Yahoo Lifestyle 43 Outrageous Job 'Perks' That Show How Bad Our Workplace Culture Has Become
Reddit user AdHour6144 asked, "What's the most insulting 'benefit' a job has offered you?" and the answers were pretty bleak. Here are some truly dystopian "benefits" people got at work.
1."I had a job where we were allowed to pay to wear jeans. You can't even make that shit up."
2."'Free water for the employees.' Wow, thank you!"
3."We got an email telling us to click on a link for a holiday appreciation gift from the company. If you clicked on it, you had just fallen for a phishing test to see if you would click on links in emails. Your gift was three hours of mandatory security training."
4."Once worked at a place where the 'benefit' was free access to the company gym...which was just a treadmill in a dark, windowless basement room. No thanks, I'll pass on the dungeon workout."
5."I worked at an oil and gas company where we had a town hall meeting. A rapper was hired, and he performed a song to tell us about a new company's intranet site. It was Facebook Marketplace, but just for our office. So we could sell each other shit."
6."They threw a staff appreciation BBQ to which all the staff was invited, but we still had to cook for all 300 employees. Everyone except the kitchen staff got to go, and they never made it up to us."
7."When I worked at a local mental health facility, they had a wildly high turnover issue across the board, particularly with clinical staff. One of their solutions for the morale issue was to throw an employee appreciation fair with free food, games, and music...the works. The first problem was that they expected the support staff to set up and man everything (maintenance constructing the booths, IT setting up and managing the sound system, kitchen staff doing all the cooking.) So not only did IT not get to enjoy the event, we ended up a full day behind on our normal tasks as well."
"The BIG problem, though, was that any of the staff who interacted with patients — particularly the clinical staff they were having trouble retaining — couldn't cancel those appointments to attend. So the event just ended up being administrative staff and the office pool having a big party for themselves while the rest of us either served them or heard the festivities coming from outside while they were stuck inside doing actual work. As you may imagine, it did not have the intended effect, but the C-Suite liked it so much it became an annual event."
8.Similarly..."I worked with behavioral/mental health patients that were mostly 1-1 and high risk. The company planned an event for staff among five to six of our sister facilities in the area. Due to turnover and low staffing, no one could attend, so they opened it to our patients — requiring us to take them there — and told us hours before it happened. When we got there, they gave someone a credit card with a $200 budget and effectively turned it into a marketing ploy. We had to make everything up on the spot. Half of us couldn't attend due to patients having court-ordered rules against being around certain individuals, groups, or settings. A few patients attempted to elope, got into physical altercations, or went into panic mode and had to be escorted back to the facility. It was an absolutely horrible day, but Regional made sure to post pictures of the patients smiling before everything went down, promoting it as 'social enrichment.'"
9."Years ago, the hospital where I worked gave a Christmas present to all employees 'in appreciation.' It was a small plastic bandaid holder, pre-loaded with a single bandaid. I kid you not. One guy suggested it was a psychological ploy, symbolically putting a bandaid over all our issues. To this day, I can't imagine the committee meeting where high-level officers thought up this idea."
10."They signed a deal with a gas station chain: employees would get a certain amount off on gasoline/diesel. This was paraded out with a full company meeting and everything. The price reduction was less than that of normal customers who got a card with that gas station chain. So they had spent months working out a deal worse than anyone could get by signing up at the gas station chain's website."
11."I was invited to a concert as a reward for our hard work. Sounded fun. On the day of, our boss sends us an email letting us know that the tickets were each $150...to be deducted from our paychecks."
"They would do similar things for gifts from the company. Like, if someone had a child, they'd give them a stroller or something. The thing was, they were dividing up the cost and taking it out of everyone else's check. That's not a gift from the company; that's a mandatory gift from other employees.
I got into a shouting match with our HR rep when I repeatedly refused to participate in this wage theft and kept finding random $20-50 deductions for 'gifts' from the company. They fired me for it, but I think about it regularly. Wtf. Blatantly illegal. It was a subsidiary of big corp, too."
