness loving me and long for those memories of affection," she continued. "I mourn her loss, her life, her loneliness and my childhood. I mourn her inability to experience motherhood, the most beautiful gift of a lifetime."
"You did the best you could and you are free and at peace," the podcaster wrote to Birk.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please go to NationalEatingDisorders.org.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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