5 things to know about introducing solids, from a mom in the midst

My partner and I have always considered ourselves foodies. Cooking together has always been our bonding time; we love trying new foods and flavors and have essentially eaten our way through every city we’ve traveled to. When we got pregnant, the milestone we were both most excited for was food introduction: we knew it would be messy, difficult at times and even scary, but we also feel there is so much to value in preparing food for loved ones and sharing a meal. Our 7-month-old is 25% of the way to our goal of trying 101 foods before age 1 year—and here’s some things we’ve learned about introducing solids along the way.

It isn’t baby-led weaning vs. purees

When researching how to start solids with our almost 6-month-old, it seemed to come down to two approaches to solids introduction: baby-led weaning (BLW) or purees. At first, I was immediately drawn to BLW—I downloaded the apps, planned a month of meals including early allergen introduction and watched hours of videos of babies gagging and choking to prepare myself.

Read more: Responsive Feeding

And then it actually came down to it. Our son was consistently showing signs of readiness and increased hunger. We got the green light and planned to give him his first food the following week. Then the nightmares started: I couldn’t go a night without vivid nightmares of him choking on meals I had planned for his first month. My postpartum anxiety had been under control until the idea of introducing solids became real. So I bought a food steamer and blender… and his first food was a puree.

Over the past months we’ve slowly transitioned to a 90% BLW diet, but there are still days—and certain foods—where we lean on purees so that we can enjoy mealtimes without anxiety. So much of what you’ll find online pits these two approaches against each other, but I’m here to tell you that it can work with both. You can do whatever mix of the two works for you and your baby.

Messy doesn’t equate failure

If you are introducing foods, let me be the first to tell you that it is going to get messy. My son does exceptionally well with getting the food to his mouth but there have been several instances where berries have stained the top I was wearing, our walls were splattered with avocado or the pups got an extra meal from a plate pushed to the floor.

During those first few meals, when more food was ending up in his bib than in his mouth, it was hard to feel like I wasn’t failing at this whole thing. But as I became more gentle with both him and myself, I was able to enjoy mealtimes more—and it took the pressure off. His eating and self-feeding skills are continuing to improve.

And while I walked away from lunchtime today with black beans covering my leg from the spoon that tumbled over the side of his highchair, I know that letting go of my fear of mess has allowed him to become more confident and excited for mealtimes—a true win.

Food introduction isn’t a straight line

I was familiar with sleep regressions—even speech regressions—before I was even pregnant. But I didn’t connect the concept to eating. So you can imagine my surprise when all of a sudden, my son, who was a fantastic eater, stopped wanting to hold the spoon himself and refused to even touch his food with his hands. He was obviously hungry; he knew how to bring the spoon to his mouth, so why wouldn’t he grab it anymore?

Learning to eat isn’t always a straight line. And that’s OK. Be gentle with yourself and with your baby—backwards momentum will happen, but it gets easier. Remember–take the pressure off!

Food introduction was an exercise in trust

I trust my baby. I know that sounds odd. But hear me out.

Hearing your baby gag on food is terrifying. I’ll never forget the first time we gave our son eggs and he gagged on nearly every bite. I’m embarrassed to now admit that my husband and I were snapping at each other after every spoonful. “The eggs are too big! They’re too tough! This is too much for him this early on, he’s not ready!”

But while we were freaking out, ready to implement a choking protocol at any moment, he was spitting pieces out after every time he gagged. And the next day, he gagged and spit out a little less.

I didn’t think I’d ever stop being terrified at the sound of him gagging. But as time passed, I realized that it was less scary when it happened. And at the same time, I was letting him take more and more control of his meals.

I was learning to trust him. Trust him to bite off the right amount, to take care of it when he didn’t. And while I was learning to trust him, he was becoming more adventurous and confident with food.

That trust has been carrying over to other areas of his development in ways I didn’t realize. We’re less stressed about him hitting certain sleep goals and instead letting him tell us how much or little sleep he needs each day. I’ve allowed myself to take more space and encourage his independent play more often. And he has blossomed in so many ways since!

Mealtime can—and should—be fun

Please know that it’s OK to feel stressed about food introduction. It’s easy for experts or mamas on the other side to remind us that meals should be fun. But introducing allergens, fruit peels and the threat of choking doesn’t exactly make for a relaxing experience.

However, I’m also here to tell you that it can be fun. Those fears can, and do, dwindle. And having fun with your baby while they’re exploring something new matters for you both.

So be gentle with yourself. Be flexible. Trust your instinct and your baby. Enjoy yourself. Food introduction is such a huge milestone and—no matter how you approach it—an incredible achievement for you both!