Yahoo Lifestyle 5 Important Things To Do After Someone Dies, According to a Funeral Director
Whether you’ve experienced the passing of a loved one before or not, the time can be overwhelming. You may have many practical things to do, all while handling various emotions. When a loved one dies, it's hard to know what checklist to follow.
Further, some of the important steps aren’t the more obvious ones, like notifying loved ones and planning a funeral or celebration of life. Many misconceptions about what funerals “should” look like float around too, further complicating matters.
To make this difficult time easier, read ahead for a step-by-step checklist on what to do after a loved one passes away, according to a licensed funeral director.
Related: 75 Rest in Peace Quotes
What To Do When a Loved One Dies
Caleb Klein, CFSP, a licensed funeral director for over 20 years, shares the five steps to take—other than grieving, which is also crucial.
1. Notify the proper authorities
What exactly this entails will depend on the circumstances surrounding the person’s death, Klein says.
If they received treatment from hospice or a physician, that person needs to be notified.
If the death occurs without a doctor, you’ll need to call your local police department. “They will decide whether your loved one can be released into the hands of a funeral home or if the medical examiner or another authority must take care of your loved one,” he explains.
If they died at a healthcare facility, the staff there will follow protocols to determine if the death needs to be reported to a medical examiner or another authority, or if the funeral provider is authorized to take the loved one into their care.
2. Choose a funeral home or service provider
You and/or your loved one may have already made funeral arrangements, in which you’ll need to notify those staff members of the person’s passing.
Otherwise, consider where you would like to have the funeral.
“Look for ones with positive reviews and those you would feel comfortable visiting,” Klein recommends. “Call the funeral homes you’ve chosen and get to know the individuals who will be caring for your loved one. Ask as many questions as you want before making a final decision.”
For example, you may want a director who comes across as particularly empathic or a place of worship near family members.
Related: 5 Stages of Grief To Expect After You’ve Experienced Loss, According to a Trauma Therapist
3. Compile the necessary documents
You’ll need to gather multiple documents when someone passes, such as identification, marriage and birth certificates, military discharge documents (DD-214 for veterans) and burial arrangements, Klein says.
The funeral provider will also require a signature on authorization paperwork.
4. Notify family and start making plans
Once those steps are taken care of, it’s time to plan the funeral with loved ones.
“It might be difficult to notify close friends and family, so asking for assistance is crucial,” Klein says.
When planning the funeral, he encourages thinking about what the loved one would have wanted, burial or cremation alternatives, funeral specifics, and any cultural or religious customs to include.
Related: 7 Phrases To Use When a Loved One Is Grieving, According to a Trauma Therapist
5. Deal with practical and legal issues
We’re sort of back to the documentation step, for better or worse. After the funeral, Klein says you’ll need to contact Social Security, terminate accounts, manage estate matters and get death certificates (usually with assistance from the funeral home).
“Navigating these obligations can be made easier by seeking expert advice,” he says. Those experts might include death educators, funeral directors, grief counselors, lawyers and even friends who have gone through this before.
Common Myths and Misconceptions To Be Aware Of
Keeping the truths behind these misunderstandings in mind can also be a comfort and support.
“You have to rush funeral arrangements.”
You may want or feel a need to plan and schedule the funeral ASAP. While that’s understandable, it’s not always necessary, according to Klein.
“Taking a few extra days to plan can lead to a more meaningful experience,” he adds.
“You must embalm your loved one.”
In most cases, this isn’t legally necessary, Klein says, and you have other options: refrigeration, direct cremation and green burial. He encourages families to know their options so they can make informed decisions.
“You have to hold the funeral in a funeral home.”
Funerals can be held wherever you want them to be (at least to some extent). For example, Klein has seen more families select private homes, country clubs and other spaces that evoke the spirit of their loved ones.
“Funerals have to be somber events.”
It’s normal for difficult, serious and sad emotions to arise during a funeral—and, that doesn’t mean it’s disrespectful to bring positive feelings into the mix.
“Funerals can be celebrations of life with storytelling, music, video tributes or other great elements that reflect joy and personality, even though the core of any service is grief,” Klein says.
After all, while we all need to take some of the same steps after a loved one passes, many decisions are up to us and the person we lost.
Up Next:
Related: ‘I’m a Funeral Director—This Is the #1 Thing I Tell Everyone To Do When Planning a Funeral'
Source
Caleb Klein, CFSP, a licensed funeral director
