Alec Baldwin's wife Hilaria says he 'wanted to kill himself' the day after “Rust” shooting: He 'has survivor's guilt'

Alec Baldwin's wife Hilaria is opening up about the tumultuous period following the shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins in Oct. 2021.

"It was a very traumatic thing for everybody that was in that room, and everybody that is connected to it," Hilaria said on the Sunday's episode of the new TLC reality series The Baldwins. The case against Baldwin for his involvement in Hutchins's death on the set of the Western film Rust was dismissed last July, but the TLC series documents the lives of Alec, Hilaria, and their seven children in the days leading up to his trial.

Hilaria then revealed to a friend, "I found these text messages the other day between us, the day after. He said he wanted to kill himself."

Related: Alec Baldwin opens up about PTSD from Rust shooting in reality show: 'Why am I still here?'

"He has survivor's guilt. You're involved in this thing that not anyone could even possibly imagine, so it goes back to that day. He wishes it were him," she continued.

On Oct. 21, 2021, Hutchins was killed and Rust director Joel Souza was wounded when a gun being wielded as a prop by Baldwin discharged a live round. Three individuals were charged as a result of the ensuing investigation - Baldwin, Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, the film's armorer, and assistant director David Halls. Baldwin's case was dropped and can't be refiled after police and prosecutors were found to have committed a Brady violation, but Gutierrez-Reed was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and Halls pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of negligent use of a deadly weapon.

Baldwin recently filed a civil lawsuit against prosecutors and investigators in the criminal manslaughter trial, alleging malicious prosecution and defamation.

"A son lost his mom, a family lost their person, Halyna lost her life in the most unforeseeable tragedy," Hilaria said during an on-camera confessional. "This is never something to forget. This is never something to not think of. This is about honoring a really incredible person for the rest of our lives, and to pass on her memory to our children and to our children's children."

In his own confessional, Alec revealed that, "There was a period all this last year where I'd lay in bed and I'd think, 'No, I don't want to get out of bed.'" Though he also remarked with visible anger that "a lot of people" in the entertainment industry "cut my throat" after the shooting.

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Related: Hilaria Baldwin says fake Spanish accent controversy put her in 'dark places'

The couple revealed on the first episode of The Baldwins, which aired on Feb. 23, that the actor had been diagnosed with PTSD.

Baldwin has made several recent appearances on Saturday Night Live, impersonating Fox News host Bret Baier in an October episode and welcoming Martin Short to the club of celerities that have hosted the program five times or more in December.

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