12."We got fake company 'dollar bills' for good work or going above and beyond that we could spend on one-time use 'perks' like an extra break, a company shirt or hat, or a vending machine snack, maybe. The most expensive one was a pizza, and if you and your work crew put all yours together, it could be a 'pizza party.' Well, my guys and I pooled ours together and ordered three of the most expensive pizzas we could every time we had enough bucks. They changed the rule after that to a $20 lunch; you needed to get a receipt, and then they would reimburse your lunch."
13."They got a food truck to come out and park behind the building for us. They didn't pay for any of the food or consult us on the type of food we wanted. So basically, the benefit was 'you can pay for your lunch if you happen to like this food,' but they hyped it up as some grand gesture."
14."A vacation to a lake in Kansas (I didn't know there were lakes there) where I would cook for my boss's friends in a waterski tournament. That guy hated me forever for calling him out and declining the vacation."
15."Three paid days off for the death of your spouse."
"I had a coworker lose his wife to cancer. He was such a great guy. Three of us employees were planning to go to the funeral during work hours. The prick (and I mean giant asshole) owner sent us an email NOT to go and that he would represent the company.
Fuck you, dude, we all went. He gave us evil stares the whole time.
That was on a Friday. When the guy didn't come in Monday, the prick owner said to the CFO, 'He had all weekend to mourn; that should be enough.'"
16.Similarly..."I get bereavement leave. It really is just the ability to use my own sick or vacation time for a funeral. No actual additional leave."
17."'Of course, we support flexible working options! You're free to work from home nights and weekends.' Said with absolutely no hint of irony nor awareness."
18."I worked on a team that would force us to have a pizza party like every month or every other month, but nobody wanted to pay for it. It wasn’t covered in the company’s budget, but they kept making us have it. So it usually ended up being 'up in the air' as to who would pay for it.
Our team lead, who I'm assuming was responsible for mandating the party, made no attempts to hide his irritation at covering it the few times he did. I don't know who paid the other times or why we kept having them if it was such a sore spot. It wasn't the type of company where the president would've given enough of a shit to force him to do it.
I was the lowest paid (and the only PT team member with no benefits) and recognized all the resentment around it, so I didn't even eat anything. I didn't feel comfortable eating.
This same team insisted we go out to lunch to welcome me as a new employee, but when the check came, it sat awkwardly on the table for a few minutes before my manager made a big, reluctant show of standing up to retrieve it. It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable.
I have no clue why employers force these things if there isn't 'team-building fun money' allotted in the budget. It just makes managers/directors resentful and the atmosphere strained, so nobody has any fun."
19."I interviewed with a place earlier in the year that walked me around the facility, including their employee dining room, and the guy said (enthusiastically), 'We're right next to the employee dining room, so there's never any reason to leave the office for lunch!'"
"The office and dining room were in the basement. Zero sun or windows, all day, every day. What a bonus that I can grab my lunch and bring it right back to my desk for more work!"
20."A delusional manager decided to renovate the copier room and turn it into a 'zen room.' He got rid of the copier, installed two large flat-panel TVs/monitors, commissioned a mural of abstract mountains, and added a microwave, an Alexa, and a couple of easy chairs. We worked a command-center style job, which was and could be extremely stressful. He said, 'For those days you're struggling, use the room to work instead.' It sat one employee. I never set one foot in the room."
21."I've had, 'You guys worked hard, so we're taking your team out to lunch.' We got to the restaurant, ordered, ate our food, and then at the end, they informed us that we still had to pay for our own food. We were just being taken out to a restaurant down the street during our lunch break...not being given free food."
22."For teacher appreciation week, the school gave us a 'gift card' to Chick-fil-A to be redeemed for a free breakfast sandwich. Also, it could only be used at one specific Chik-fil-A near work and had an expiration date. A coupon. That's called a coupon."
23."'Flexible work hours.' You must be in-office between eight and five, but you can show up earlier or stay later if you want."
