Adults Are Sharing The Mistakes They Made In Their 30s And Beyond That They Didn't Think They Were Capable Of Making, And They're Poignant

Note: This post contains mentions of abuse.

People aren't immune from making mistakes just because they grow older, and that's just being human. Recently, BuzzFeed Community members shared the mistakes they made in their 30s and beyond that they didn't think they were capable of making, and they're incredibly honest. Here are some of the stories that prove nobody is perfect, no matter the age:

1."I made the mistake of going back to school. I wanted to get a degree and prove myself, but I found out after wasting two years' worth of time and money that school just wasn't for me. I went during an already hectic time in my life, so maybe that's part of the reason it didn't work out, but I don't think I'll try again anytime soon. I honestly should have planned it better before going back on a whim."

2."I stayed in a job much longer than I should have. I was always told how great I was at the job, so I thought that's where I was meant to be. I always felt sick; I always dreaded work, and I worked with extremely toxic people. After nine-and-a-half years, I received a nasty email from another employee and immediately started looking for another workplace. I got the first job I saw and applied for! It got more money, it was a totally different line of work, and I am so happy. Even though you might be good at something, it doesn't mean you should stay."

—Anonymous

3."I had an affair. I'll regret that for the rest of my life, and I still hate myself for it."

4."I impulsively moved out of state away from my friends and family, thinking that I could do nothing great with myself. I ended up sad, lonely, and desperate, craving any human connection. I started talking to this man who befriended me on Facebook, and we talked for weeks and weeks. We talked on the phone, but he apparently was from a different state, and he wasn't comfortable video calling 'just yet.' I didn't pay attention to the red flags and trusted him. He asked for money so that he could fly and see me, so I sent it over. I never heard from him again."

—Anonymous, 42

5."I had just spent the prior three years busting my butt building my real-estate career and working multiple side hustles to support myself and my young son. I had gone on a date to a casino, and he gave me $100 to play. I won $450 and felt so happy — gambling seemed fun! Well, fast-forward a year, and I'd gotten so deep into gambling app addiction that I lost my home, my career, and my car and ended up having to move in with my family. I owe multiple people thousands of dollars and have zero will to work because I blew my chances on the one thing I wanted to do."

6."I had two unwanted pregnancies, resulting in two abortions. I definitely know about safe sex, but I acted carelessly, and it caused a great amount of emotional damage to my self-worth and relationships. My sex life has been non-existent since."

—Anonymous

7."Staying in a relationship with a guy who had nothing going on in life. All he did was work and never wanted to do anything. We had a son, and he didn't even care for him. I wasted seven years being with someone who didn't enjoy life. I shut myself down and stayed loyal; I didn't even have any social media. I moved on now and am seeing a different side of the world that I didn't even know existed. Don't ever waste your life with someone that doesn't value you."

8."I stayed with an emotionally abusive tyrant who ruled our home with fear. I kept hoping he would chill out because he provided for us so well: vacations, top-notch homes, new cars, etc. I finally went to therapy, and I was able to emotionally distance myself from caring about him. Please get help as soon as you recognize there are issues! I threw my youth away for lifestyle trinkets! He's mellow now, but it's too late. I left for five years — which were great times — but now I'm back for financial benefits. It's crushing my spirits. My advice for those in a similar situation is to face reality sooner than later, get out, and find a happy space, even if you're alone!"

—crunchymagazine51

9."Continuing to lend money to a 'friend' who always promised to pay me back but hardly ever did. It didn't stop her from asking for more. I did it because I didn't want to lose a friend until I realized I was not a friend to her, but an ATM. The final straw came when she received the COVID-19 stimulus money and said she was going to spend it all on herself instead of beginning payments to me. I told her off and cut off all contact. Later, she tried to get back on my good side. I told her the only way to do that was to send a good-faith payment on the loan. I never heard back from her. I am poorer in my bank account, but I'm better off for having the leech out of my life."

