Yahoo Lifestyle 56 People Who Are Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Dumber Than Anyone You've Ever Met
Over the years, I've asked the Buzzfeed Community to tell us the most stupid things someone said or did. Here are the dumbest (and funniest) things they had to share:
Some submissions come from these Reddit threads.
1."My cat was diagnosed with a heart condition and my sister made the comment that fresh air would cure her. I had no response."
2."My ex-wife thought it was called the 'Leaning Tower of Pizza.' She was 28."
3."A friend once asked me, 'Why do people speak different languages if we all hear English in our heads?' She truly thought everyone thought in English but spoke various languages."
4."I dated this guy who thought cis women had a prostate."
5."A few years after my mom died, my dad decided to get back into the dating game; he dated this woman who, among other things, thought it was possible to breathe underwater and that the only reason people drown is that they 'breathe too fast.'"
6."My ex-boyfriend bought me a bouquet of flowers and didn’t know that they needed to go in water."
7."I dated a guy who told me a woman's spine splits when they have a baby."
8."My ex, when I told him I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts, said, 'Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative things, too? This is why Republicans say they hate colleges! Y’all could fix politics so fast.'"
9."My ex asked me (a British person who moved from England to America) how hard it was to learn English when I got to the USA."
10."I once dated someone who pronounced the 'T' in buffet when referring to the type of restaurant."
11."A friend of mine asked me why we didn’t see stars when we flew over them. She truly believed that when you were flying on an airplane, you flew over the stars. I was speechless."
12."I was talking to the cashier at a 24-hour Tesco's at about 1 in the morning, and he said, 'I don't mind working nights because I'm a necrophile.' I said, 'Do you mean nocturnal?'"
13."Someone once said that they couldn’t wait for Halloween to fall on Friday the 13th."
14."Last month a coworker asked if I'll run out of blood eventually because I donate every couple months. He's 34 years old."
15.“This man said, 'Isn’t it amazing how dogs just come out knowing commands like sit and lay down?' He was stone-cold serious."
16."After I told my college suitemate that I was taking Spanish courses, she said, 'I don’t mean to stereotype, but you look too white to speak Spanish.'"
17."I’m from New Mexico and was once told that my English is excellent."
18."A friend of mine traveled to the US with her family when she was younger. Upon hearing her family’s accent, an American asked, 'Where are you guys from?' The answer was Australia, and that person confidently responded with, 'Ah, which state is that?'"
19."I’m a skydiver. I once had a woman ask me if the plane stops for us to get out."
20."I was in year eight of school and a guy in my year asked my sister, who was in year 12, if she was my twin. Like bro, I can’t have a twin four years older than me."
21."I heard someone say, 'I thought windmills cool down the Earth to stop global warming.'"
22."I mentioned Martin Luther King to my friend, and she said, 'Is he a boxer?'"
23.“Someone said, 'You shouldn’t drink carbonated water; it’s full of carbs!' I’m rarely at a loss for words, but I almost lost brain cells when I heard that."
24."When I was doing tech support, a woman asked, 'How do I type the upside down i?' I said, 'Ma'am, that's an exclamation mark.'"
25."Someone asked me, 'Are you right-handed or left-handed?' I only have one arm!"
26."My brother's wife is a pharmacist. A friend introduced him to his fiancé, and upon hearing my brother's wife was a pharmacist, she went with, 'Oh cool, I've never known anyone who worked on a farm before.'"
27."My girlfriend and I went to a gift shop where they were giving out free samples of fudge. After eating the samples, I bought a hat. We went through the front door, and the security sensors went off as they forgot to take off the security tag on the hat. My girlfriend looks at me and says, 'Oh thank god. I thought it was the fudge that we ate."
28."In school, my lab partner once asked if you got a perm while pregnant, would your baby have naturally curly hair."
29."A friend of mine honestly thought that color was invented and the paintings made before like 1990 were redone in color."
30."This woman said that kidneys were a reproductive organ... She was dead serious."
31."My partner and I were talking about dinosaurs and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he proceeded to ask me if they really breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing."
32."My boyfriend said he’d make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly in the hot pan."
33."My girlfriend didn’t understand that you actually have to pay what you spent on credit cards. Like the credit amount she had was supposed to be her monthly limit that just resets each month."
34."My ex asked me, 'Where does the sun go at night?' I was dumbfounded. She was in her early 20s at the time."
35."I had a partner who stacked cups...when putting them in the dishwasher."
36."My ex thought you absorb a gallon of water when you shower. So he didn’t need to drink water."
37."My ex asked me where they grew spaghetti."
38."My ex-girlfriend asked me if I could name all 52 US states."
39."I once asked my ex to start boiling the potatoes for dinner about 20 minutes before I got home so that they would be close to ready for me to mash up as the side for dinner. I got home right as he put them in the water. He had to call his dad to ask how to boil potatoes."
40."I introduced my ex to my stepsister. He said, 'Weird. You guys look nothing alike.'”
41."My ex would only drink whole milk because when he saw 2% milk he thought, What’s the other 98%? He thought he was a genius."
42."My ex were curious about the amount of fat in water."
43."I scheduled a patient for an appointment on the 16th and he went, 'Was it for the 16th or the 60th?'"
44."Upon driving past a Wells Fargo bank, my husband's ex said, 'That looks like a good place to eat.'”
45."In a class at a university, a girl did a presentation on Benjamin Franklin in which she stated, totally seriously and confidently, that he had been president of the United States."
46."My college roommate asked me, 'Do you believe in bed bugs?' When I responded with 'Yes, because they’re real?' she was SHOOK."
47."I told my coworker that my purse was made of vegan leather. Her response was 'How do they know what the cows ate?'"
48."A buddy of my husband’s once spilled a little bit of plain water on a carpet. He went 'Oh no! Is it gonna stain?!'”
49."When talking about how schools have different break times around Thanksgiving, my coworker stopped and said, 'Yeah, but I think Thanksgiving was on a Tuesday last year.'"
50."When I was in middle school, one girl in my class really thought our lungs were in our necks."
51."I was once asked, 'What is Obama's last name?'"
52."I had a friend all throughout high school who insisted for years that shrimp are baby lobsters."
53."Someone tried to argue with me that twins come out at the same time...I'm literally a twin."
54."A friend of mine who barely graduated from high school went to college and decided to take a very challenging astronomy course because 'she wanted to know the future.'"
55."A girl in high school said that rice was just noodles chopped up."
56.And finally, "Once, when my brother was about 12, we were watching The Wizard of Oz. When Dorothy opened her door and the screen turned from black-and-white Kansas to technicolor Oz, he turned to us and said, 'The world must have been boring when it was all black and white.'"
What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say? Tell us in the comments.