24."This was in 2004. Our 'Christmas bonuses' were hyped up for months. We had a pizza party in the breakroom with a DJ (the guy who ran the mailroom), and they handed out envelopes to everyone. It was a Target gift card with $5 on it. My department was so angry we decided to pool our cards and buy supplies for a chemo care package for one of our people who was fighting breast cancer. That made us feel a bit better."
25."Paying me on time. It's not fucking optional. You have to pay your staff on time; they have bills to pay for goddamn sake."
26."A pinball machine and pool table for use on breaks that people got shamed for using."
"Been there. If you try to use it, you'll be told off for not actively working. When you tell them you've finished all your work early, you'll get told off for not finding more work to do. So instead, you just sit at your computer and 'pretend' to work 'cause there's literally nothing to work on at the time."
27."They promised to get us a coffee maker. They got it one day. Reader, it was a coffee vending machine — a pretty shitty one too. Corporate then kept asking everyone why don’t we use the machine and go to the coffee shop instead, and then made a big drama about how they had to remove the machine because it wasn’t profitable enough."
28."'We will make a donation in your name to our church.' ... He was the pastor of the church."
29."My job just sent me a congratulatory pdf for my 5-year anniversary."
30."Unlimited PTO — spoiler alert, there's a limit, and they don't have to pay you out for unused PTO when you leave."
31."At the major bank, they told us they would allow us to turn our cameras off during meetings on Fridays."
32."Instead of hiring more people to help out with the wildly borderline abusive demands brought on by understaffing, they hosted a professional development course on how to deal with workplace stress. 'Here, let me teach you how to be more okay with me taking advantage of you.'"
33."We were allowed to 'buy out a day.' This meant we had two weeks of PTO, and if we wanted more days, we could buy a PTO day from the company. So I'd be paying $180 to not go to work for a day."
34."Employee of the month got lunch with the CEO. The CEO was a total unlikable knob who forced employees to socialize with them. You would never nominate someone you actually liked for this 'award.'"
35."If you received a customer compliment, you were entered into a raffle. The prize was a $5 Dunkin Donuts card. Mind you, this was like 12 years ago, but even back then, $5 couldn't buy much at Dunkin."
36."Chaplain services. Once a week, two knock-off priests came in and asked if you wanted to pray with them."
37."We had a Christmas lunch party, an on-premises kinda deal. There was a raffle for prizes. A full 75% of the 'prizes' were fire extinguishers. The small kitchen and vehicle ones."
38."Healthcare was in another country. No joke. I was working as a CNA in San Diego. I had to go to Tijuana for healthcare. To add insult to injury, office employees got Kaiser."
39."I get free gym access at a local gym, but it's not walking distance from the office, and the free access is only up til 3 p.m. weekdays...during which time I am working."
40."'We are closed Sundays for employees to recharge and establish a work-life balance!' We had a mandatory 6-day work week. Flat rate production-based, so no overtime or guaranteed hours, and that's legal."
41."They kept increasing my end-of-year bonus calculation factor. The problem was the company never met its financial goals to trigger an end-of-year bonus (or so they said because the goal trigger algorithm was kept secret). 'You did such a great job this year; we're doubling your bonus factor!'…Turns out, anything multiplied by zero is still zero."
42."I worked as an Assistant Librarian and then as a Bookstacks Manager, and my initial job offering and the eventual promotion letter listed 'bathroom breaks and a 30-minute lunch' as a benefit. You know, stuff mandated by the state that they're obligated to give me."
43.And finally..."Kombucha on tap that hadn't been replaced in months. Also, free massages, though the company didn't hire a masseuse, so it was just a massage table in a dark room. Finally, I worked at a country club, and one day a year for two hours total, an employee could swim in the pool. This was the day the pool closed for the season, and the water was nasty, uncleaned, and about to be drained. Come on all! You get the benefit of swimming in rich people's filth for a few hours! That's a great benefit. 🙄"
What's the most insulting "benefit" you've seen offered? Let us know in the comments below!
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
