This Dad Admitted That His Son Comes Before His Wife, And It's An Interesting Conversation We Want Your Insight On

Reddit's r/AmItheAsshole subreddit likely needs no introduction by now — it's a place where people can ask if they are a jerk for how they handled certain situations. Today we're going to highlight a dad who admits to favoring his son over his wife. Let's get into it.

Smiling father with his arm around his smiling son's shoulders
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Reddit user u/Prestigious-Swim4924, 32, explains that his 30-year-old wife has recently been concerned over their financial situation. "I told her my income isn't going to change anytime soon, so I asked her what we wanted to do about it. She suggested that when my son — she is his stepmother — turns 18, we should start charging him rent."

Close-up of a lease agreement
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But u/Prestigious-Swim4924 immediately shut down the idea: "She said it was reasonable, since I was paying most of his college tuition, but I told her there are alternatives. I suggested we stop eating out so much because it's $50–$100 per meal, but she didn't like that idea. I suggested other things, which she rejected, so I told her I'm open to suggestions, but my son isn't going to be our source of income."

Man and woman sitting on a couch arguing
Urbazon / Getty Images

His wife then told him he should think more of her than his son. He said, "That made me a little mad, so I told her my son will always come before her. She called me an asshole after that and hasn't talked to me since. Did I overstep?"

Man and woman on a couch looking annoyed
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And for anyone wondering, his wife does NOT work. Here's what people are saying:

"You're not an asshole. If she can't cut out eating out so much, there's no way the next step is to 'charge an 18-year-old rent,'" said u/C_Majuscula.

"You did right by your son, and your current wife needs to adjust her attitude. Maybe she should look for a better job herself if she wants a higher-income household."


"So your unemployed wife is raising hackles at your barely legal son, who is somehow supposed to hold down a job and study full time so she can continue to afford to eat out. Really? If you’re short on money, there are two options: Cut down on expenses or the unemployed partner finds a job. Your son has a job — he’s studying."


"She’s trying to force out your son. You should talk to your son about what ELSE she’s said or done to him that you don’t know about. He could be keeping silent just so you could be happy."


"I'd be suspicious of any parent who thought of others before they thought of their children. Even a spouse. It's great that you are able and willing to support your son. Your wife sucks for preferring to have an 18-year-old student pay rent rather than skip some restaurant visits."


Overall, it is apparent that most people believe parents SHOULD NOT charge their kids rent; do you agree with this? And if so, should there be a cutoff age?! Let us know in the comments!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.