10."I lost my daughter once she turned 19. I normalized drinking, but I wasn't as into it as my father, so I thought everything would be fine. I let my husband run the house and left the decision-making to him as far as how our daughter dressed and how she navigated her life in general. Once she graduated from high school, she met a boy, then stopped coming home on time, leaving me to call and worry all night. I wanted her to come home before her dad woke up so that I didn't have to argue with him. My daughter asked if I just went along with her dad's rules to keep the peace — which was spot on. She turned into her horrible boyfriend and started acting and talking like him."

11."Getting pregnant knowing that my now ex-husband was already showing his full colors of being addicted to alcohol and that his family was enabling it. I spent more than half of my pregnancy alone and depressed, and the other half feeling like I was walking on eggshells of being his reason for potential relapse. I had the chance to get out of the relationship before the pregnancy, but instead, I decided to work through his problems and hold on. What was supposed to be a happy time turned into a nightmare, as he no longer had alcohol to help deal with the stress of post-pregnancy. Being sober led him to begin divulging every single marital problem to his parents, which essentially poisoned the well for me. I had boundaries with my family, but he refused to do the same. Finally, he freed me by filing for divorce. I found my life partner after that, but my daughter never got to experience a loving father in the womb or out of it — and my heart aches every day for her."

—Anonymous

12."In the early '00s, one of my coworkers met a man online from England (we are in the US). She was in her mid-30s and shy. They built up a relationship, and after a year or so, he told her that his daughter needed an operation. (You can guess where this is going). She sent him the money — which was most of her savings — and their relationship continued for several more months. Finally, my coworker told me that she was going to meet the man at the airport one night. She took a vacation, booked a nice hotel, and went to the airport. Nothing — he never showed up and never talked to her again. While scamming her out of her money was terrible, I thought building her hopes up for the meeting (and letting her spend all that money for nothing) was worse. She was CRUSHED, and she had to tell everyone what happened."

13."I made the mistake of attempting polyamory with my husband of 17 years. We married young, so I never got to explore my bisexuality. Also, my husband traveled a lot for work, and having young kids, I was super lonely. I convinced my husband that getting into polyamory would be a good idea, but it was the worst decision of my life. We only tried for four months, but it was so traumatic for both of us. I ended up in an outpatient mental health program and was diagnosed with severe depression and CPTSD. Luckily, we were able to salvage our marriage despite the damage that polyamory caused it, and after a lot of work, our marriage is better because of it. I just wish we could've gotten to this point in less traumatic ways."

—Anonymous

14."I got into a situationship with this guy, knowing he was a player. I went in with zero hopes for an emotional connection, but guess what? We did connect — or so I believed. Four months into the relationship, he started to become verbally abusive. Every night, we would go to bed after fighting for hours. And then, he kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night when I learned about his lying and confronted him. It was classic narcissist behavior. It doesn't help that I was 31 with a PhD in neuropsychology."

15."I did not create a savings or money cushion and charged my credit card nearly $10k when that money could have been saved. I regret that I allowed this to happen twice. I ran my credit card up by thousands in my early 30s and again in my late 30s. This happened for several reasons. First, I had to replace my entire wardrobe because it was stuck in the '90s and 2000s. I was frugal (nothing wrong with that), but a lot of what I bought was cheap and ended up costing me in the end. I had no savings or money cushion, so I had to use my credit card for many purchases that could've been covered with cash if I'd saved or been smarter with my money."

16.Lastly: "Staying in an unhappy long-term relationship and cheating on them. My mental health was depleted, and this guy I've been friends with for years picked me up and consoled me back up to a better mental state. Six years later, I'm still in both relationships, and I honestly don't know how I got here. I wish the guy I was cheating with was single, too, so I could leave the trash relationship I'm in now. I can see why people stay in mediocre, miserable relationships because it's unrealistic to start over since I've spent more than 15 years with the man I've been cheating on. I know it's wrong. It's hard to deal with mental health when the resources are unaffordable, but I've been able to cope thanks to my other relationship, which has pulled me out from wanting to give up on life. We've helped each other through some dark times."

—Anonymous, 36, Minnesota

If you ever made a mistake well into adulthood that you regretted because you "should've known better," feel free to share with us what it was in the comments. If you wish to remain anonymous, you can submit your story using this form!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.